From the 4pda forum.

xxx: Hello, such a problem was drawn, I am on vacation in Vietnam, when the tablet turns dark the screen to zero.There is such a miracle only happening in the day in the bright sun, in the evening and in the morning everything is okay.Maybe anyone has encountered?(nexus7 wifi 16 hyogenmod)

YYY: Do you accidentally look in your glasses on the tablet? :D

xxx: A younger brother came here to me and said, “I want to be a gay designer!”" When I saw my, gently speaking, surprised look, he knocked my nose into the note that opened the game design article. by Facepalm

We sit at work. Oh, if we were in pairs now... We’t be in pairs now!

Message has arrived:
"Hello!I put shells on order and are available.Production Turkey.All 400 rubles."

XXX is Blood. Water in Blood! A creature that breaks out. The Blood!! to
YYY: Again I ask: Will you be present at the birth?! to

Talk to a friend (D)
Yesterday I broke up with a girlfriend.
I: Yeah, you didn’t have water with her! What happened?
D: She asked me to tell her a story before sleeping.
I: Well what are you?
D: And I told her the story of a steam car that was able to...

Ekaterina (14:06:41 4/03/2013)
Instead of smoking cigarettes, buy a smart book every month.
Wicked (14:06:50 4/03/2013)
her
Wicked (14:07:21 4/03/2013)
It is better to postpone the apartment.
Ekaterina (14:07:33 4/03/2013)
to theirs?
Wicked (14:08:00 4/03/2013)
Of course, on his
Ekaterina (14:11:01 4/03/2013)
Well, if you take the average price of an apartment in Moscow, at 2 million rubles, and based on the fact that with cigarettes you accumulate an average of 14,400 per year, then you can buy an apartment in 139 years.
Wedding (14:11:30 4/03/2013)
I can give up something else.
Ekaterina (14:11:38 4/03/2013)
There is for example

From the Heroes 3:
Do you think Armageddon’s clone is better than Titan’s gladius?
Wow, I have to believe.
Zzzz: I think you are fucking happy!

A: Well, sorry F., for unforeseen circumstances, I had to interrupt the conversation and drink vodka.
F: Even my father can’t, just asked... Man of the year, bl*t.

Justin Bieber was not allowed to attend Justin Bieber’s concert in Russia because he was 16+

I was sitting in the salon yesterday. In the corner make a 30-year-old woman very full with a pig face. Next to me is a 55-year-old man.
Woman: (cocky) Behold, I even when I go to the toilet at work, paint my lips, suddenly the fate of my meeting!! to
Man: (comments quietly) Okay with such a face she will only meet paper in the toilet

What can you want from people who come to work in a T-shirt with the inscription: "From work horses will die..."

I was at the show at 2 p.m. :D

I was at 2 a.m. at the furman’s guy.

Nihua to Myself

I saw your double.

Ahha, what was I in?

In the trolleybus

xxx: I went to the doctor, I understood his underground name.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
YYY : Why?
XXX: Because you really get to fuck him!

I saw a video recorder in the store called Sauron. The Gods of Piero

Husband on guard. We agreed to go with friends to nature, drink champagne and look out of the car on the beautiful snow. We are fortunate to have one girl who combines such ideal qualities as a car and doesn’t drink at all.
The evening. We go to the store. I am given N-a sum of money for champagne and snack. I choose for a long time, pay, go out of the store and put on the cap so that the snow for the shelf does not fall, I sit back on the back seat of the car.
In the cabin it is dark, I have arranged the bag, packed the bags, picked up the bottle and announced loudly: "Dear friends, while my husband is on guard, I just have to drink. I chose the Crimean red. And smoked sausages. I think you will like it". And then I stretch out a pack of sausages to Ire (which I think should be driving), I raise my eyes at her, and there - and there I am looked at by two fainted men. And next to this threatening female voice: "Taaaaaak...".
The situation was saved by my girls who saw that I was in the wrong car. I waited and decided that something was wrong and I had to be saved. And just after that the door opens and they say, “Sorry. It is our. She is weak on the head. I can’t remember what kind of car we have".

My language is sometimes my enemy.
Application today
A client asks how the weather is on the street. The wind is strong?
I will not take you by the wind.
Then I look at her, and she is swollen like that))) and her eyes are poured with blood)))

Xxx: The translation of small! Let us get acquainted? Tell me about Siberia?
Hi you, let’s try it! I am an inadequate individual living in a foolish human society, whose minds are tearing me off. I come every day with the disgusting thoughts of a maniac to a loved one who brings me joy back to life, until another fucking chicken with an iPhone and without a brain tries to take mine. Here is. And fucking in my mouth I wanted the opinion of clumps of shit calling themselves people.
Xxx has added you to ignore - page.

The main criterion of life success is the ability to stay alive.

My daughter came from New York, she said. She works in a brigade that sets the lights for big celebrations, such as weddings for half a thousand people. Here, they prepared a barbecue room for a very wealthy and very religious Jewish family. The very event on Sunday, worked on Wednesday, Thursday and half Friday. The main thing is all done, but you still need to adjust the direction of the reflectors and other little things. Suddenly, a rabbin with two assistants comes to watch the work and cries that everyone should be turned off immediately, because the Sabbath is coming. Non-Jews are not forbidden to work, but if on the Sabbath to turn on or turn off the light in the cosher room (and the cosher hall, there are gatherings), it will become non-cosher, and everything is gone.

Everyone is confused, someone calls the brigade and reports the situation. But here comes one of the lights, the Italian Marco. It blinketh with its own – said, do not rush, people, that all will be – and goes to explain with the rabbis. He tells them the following:
I know a little about your order. I know you can’t turn on and turn off the plate on Saturday. But after all, you can put the pots on a already burning plate and remove them. Here we will do with the reflectors the same thing you do with the plate. We will not turn them on – they are already burning. And we will not turn them off. We will just move them there. Put and remove the filters. And when we leave, we will cut off the main rubber, it is outside the kosher room.

The rabbis thought and thought, consulted with each other and agreed. I don’t know how it was from the point of view of theology, but they probably wanted everything to be okay with the light. Satisfied as an elephant, Marco calls the brigadier:
Greg is okay. I agreed that I could continue to work.
Greg, himself half-Jewish, was completely surprised:
Mark, I can’t believe it. Did you argue with the three rabbis?? to
by Marko:
and ha! That’s a few pieces compared to what I did a month ago.
What did you do?
You are overtime.