bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148989
 11.02.2018
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Arrived to Oganesians to return the screwdriver
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Feeding
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: Drunk
[11.02, 15:49] xxx: I handed out the pants from Germany and let go with peace, I adore this family)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148988
 11.02.2018
The doctor is not a doctor, the patient is alive. And they can even recover, which brings certain moral satisfaction. And the judge? Who opens up that is scary to look at? If he does not treat bodies like meat, he will not be able to work. He will either crash or die from a heart attack. Or, as is often the case, it will have a roof.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148987
 11.02.2018
We watched with my daughter today "Wallie", well, I had to explain on constant "chips" that "This robot was left to clean the garbage", "And this robot was sent to look for life, so that people could understand that on Earth can live again.""And why does he then shoot?"I also became interested, why a five-year-old child is obvious, and the adult uncles who created the cartoon do not.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148986
 11.02.2018
Website for Parents:
“I’m waiting for a boy and we have Wi-Fi at home. Could this affect my future son?
Of course! Your son is going to be Siddhartha!! to

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148985
 11.02.2018
Obviously

Well, why the dragon can be understood as a virgin. Why should a girl be the most beautiful? The dragon doesn’t care what form of meat to eat.

Don’t be ashamed to post your food on Instagram

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148984
 11.02.2018
At the time of the Olympics, wars were stopped. The Olympic Games are the continuation of war by other means.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148983
 11.02.2018
Sohaty: We’re going to go to Moscow with a hoppestop.
The Cat: LOL Maybe by car? ?
Sohaty : No.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №148982
 11.02.2018
XXX: I am currently dating Katie. By passport, of course, it is still Serezha, but will soon have to change. And you know, you all sit down, don’t be ashamed, but I’m better to stand.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148981
 11.02.2018
XXX: What did you buy?
and Scotch.
XXX: This is not the Scottish.
Yyy: In the sense, not the one we deserve, but the one we need?
xxx: I asked to buy a special painting scotch.
Yyy: Oh, it’s like malars don’t care about drinking.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №148980
 11.02.2018
Once, when I was on duty at the headquarters, I was on duty at the police station. From each company when serving on the switch, arrangements are transmitted, such as who is daytime, who is on duty. I recorded all the information in the journal and sat down on the ballad. Replacement for today. I stretch out to him the journal, he looks, on a table in three companies (and we have five of them) Rabshana and Jamshuta. Go up. I free him the space behind the switch, he raises the telephone, presses the call of one of his mouths. After the day-to-day response, something like a day-to-day tube button looks! Quietly speaking to the telephone -I'm your mom and ball, and it includes a loud communication. Dnevalny does not know that this is a police officer, he begins to react with a selective mat and his own and Russian and promises of punishment, up to murder. Zampolit quickly connects the second company. The second daytime raises the tube, and from there, the matts, and even with threats. He begins to scream in response. Zampolit quickly incorporates the following company. We listen to an incredible scandal on the air, and we mourn with laughter. I would never have imagined that our police would be such a joke.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148979
 11.02.2018
xxx: Some members of the guild shared with me things they did not share with anyone else. Someone suffered from depression, alcoholism and drug addiction. Sometimes female players became victims of harassment by male players. Sometimes husbands asked me how to save their marriage – I usually advised them to stop playing so much at Ultima Online.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148978
 11.02.2018
Because of your Negroes I read about the languages of Africa. One of them is the Ethiopian language of the tigris. I want!I want to talk to the tiger! It sounds like!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148977
 11.02.2018
>and asks who stands closer to the distribution table: Give me...

Now think about what she thinks about you.

Personally, I have that spruce that spruce is usually associated with decoctions.
The berries were collected earlier from the bushes and cooked in the winter.
Just the shrub grew less often than the shrubber, the berries were smaller, the effort was greater, and the shrubber was considered more useful.
As a result, if everyone knows about the decoction of shrimp berries, then about the same thing, but many have already forgotten about the shrimp.

But alcoholic solutions from the pharmacy are a persistent association to the name only in alcoholics.
When they don’t even think that there is even a decoction.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148976
 11.02.2018
xxx: these athletes in their sports are directly impaired. One, only born, left the infant at home and ran on skies to ride
yyy: the milk is gone))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148975
 11.02.2018
Today I discovered the cause of a leak under the washing machine, about which my husband was drinking for two months. The joint of the tube with the knee was detached. Clamped with a hermetic, wrapped with a fumen.
And he? Standing and watching. I gave the knives. It is good to be an elephant 2 meters tall and weighing 120 kg. He just doesn’t get under the washing...The next time I’ll choose a man smaller...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148974
 11.02.2018
I am looking for a girl named Christina to study in the Technical School of Technology and Design today crossed up with you on the screen.
Poor children, so sluggish that they even crossed everything on the pitch.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148973
 11.02.2018
Usually my husband and I sleep under the same blanket, but the last nights are cold, put another on the bed so that you can hide from above. I go to bed at night and my husband is surprised.
Do we sleep under different blankets?
“No,” I say, meaning that the blankets are common. Under one.
After thinking, I add:
But they two.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148972
 11.02.2018
It just came to mind...
Dragons are reproduced by telegony.
Here the dragon stole the princess and had sex with her (well, he has a small penis, well, the size is not important). The princess can't fly away from it (well, there are different types there, hue-may), and then the dragon loses the prince (sometimes with a fatal outcome). A prince marries a princess and she gives birth to a dragon (the dragon was the first).
P.S There is a belief that only a virgin can calm a dragon.
P.P.S. I need to ask my mom if she really made me tea today.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148971
 11.02.2018
Sometimes it happens, you sit, concentrated on some work, not distract for a long time, and solving the task, you relax the brain. And then the spontaneous thought arises: How did I get here? Yesterday I was riding from the gorka on the capote from Zaporozhca1! And then just as abruptly releases, and you sit, such, you work.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148970
 11.02.2018
When trainees come from the universe and school, the hospital is noticeably revitalized.
In the departments, repairs immediately begin, nurses tell about the nasty practitioners, in short, fun.
But the most fortunate of us, pathologists, is that students really want to see the opening, and I want to get them out of fainting.
The own history.
and Tuesday. I sit down, knock on the phone, knock on the door.
A student comes in and says:
- We would have it, well, it is, in general, like an opening - a younger colleague
There are no bodies yet. - I answer because in the last two days the sanitary judge had more work than I did.
The student shrugged his head, silenced for 10 seconds and gave a cool phrase:
Aaa, it is a pity! This is here, and when will it be?
I relentlessly take a piece of paper and, trying not to smile, answer:
Grishin from cardio is weak. Probably on Thursday.
The student thanked and left. I laughed and forgot.
On Thursday, I am on holiday, I have a quiet breakfast and here the manager calls me:
- Artem Vladimirovich, explain why I now have students and are demanding to open a living Grishina?
I laughed to tears, and the whole morg, as they say, lay.
The comments:
Katya Krutikova: Well, Morgi is always lying.
by Danil Suhanov
As you want, but in an hour Grishin is on the table!
Irina Grishina: The feeling when you are a Grishina...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna