XXX: How did these 30 year old virgins get? Is it so hard to take off the ass of the dot and go out with friends? Oh yeah, the dogs and the other series games have no friends (((

Shut up, my mommy sympathizes.



YYY: I am right now standing on the street.

It is cold here, fucking.

But your plan doesn’t seem to work.

So far no one has given me.

I continue to observe.



XXX: They say there need to talk to someone, but I didn’t check.



YYY: It does not work.

I talked to the gardener.

It is cold.

No one has given it before.

They buried Twitter and broke two Runets.

I work on the acceptance and issuance of orders in the service center for the repair of audio equipment. We work with customers on trust: that is, took the device, looked at it, said the cost of repair, and if the customer agrees - repair, when issuing we demonstrate working capacity, take money, write a receipt with a guarantee. The scheme is quite functional, but for no less than 20 years in six of our workshops (previously there were so many) there were several unpleasant cases: three times the customer refused to pay for the repairs made and left, and recently paid six thousand instead of the agreed eight.
Last week it happened again. He delivered a set of vintage preamplifiers, amplifiers and record losers. The preemptor we repaired him, the loser was prevented, the amplifier was correct. By phone agreed on 5+2 thousand for everything. I came to pick up: I connected everything to him, showed him how it works, he himself checked, says, everything is fine. While I was writing the receipt, he raised the forks from the roofs, picked up the whole structure from the table and was about to leave. I said to him, “What about money?In response to “What kind of money?” and turns to leave, loudly adding, “Well, bring me to court.”
While I thought about what to answer, or rather accepted another fool encountered on the way and thought about the transition to prepayment (it is to write long, the thoughts blurred for a second or two), the thunder of the player who fell on the tiled floor, and behind him and the preamplifier, which the player pulled behind.
I look at the sockets and see that idiot confused the forks, and instead of the player turned off my column, and when he took two steps, the cable stretched and the player fell, pulling out the preamp that was underneath it.
From the damage I was able to notice a broken toner, split into 4-5 pieces of the cover and its broken fixation from the body, and the preamp has a decently woven front left corner and broken glass of the front panel.
He began to scream that it was me specifically, which I quietly pointed to the camera directed just at us, after which he also quietly approached the door, opened it and stood waiting for him, crawling on the floor, to collect his remains and clean up.

The rise in prices has not slowed down.
They decided to slow down Twitter.

I used to work for one such small provider. Night shift of technical support. If there was a malfunction on some node (there was no internet) and electricists a lack of power there (well, for example), then my officials were to call the electricist first to take a gasoline generator and 3. 14 quickly arrived at the scene. If he did not respond (and the time could be 3 o'clock at night), there was a backup contact "double". Okay I call.



Both are unavailable. According to the algorithm, I have to call my boss and describe the problem. is unavailable. Then there is a call to the head of the territorial level. is unavailable. And, according to the same algorithm, the call goes to some boss there.

So, at 3 o’clock at night, I call him on my cell phone and say the following:

“Hi,” says Deftman, a second line service officer. Since you are not sleeping anyway, we have happened here... (further all the situation).



In the morning my sleepy boss came and looked at me for a long time in silence.

I was fired in a week and found something to do. I don’t regret it at all, because I found the best job right away.

I remember Ryu :)

One day I found myself in an unfamiliar company in a cafe. I looked at the prices and tried hard to look like I wasn’t hungry. Then I talked about travel, and I talked about my plans. A couple sitting in front of me, having ordered a meal for a thousand for twelve, suddenly says:

You are rich! We cannot afford such travels.

I think different people define differently what they can and can’t afford.

It was about 94 years ago. My school friend Dimka and I had fun after school by clinging to the trams, driving two or three stops until we were whispered. So, one day, in the evening, a tram driver whispered to us, in general, we ran away and at this moment three adult men approached us, grabbed and pulled in the direction of the Volga universe car (previously such in a fast ride) only this car was grey. Dimka's friend was already engaged in professional big tennis at the time, by some miracle he turned and fled to the hole on Sun Yat Seno Street (Ufa) he was pursued by one of these men but did not catch up. At this point, I was almost caught in the car, I wept and spoke that there is a force even under the car of the murderers. To my happiness, men ran from the tram stop and literally kicked me off (thanks greatly to these uncles) put me in the tram and I left home in panic. Of course, I didn’t say anything to my mother because she insulted me. But that night my friend’s mother called me and told me everything. I still remember my mom crying a long time and I was trembling. Since then, we have not been on the train anymore.

It was in student years. Practice in neurology. We are invited to bring a patient from the resuscitation center to our department (5th floor).

We and the same group - okay, we go for the catwalk, which we are told not to. We are so – well. Let’s go and think like no catch. We go down to the resuscitation, there we are welcomed by a couch with the patient, and next to the doctor stands with a smile on his face:

Take the light version!

And the man with no hands, no legs, and the voice itself), they wrapped him in a slope, and sent him as in a hamac to move to the 5th floor. Everyone liked the eye.

When my wife got into an accident (by her inattention), I, knowing that she was in panic, first asked how she was. Was not hurt. She was not hurt. Explained what to do next. His voice did not raise at all. She said it would be a lesson for her future.

I go home tonight. My wife does not talk to me. I try to find out what happened. After a while he says:

You did very badly. You were the only one who bothered me when I found out I was in a car crash. Neither mom, nor dad, nor grandmother, nor colleagues at work did anyone argue! No one is fighting except you.

Well yes yes yes. It is a pity that neither my mom nor my grandmother or my colleagues did not go back to the repair.

Small men rarely become big bosses. This is a part of the big sludges.

Fifteen years ago, in my past beautiful life, full of terrariums, a young man and I agreed to become bird-eating spiders. Lasiodora parahybana, if anyone is interested. I have a commodity - a boring lush lady with a height of legs of 22 cm, his merchant - a petty virgin, consisting of one leg and swollen from desire pedipalps.
I lived on the last floor of the 5th floor. To me, only on foot. As I remember, it was Saturday. The neighbor’s daughter was getting married. Clearly, all the stairs, starting from the first floor, are decorated with balls, pink ribbons, flowers and empty bottles of champagne. And before entering our floor is a huge stretch "Happiness to you, young people!"
And here’s how much water has leaked, and still the picture in front of my eyes: I open the door – there’s a completely stunned boy, a garden with a bird-eater in his hands. And almost with tears in the voice: "Sorry for God's sake, you're out as prepared, and I didn't even bring the cake! It’s just our first time.”

c) Svetlana Kotelkova

A panda eats an average of 12 hours a day. Man in self-isolation mode eats like a panda. This is called a pandemic.

I thought here that I have a lot of free time, and money somehow not a lot, and threw the ad on Avito. And since I am a crazy specialist of a broad profile, I have chosen the appropriate specialization "Diversity" (in multiple numbers because I am not the only one, there are a couple of colleagues with the same skills). We can perform a wide range of tasks that do not require special skills. Gone and forgot. In a week call:

Are there workers?

I am talking:

Yes, and what should I do?

Take the machine out of the house and load it into the car.

And we just walked around the city with a friend, so we decided, “And that’s not?” We agreed a price and went. There is a small retreat. A friend's car Mazda 6, not new but in the last body, and since we were riding on things not related to work, we were dressed decently.

Coming to the meeting place, the client stands on an old gazelle. I shouted out of the car:

Hi, it is us!

Who are we?

We are loads!

He is a little surprised:

Are you loaders?? to

Well yes, and what?

I just made a mistake with my profession.

The machine was thrown, the money earned.

My childhood was spent in the 90s in a small village in the middle of the taiji. Then much less cared about all age ratings and other heresy. I then watched all kinds of movies with my parents, including Secret Materials, Predator, Alien, Shakma and so on, and of course I was afraid of all the wildness that was shown there. And every time I was afraid, my dad said about the following: "We have 40 weeks of winter standing, no chupacabra will survive in our forest in the winter" and that reassured me.

And then I, for some reason alone, watched John Carpenter’s 1982 film Something.

Parking of one shopping center, a peak hour. The cars are very tight.

I go back and touch a little behind the car.

I go out and see what’s there: and there my room frame is broken and the frame of that car’s number is broken and the dirt on both bumpers “harmed.”

There are no cracks and the paint is not damaged.

The only thing, my machine is dark, the victim is white and there are a couple of strips left on his bumper where dirt slipped.

From the second machine comes first the uncle. Everyone looks at that too.

I apologize and offer immediately on the spot to give money to paint a bumper + a little above. The price was known because after the purchase of the car, the bumper painted. Although, objectively, there would have all solved polishing, but it has collapsed - so you need to correct it.

My uncle looked at it too and agreed.

But here it came out, more precisely she.

The lady came out of the car, the whole police officer (it was before the circus with the horses) and began to whisper (right, guys, really whisper in hysteria), that I broke her car, that she will now call and everyone will sit, that I am 3, 14 full.

Uncle also turned on the rear: no one in place, only we call the mints.

Hour of Peak at TC. People walk by. Idiot, of course, everyone considers me and everyone approaches me with the words: "Well, you give money to a man and go, what are you standing? “”

Everyone had to explain that the police officer promised to arrest me and, in general, against the decision on the spot, insisted on calling for reinforcement.

The support came to us for a long time.

Around even gathered suffering to spectacles citizens, who, having learned all the history and my willingness to give a bag of gold, went to that car, but, having met the lady of the police, went away and twisted their fingers at the chest.

Luckily, after two hours, approximately, goats passed by and, noticing an unhealthy crowd of people, came to help: photographed, gathered data and invited from the morning to a group of adventure analysis.

They departed.

Little spoiler: There was rain at night, heavy rain.

In the morning I came to the group first, while drawing up the documents once again told me why I "pulled" money to settle on the spot. The police officer also stumbled.

Then came the victim (one, without a police lady) and we went to photograph the injury.

Approach, a police officer looks at the bumper: and there is not even a strip of dirt. A crack on the frame.

Police officer to uncle: "You have no injuries, there will be no affairs" (the phrase was more protocol, but the general sense was such).

I said, “You can be free.”

“If you want, go to court.”

and all. I was not even excited.

My uncle said to me, “You offered a bag of money yesterday, can you pay it? “”

Porzal, explained that the way to the tablespoon for lunch and left.

No one filed a case against me, but I suspect that I ruined the man’s life and Madame didn’t forgive him.

My husband and I decided to jump with a parachute. Said is done. We took the course of youth jumping in Dosaaf. There were a lot of young people there. Have fun time. Before jumping, those who do not have a driver's license had to bring a certificate from a narcologist and a psychiatrist. I was unrighteous then. With the narcologist, everything went smoothly, but here is the psychiatrist... I go into the office, there is a young doctor. I didn't even have time to say for anything - where I need a certificate, the "attack" began. I am a doctor, I am a doctor.

B is Hi! How does he jump?

I am a good day! E... what?

How does he jump?

I am who?

W is he!

The fucking! What is it? Check of what? Who is? What to do? Am I crazy?

I am who he is?

I looked around. There is no one in the office except us.

A young man who was with you.

I am where?

It turned out that the doctor was with us on the courses of a young jump, and I, in love and absorbed by the parachute landing, did not remember her.

This is not the case with unhappy patients. You can really go crazy.

Every time you take all of your salary from your bank card, somewhere in the world there is a sad one, Herman Graff.

Parental Chat

When my friend Leisha, a father of three children, gave his daughter to first class for the first time, he was immediately pushed into a newly created parental chat.
Losha cooked a tea, armed himself with a cake with cabbage, put on glasses and went deeper into reading. In the chat ran some active mommies, of those who always know everything, even knowing what will be the number of the bus, on which the guys will go to meet the dawn in eleven years.
...Dear friends, there are three topics on the agenda:
We have to give 800 rubles to the school.
Next week, on the 15th of Tamara Mikhailovna's birthday. I offer a gift of 1000 rubles. Until the mind adds what to give her, what she loves. have to think.
We need to elect the chairman of the parent committee of the class.
Who has any thoughts and ideas about this? Please speak out.
Lozha wiped off the teak, wiped out his hands from the fat cake, pushed the keyboard to himself and began to speak, as they asked:
Dear friends, in my modest opinion, it is too early to give 800 rubles to the guard. If you allow me to contact the Department of Education myself, I will find out in detail and report to you: how, how much money is allocated for the protection of schools, who is personally responsible for the allocated funds and how they are spent?
I think that 1000 rubles for a birthday is quite possible. What Tamara Mikhailovna loves, I don't even imagine, but nothing terrible, until the 15th, there is still a lot of time, we will have time to figure out. The most important thing now is not this, but what I love, and I love inflatable fishing boats with all my heart. First, because Tamara Mikhailovna's birthday is 15th, and I'm already after tomorrow 11th. And yet, somehow it’s not good that we forgot to include Tamara Mikhailovna in our chat, she’s still a great leader. And then, how will she be able to drop down on gifts for our birthday? There is disregard and discrimination against the teacher.
It is necessary to say that one half of the parents immediately put Loshina candidate for the post of chairman of the parental committee, and the other, friendlyly voted for him.
In the past eight years, we can count on the fingers of one hand the cases when the parents of this class collected money for something at least, while they had everything; and excursions and guard and linoleum and everything-everything, even curtains.
However, no one has ever learned what the classy director, the soundtrack and the director of the school likes. True, and Lecha remained without an inflatable boat.

Discrimination on Growth also exists. If someone low asks the high to give him the goods from the top shelf in the supermarket, because he can not reach, he will give with a smile. But try asking someone low to give you the goods from the bottom shelf, as he doesn’t need to bend so much.

Xxx: I remember working with a friend in a good company. But at some point, problems with paying wages began. The circumstances forced me to go to another company, and my friend was persuaded to stay, raising his salary one and a half times. After that, he was paid half a time.