3 people called me a Jew
2 people said I am James Bond
2 people named Boyarski
Two people named Michael Jackson
1 said to me "O! by Antonio Banderas"
I bought a shit hat.

Medvedev banned the export of Kuril nurses to Japan
Japanese in panic: total stocks of Kava will be enough for 3 months

c) the

There is no oil in Egypt. 95 - 18 rubles / liter
There is oil in Russia. 95 - 28 rubles / liter
Something does not break?

Child 5 years:
and Mom. by Mam. Let me be Shrek, you are Princess Fiona, and you are Pope Oslo.

The guys came to me...
Russia is needed by all only as a source of resources, in essence a great career. As with any resource mining, it requires workers and a few managers. Higher education is either very expensive or not of high quality.
Protecting raw materials is the business of the owner of the career, not of the workers, so our army is becoming weaker.
Workers should work, not deal with personal affairs. Therefore, the taxes on private property are made so that it is easier to give than to hold.
As Margaret Thatcher said: "Economically it is advisable to keep around 10 million people in Russia, there is no need for it."
I think it’s funny (grammatical divorce)
It will be interesting, I will continue.
cats, cats and avatars

Yes, we in Belarus generally quietly move from strawberries to meat!And not because life is improving, but because kg of strawberries 15000 rubles, and kg of meat 13000 rubles.

I have a cat and a Persian cat for more than a year. I recently told them, say, let’s do it, I need cats, as much as I can roll on the sofas. Worked, walked around the apartment, searched, smelled, all interrupted...

The forum discusses the book "Alice's Diary" - the story of a teenage girl who took drugs and ended up dying. In general, strong anti-drug advertising.
One of the recalls:

xxx: read the diary 3 times and every time I wanted to smash myself. strong story

......
If Superman is so brave, why is he wearing his red trousers over his pants?
Inside there are regular trousers, then a trick, then a local reinforcement of armor in a vulnerable place.In tanks, the front armor is always thicker than in the on-board or feed projection.
...
Why are planes not made of the same material as black boxes are made for them?
The body of the black box corresponds in strength to the content of the film. The body of the aircraft also corresponds in strength to the human content.
If the word is incorrectly written in the dictionary, how do you know it?
See at least two other authors in the dictionaries.
When a car is driving, does the air rotate inside the wheels?
It smokes, but slower than the tire itself.
The cat always falls on the legs, and the sandwich with oil down. And what happens if you put a sandwich on the back of the cat with oil up and drop it?
The cat will fall with its legs down, and the bruderbood will not fall at all - it will remain attached to the cat's back.
What color is a chameleon when he looks in the mirror?
The background reflected in the mirror.
...
Why do kamikazes wear helmets?
In the helmet headsets through which he receives the command which ship to attack.

xxx: my brother is such a brother.. sits, orets "Docyaja", I fit, he is so sad "you have been 18 years", I thought it will be a talk from the series "you are growing so fast".... but here followed the feil "You are already 18, come out, buy me a beer" oO

Why do we have such a biting cat?
YYY: He hopes that from his bite we and you will turn into cats.

The night is still a very special time: with the onset of silence, you can clearly hear how the cockroaches choke in your head.

This is the last time we translate time.
It must be noted – noted.
Even if another host comes, he may come back.
Even if there will be a new president.

Automotive Machines
The man pressed his mercy to the service center.Start checking for VIN - the nifiga can not understand what mercy. And when they sent all the data to Germany, they were answered that such measures are not yet issued. It turned out that this car was stolen from a test site in Germany." And I remember this:
In the 1990s, 5 unusual cars appeared in Vladivostok. It was the nineties Toyota Mark-2 in the hundred body (it is about like some 5th in the body of Priora) and also in the configuration of a spacecraft. A lot of people slowly raised on the resale of these unique cars, but the biggest grandparents got a boy, who then just started to drive cars from Japan. When he in one of his first times came to the country of the Rising Sun for buses, to him came solid such babysitters and offered to buy for a penny unusual cars, and even offered help in sending cars abroad. These babysitters were from Yakuza, which, in punishment of one Toyota top manager, stole prototype cars (!) from the design office. These prototypes are still rolling on the roads of our country.

From the Women’s Forum:

-And also conducted a survey and found out that all maniacs in childhood loved to watch cartoons.

How did this survey happen? All the maniacs gathered together and asked. Or are you going to the street with the maniacs?

<Red> The Big Bang!
<Red> Americans like to joke about Jesus, well there a girl is drawn and signed by Christina. How did this Christian translate?
<Red> "Jesus’ Day"
<Red> So you see the prices: Beef, Lamb, Jesus...

Judging by the ability to bend, the cats of Kamasutra are five times thicker than ours.

Game: Today I am pleased to have a hair mask (kefir, cocoa, henna) I come back from the bathroom, and my husband is sitting in the kitchen and my mask!!! It is (

Who wrote here that “I love you” after 10 years of marriage is strange. I got up at 7 a.m. today (Sunday) and got myself in order, and at 10 a.m. I’m going to wake my sleeping husband up with morning sex and coffee to bed. 7 years of marriage. Don’t be bored, we make the story ourselves.

Artmuz
Domestic cars are famous for being cold in them in the winter than outdoors