bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109563
 18.02.2015
Okay okay?

What’s wrong with half money? Such horrors that people need to be deceived.
===
In my humble view, at the cost half, the ass will not give, sorry for my French))
— — —
Give or not give in the ass in this case depends on whether this lady loves in the ass or not. And if she doesn’t love, but gives because you pay her bills, it’s called differently. If you like this model of relationships, the flag is in your hands! )))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №109562
 18.02.2015
- 285th, go to the street X house XX. At the entrance of X fight on the forest cage.

Time has passed

285th on the spot (through laughter)
Three friends are put to death, crawl through a friend, crawl, can’t get up, the tenants and thought they were fighting. They can’t even take their hands off the floor.
Two of them have a passport, check the data: Barsukov Yevgeny Exkovator, 67 years old... Mukusev Vasily Petrovich 69..., the third is simply Vzhik. He is called these two, and he reacts to that name. By the way, call an ambulance, or this horse's horse is now moving, the balls are dropped and is unconscious.
A further brief explanation about the Excavator and Vzhik.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №109561
 18.02.2015
Everyone who sees and everyone who hears has taken note of my words:
Run out of the system, don’t believe in miracles. by admin.
Kesha

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109560
 18.02.2015
V means Verdana.
yyy: ah, and the square means that the font is not supported
xxx: guess, that is, the square of Malevich.
yyy: not that coding?))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №109559
 18.02.2015
A young 31-year-old who can still meet his love.
You can believe this at the age of 18-20...And you tell this goat, who is building a knight out of himself, what she found! Come into the coffee shop beautiful, shining, (already with flowers) and say:"Thank you, I met the prince of my whole life!" And look at the reaction. He will stumble immediately - he will realize that a fool has crashed from the hook. After that, of course, you will have to repair the note at the service. Better a broken heart than a broken heart. Well, and if you will sincerely be happy and congratulate - respect and respect, really a Knight! But again, it will immediately disappear from your life. Because to be a knight with an engaged other man's lady is not sporty and uninteresting.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109558
 18.02.2015
I will open your eyes:

Why did you put up with the guy? The girl, after all, humiliated him very sophisticatedly, in fact, in an open text told him that he was not in bed. I just didn’t say it directly. So it can be understood.
— — —
In fact, girls are not ashamed or embarrassed to be self-satisfied, even if there is a guy. Guys don’t stop shaking somehow when they have girls, so how much worse are we? Sometimes, you understand, you want to discharge, and a man is not at hand. and what? Business for two minutes. About the quality of sex with a man or his sexual abilities it does not say.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109557
 18.02.2015
My father is upset, roaring on everyone. He ordered a shepherd’s beat from the master. Classy, woven out of skin, clicks loudly, but one thing: with the beat came the instruction, one of the points - "do not hang on the beat." He was offended as a child because he was not allowed to play in Indiana Jones.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109556
 18.02.2015
Every war ends in peace. But not forgiveness.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №109555
 18.02.2015
The Question of Life and Death
It was in the Salas Steppes. A film about the Civil War. Summer, heat under forty, dry steppe, deadly sun. Complicated battle scene - the white attack, they are cut off with machine guns. The director of the film, as was initiated at the time, agreed with the nearest military unit, and at dawn a company of soldiers was brought to the site. At three o’clock they were dressed, dressed, armored. Then the assistants placed "whites" in a chain, explained how to fall correctly, and that in no case should you look into the camera.
When the sun began to burn, the director arrived. With pleasure looked at the ready-to-fight mass and asked a ritual question to the brigade of pyrotechnicians:
Cooley, can we start?
No of course! He was cooled by a pyrotechnic. There are no condoms.
It turns out that the main "munition" of the cinematographic warfare consists of a rubber "product N2", into which a red paint is poured and a small plastic electro-detonator with thin wires descends. Then the condom is tied with a node and glued with a patch to the canvas, which in turn is glued with an even wider patch to the body of the "white guard" under the gymnast. At the right moment, a button is pressed, a gram of dust in the plastic detonator explodes, and through the fresh hole in the uniform beautifully fly bloodshed, and sometimes even smoke and flame.
How many times have I told the directors to buy condoms and they don’t itch! I have everything ready,” the pyrotechnician concluded his educational speech, pointing to the headquarters of the funnels, the wire moths and the badge of blue “blood.”
The director instantly boiled and covered the director of the painting together with his administrators with a lot of words that at the time were considered unprinted. Having completed all this with a promise of unimaginable car, he gave a deadline for delivery of condoms - ten minutes.
The administrator Marina, a two-meter-high and eight-pound-weight virgin who was responsible for such a record, instantly found herself in the studio "uazyk". "Wazik" crashed from place and moved in a cloud of white dust to the nearest town. I didn’t have time to slow down near the only pharmacy, as Marina had already taken off on the doorstep. The ranks of old ladies were overwhelmed when a massive girl of greenery-growth broke into the shopping area - steamed, red, stinking, as if running these several kilometers, on the sweaty face of the divorce of gray dust.
A question of life and death! The girl cried, suffocating. I beg you! Immediately, without a turn.
The grandmothers were scared. Marina pushed her head into the window:
I beg you... The question of life and death... Urgently... Hundreds of condoms!
An elderly pharmacist, frightened by screams of life and death more than others, fell into stupor. Mechanically, like a robot, she pulled out a cardboard box from the lower compartment of the closet and began to brake out bags on the shelf, counting them one by one.
The Woman! Marina was desperate. I beg you! Count it faster! There are soldiers waiting for me!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №109554
 18.02.2015
Who said that the well-being of Russians depends on oil and gas revenues? Who are those liars? Income of members of the Gazprom board increased by 43% while profits decreased by 35%.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109553
 18.02.2015
There are vacancies.

Leading PHP programmer
...
6-day working week, the possibility to work beyond working hours.
A flexible schedule.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109552
 18.02.2015
And with many compilers you won’t even understand what happened.
"Attention, the area is not accessible."
"How is it so difficult? There is the same field!"
"Yes and"
"Maybe it’s too smooth... Wear skirts."
"The Mistake of the Right Corner."
"What is the mistake?and "
"Feet: not found."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109551
 18.02.2015
The more I go to the store, the higher the price.
Maybe it’s all because of me? O_O

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №109550
 18.02.2015
This is what bombarded you, man.

The Lady:
It is...
In fact, where do you get these new ones?
___
Dick, mill, there is no other!
It is...
Do you know why? First, because to dynamize guys you start from school. A little later you will be served with a bunch of bugs and a car, and those who have less money and no car - you don't care.
— — — —
If you did not lie with you on the first request - it is not called dynamite. It is not about you at all. She doesn’t have to want you if you want her. Bob and the car? Well, how can you tell... when I was 18, I wasn’t interested in such things, because the bables and cars, of my peers, were only in the grandchildren-puppy sons. They are broken, ah. Tagged in Nafig. But when a man at 30-35 years of age is naked, like a soccer - no savings, nothing achieved in life or everything he earns - instantly flies, it already speaks about his character and mental abilities. In our time, the poor genius are surprisingly few; usually, if he lived half a life, and after the soul not a penny - it means a fool. Why do I need a fool? She found herself a smart programmer: spends little, spends a lot - for family, for the future. It does not disappear, but it disappears. Household, car, occasional restaurants, holiday to Hawaii once a year we drive - all costs half. Each of us would not be able to afford it, but both of us – like two fingers, ah. Oh, how bad and terrible it is to want a beautiful life and work for it!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109549
 18.02.2015
Commander of the operation in Khatyni was SS headquarters Grigory Vassura. The last punisher from this brigade, Katryuk, lives in Canada.
+ and +
If you read the history of the Wikipedia article about Khatyni, you will try to replace the endings of ALL Ukrainian surnames. Vasur there was converted to Vasurova, and so on. The historians do not sleep.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109548
 18.02.2015
If porn is intended for women, then what kind of woman in it is placed in a sheep's position according to the vows of Peter Lujin "for a bit of duty"? Here if you wrote about a boring millionaire, who for her unhealthy fantasies picked up a boy rabbit philologist, then maybe she read :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109547
 18.02.2015
My friend (P) fell sick after the fall. I walked for a few days, endured, and then went to the doctor. It turned out - a cyst, inflammation, you need to cut. From the evening correspondence to VK:
Q: There is, it turns out, such a congenital abnormality - the cyst of the copper. If I understood it correctly, it was such a very small hole under the tail. And here is the infection and greetings. I also have an anomaly – a hole. There is no tail, no tail. The logic.
Q: Oh, I know about myself the verse: "Ura, ura - in the ass of a hole!"
Q: In short, the operation was successful. Only the child hurt, all three minutes mothered and apologized to the doctor for the mat, then mothered again. I lay on the floor with my ass on top, and on top of it was an ice cream bean. He told me to apply cold. The cat came, but it was heavy and not cold - she drove away.
Q: I have an interview tomorrow. How do I get there, I ask, will I go? She found time, and could not wait for two days.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109546
 18.02.2015
What do you think of the 50 Shades of Grey movie?
YYY: Leviathan asleep at all?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109545
 18.02.2015
Ahha :
__________
here here :
-
This is:
In short :
All babies are stupid fools.
All men are goats and fools.
Forget me, this holy man.
*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Let’s include the logic – banal, girl:
Grandma is an angel. My mother is not like that, her father is not in her soul - besides, he is not a goat, and he is no longer a fool. My brother is a miracle. I love the future husband.
Not all are bad people.
You just don’t value anyone around you.
Girl, 24 years old Higher education, red diploma. I work in the IT sector.
----------
You have not noticed the sarcasm in the quotation.
___________________________________________

and did not help neither age, neither red diploma, nor work in the IT sphere, motivates - fucking :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109544
 18.02.2015
Completely erased from the head the details of the sleep, only one dialogue does not let go of its mystery on the second day:
What a delicious hummus. What do you put in it?
We have a secret ingredient.
– to?
The Greek.

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