bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138409
 02.02.2017
As a person who has freely travelled with a counterbass in public transport for more than 10 years, would like to ask, and what’s wrong with your bags and backpacks?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138408
 02.02.2017
Vasily: And the tricolor will work if I place the antenna while in the house to the window?
Basel: Until the weekend
Dmitry: Yes it will be.
Dmitry: Tricolor, generally speaking, fuck if you have an antenna and where it stands. The company is big enough, so it doesn’t break down.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №138407
 02.02.2017
>>> The developers were not even lazy to realize the physics of the male genitals.

Apparently, somebody jokes for the sake of drawing x * y. And when the bosses burned - forced to make a line of models and animate.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138406
 02.02.2017
How was it before? You sit in the sorting room, read labels on all kinds of business pots: English, German, French, Russian. of Europe!
And now - ondiruši, salamali mahleti, alyn baba ugly... :(

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138405
 02.02.2017
Review of the face mask:
It is super! It is a miracle! The face as if not mine) I am delighted! And also my husband liked it, because I applied it and on my lips too and 40 minutes of silence!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138404
 02.02.2017
I met a girlfriend with a guy. Worked in the neighborhood. Very good, intelligent, eloquent and charming, in her words. But she had a "bik" at the expense of literacy. “Podkovana” was in Russian for “five”. And everything was fine when they communicated “live.” And then she was sent on a business trip, a correspondence with him began. He said, “Hello, what are you doing? “Do you sleep? "What are you quiet" and so on. it was crazy annoying) And she told him in a telephone conversation that all this is written with a soft sign!!! Sleep, be quiet and act. And all in that spirit. He was upset and did not write for a few days. Then he said, “Hello baby.”

The lesson was won.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138403
 02.02.2017
The drummer must know and love the entire rhythm section, including even the bass "Ural" ;)
By the way, needed?
The Strike Instrument, Hule
In other words, they just want to hide.
I still have somewhere in the depths of the warehouse. It has remained since school. If it is not a pity of fingers and there is a problem to find an ancient Soviet, Czech or DDR combo, you can even play it. Yank or Civil Defense. It just sounds like you’re trying to play it.
You can take them and fuck them. I think that’s his only purpose.
A good tool, short
The strings, though, I pulled from the violin, and sixteen years ago, but the quality of the sound was not affected. And the fact that in sixteen years the strings were pulled up only twice, too. On the quality of the sound of this wonderful bass can have little effect.
On the other hand, this bass has had a good impact on my musical preferences. Because I ended up trying to get some decent sounds out of it, and I started playing the beat.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138402
 02.02.2017
When you wait for the best, you can miss the best.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №138401
 02.02.2017
The story of yesterday’s car racing. On the contrary, I have a funny story.
90 year old. End of April. The first time I was going to take a five-year-old daughter to the sea to Turkey (warm up after the winter cold). Arrived at the “River Station”, well, further standard, the bus trip to “Sharika”. Sit down and go. Only the bus moves more and more slowly, and at the end stops at all - Leningradka. Before the reconstruction. and all. The trunk does not want to move completely. In 5 minutes, the entire bus "catches" in which buttock muscle we hit. Screams like: “Our flight registration is on!” (and then it was 2 hours before departure) and “I’m already late!” collide in the air. The whole thing is that there is only one tiny possibility left - the right row, but a very narrow "foot", there barely slip through the lighthouses. People begin to leave the bus. Everyone is crowded on the side, trying to stop at least something. We go out, my daughter and I, and we understand – it’s a matter of seams. The child promised. For the first time in life – a foreign country, the sea, the sun and so on. My daughter is almost crying. In case we passed 25 meters ahead and we also try to swallow with pins, say, save, bring.
and here! A collector’s machine brakes around us, a guard in uniform rises out of it and asks, “To the airport?” “Come down, we go there!” by a bird, a whale, a fly (or who else is shusty there?) put into the car. We go without believing in our happiness. The child called the camouflaged guards “super ninja turtles” and asked to touch the machine (or what they had there). The most sociable asks, “What time is the flight?” At five o’clock, the registration begins. He says to the driver, “Dima, let’s!” Included a syrene, a flashlight and “toxic”. of your division. For the first (and probably the last) time in my life, I was moving in a collector’s car with all the pribadabases, and a few cars (most of them left behind, in traffic jams) left behind the road. We had time and passed all the controls quite calmly.
Thank you guys. There are no real men in Russia.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138400
 02.02.2017
Twitter taught me how to express my thoughts in 140 characters.
This is good, but you could write a little more here. Diploma anyway.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138399
 02.02.2017
Don’t think about eating a delayed baby breakfast “Alphabet” (all in the form of letters).

There is a verbal diarrhea.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138398
 02.02.2017
Common-minded people need prushes, otherwise the presumption of hypocrisy comes into effect.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138397
 02.02.2017
As a child, I think all mommy strictly punished strangers not to open the door. I am 7 years old, alone at home. When I knock on the door, I run to look in the eye and see an unknown uncle. The bearded uncle with a drunk voice demanded to open the door to him, saying, “That’s me, Tanjuha! “” Yes, my name is Tanya, but I didn’t open the door. A drunk uncle was sitting under the door until evening until his mother came back from work.

It turned out that it was my brother who returned from the army, and we have 13 years difference with him. He still reminds me of it, and my mother said I did the right thing.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138396
 02.02.2017
Players in Conan Exiles were allowed to choose the size of the genitals, and the creators of Final Fantasy released a festive set for the anniversary of the series.

Developers often allow players to customize the appearance of game characters. But no one seems to have gone so far as the authors of Conan Exiles. The first users of the game discovered that, among other things, in the game you can choose the size of the sexual organ of the male characters. The developers were not even lazy to realize the physics of the male genitals.

And yet...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138395
 02.02.2017
Talk to my wife before bed:
Let’s play the telepaths.
to go.
Read my thoughts!
-...Kolbaaska... Rhyubby... Fuck, our cat is burning up again!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138394
 02.02.2017
AlCat: We have a cat from the morning playing, running, throwing on everyone. Father Shats came from the store, took off the coff, threw on the couch. The cat lay down on her with such a look as if she had caught and eaten the bat, and now lies on the skin of the defeated enemy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138393
 02.02.2017
Discussions in the Hague
SADKO>... if modern monks were to be forced to write the Orthodox code in the great Russian language, it would be benevolent and useful to the power!
Alexeyco> We’ve talked about this before. Daemon ==> ladies and gentlemen. root ==> Swarog (it would be more reasonable to use Makosh, but I fear it will cause confusion with Makosh).
Let’s say nginx ==> a strawberry.
God’s name, God’s name, turn back
Then, for example, to Cyrillize the FS...
$ name /etc/first.k/archive work
I forgot, here’s another option.
$ where
$ who
God what is happening.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №138392
 02.02.2017
(Image: a couple is sitting in a room, a third is watching them behind the window. She is "Don’t be afraid, it’s a marketer who collects our personal data to show you relevant advertising")
xxxx> and
I think, in the eyes of marketers, I am myself a seven punk of eight people.
yyyy> yyyy
yyyy> one of whom is an amateur gay porn?
xxxx> yes, by itself

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138391
 02.02.2017
Career self-driving... It sounds like an office slang. And let’s call the Downshippers, like in Russian?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138390
 02.02.2017
Freo: In general, it is very easy to make a useful and even motivating video from porn. It is enough at the end of each film to insert participants coming out with happy persons from the nursery with a baby in their arms.
The whole film, two dozen blacks rape an unfortunate girl on the underground parking lot, and in the end, the whole crowd happily masks the camera in the nursery! and :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna