bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25853
 11.02.2010
News from the news "GAZ warned Russians about the release of their new passenger car" sounds somehow threatening.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №25852
 11.02.2010
and hello. How did Lenin go?
and hello. Lenny did not pass, Lenny came and stayed on PMJ.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25851
 11.02.2010
Depending on whether they lay a plate or lay, prices range from $ 10 to $ 50 per square. M is
and c)

[ + 52 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25850
 11.02.2010
In Germany, a man robbed a slot machine room, threatening with a cup of hot coffee:
With a cup of hot coffee he had just ordered, the robber forced a 26-year-old girl to open the box and fled with the money.
In 2007, an American carried out an assault on an ice cream store with an office stepler. In the same year in Georgia, two girls robbed a bank without guns at all.

[ + 75 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25849
 11.02.2010
Our build a strategic nuclear submarine under the name... "Saint Nicholas"
Who doesn't know - St. Nicholas in the Zagorje is called St. Nicholas - He is Santa Claus.
Megatons of light and heat. The celebration is coming!

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №25848
 11.02.2010
A strange paradox I noticed in you.
YYY :?? to
xxx: monthly with your girlfriend, and you become nervous)))

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №25847
 11.02.2010
I go to the metro. In front of a woman (speaking to herself). Capturing a piece of phrase
Am I sick? Am I sick? Who did you choose as president?

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №25846
 11.02.2010
I went to a well-known store and needed some connectors. Dialogue with the seller:

I need such connections.
Q: Unfortunately it is not available.
I: I know, I am on order
Q: Okay, let’s form it now.
I: Delivery time 1-2 weeks, as written on the website?
P is yes.
Q: Can’t you do it faster?
P: It can be.
I: And what do I need to do for that?
Q: And you will ask.
Q: Can I do it faster?
P: It can be. You can pick up Monday at 9 a.m.
I: O_o

That is how we work. No joke is boring :)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №25845
 11.02.2010
Well, why is it Wednesday...God, how I want Friday. I want today to be Friday. God, let it be Friday today.
Your wish has been taken into consideration and placed in line for execution. Waiting time is 2 days.

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25844
 11.02.2010
Here the cartoon look, India-USA, "Romeo from the edge".
Pindets, they are Hindus.
At the seventh minute, a bunch of wandering dogs stands on their back legs and... right, starts singing and dancing.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №25843
 11.02.2010
Popular sign: wife left the house - to waste...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №25842
 11.02.2010
About Hooligans and Calculator

In the warm state, I live with a friend, a woman of old age. Once a long time ago, when she was not even old, but young years, they got an apartment here in a new building. The districtman was the one, Troparevo, straight from the subway went through the park, through the woods. There were no criminal records at the time, but they were completely replaced by rumors about bandits, hooligans, bodies found in the forest park zone, robbed, raped and tortured victims, and other horrors.

Scary and shorter. She adjusted not to walk alone. There will be a man who inspires confidence from the outside, who is on the way, and slowly after him a chop-chop-chop. It is not so scary.

And here one day they go, a man of some sort with a wallet just in front, she sits behind with a bag so as not to fall behind, and here I meet four. It looks like nothing frozen. And they stop the man, and begin to harass him there somehow traditionally. Type a how long, and do you not have to smoke, and you hole in the hat at all.

She has nowhere to go, to turn late, and she hides her breath by the edge of this sculptural group, all the time waiting for a scream or other unpleasant development of events. However, the hooligans, taking her look, said nothing and continued the cultural conversation with the man with the portfolio.
When she realized that the danger had passed and remained behind, fear passed in her, and the female curiosity and compassion for the man, on the contrary, awakened. She stopped behind the tree and began to observe from a distance. In this case, he can run away and call for help. It was she who thought so.

The events between them developed quite traditionally. Whether the time the hooligans did not like, whether the cigarettes were not the same, but a fight began. Or maybe not even a fight, but just a beat. In short, the man was dropped and began to pin his legs. And here my acquaintance, Love, by the way, is called, instead of rushing for help, shouting “AAAAAA!!!” And with his bag, he jumped out of the tree, rushed to this sculptural group, and began to mindlessly stumble the hooligan with this bag.

Lucy, a fragile little lady, has worked as a quiet accountant all her life.
And at that moment she was just preparing a report, and took a little homework. Responsible because very much. And in her bag she had just that report and a mechanical calculator of the Soviet times called Phoenix or Felix, I don’t know.

In fact, this calculator saved them. To counteract the Soviet calculator in the hands of the simple Soviet accountant to the hooligans was simply nothing! Having got a couple of times where it hit a heavy mechanism, they embarrassedly and in horror retreated.

Lubanya and the man brought themselves in order, defended minor bodily injuries, and went home. Always agreed on the road to come back together. Word for word, we got married. Both of them are still in retirement.

Yes, and the calculator was very strong and did not hurt. If you have worried about it.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25841
 11.02.2010
We have control today.
Can I use a calculator?
I can.
What about Bradys tables?
I can. So, children, write the subject of the control. Cancellation of the Fortress
The right.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25840
 11.02.2010
Did you know that 7367 people with religious views are in contact with a peasant?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №25839
 11.02.2010
Questionnaire from the social network. Tagged with "interest"
"I’m interested in many, but I do it slowly! I wonder: is there life (intelligent is also considered) on other planets, how the pyramids were built, why gin fulfils 3 wishes, how to obtain immortality and power, why there are cookies on the dark side, why the end of the world has not come three times, why girls do not let touch their breasts at once, and boys are not delighted with such a proposal at all, why there is a lie if it is used so rarely, I'm curious if anyone other than the intelligence services reads this, I pass on a greeting to dad, mom, brother and Irchik.

[ + 71 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25838
 11.02.2010
There was a fun event in the universe today. In a couple of materials. A student of the 70s told how when buying household appliances (noise, fork, etc.) to determine stainless steel it or not. The dialogue is as follows:... Go to the seller and ask for a certificate of the product. If you see that the chromium content is less than 13%, then with a wild whisper, tick it in the side of the fork and say that it is not stainless steel.

[ + 91 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25837
 11.02.2010
Stranger: What are you doing?
Electronics: You will not understand.
The stranger: Why then? Why am I stupid?
Do you know what a magnetron is?
Stranger: Yes, a vacuum HVC device, and what?
Girl, can I invite you to the movie?! to

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №25836
 11.02.2010
xxx: Filled a psychological test at work (hz for what purposes), there was a point "which insult affects you most?". Everyone in this column has the word "capricorn" or "foolish" and only one person has written that he is most offended by the phrase "Lamo Comatous".
X: Guess who?
xxx is admin?
xxx is

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25835
 11.02.2010
People!! Eat the snow!! to
Help me find the keys!

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №25834
 11.02.2010
We are at the box office in the supermarket, my husband, my daughter (3 years old).
My mom bought a chocolate.
I: Your daughter can’t eat chocolate, or her ears will soon break away.
Daughter: We will glue them back. Please buy a chocolate.
Husband: Let’s buy bananas and apples, otherwise there’s not enough money for chocolate.
When will you find a rich lover, or what kind of poor?
Everyone around me barely contains laughter. The husband turns to me and seriously says, “Well, I gave up, right?”

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