I sit in a line to the endocrinologist, write out prescriptions for insulin. A full-fledged aunt, as in that post: “uncertainly-hulled outward,” and in the course of ores:

I am a diabetic, I have no line.

And, in a rough turn, he tries to break into the office. Naturally, it is inhibited, indicating that it is your turn, please go to the end.

But is sick! I have type 2 diabetes! I am a group 3 disabled. I am without a turn!

Then you will be after me. I’m also a disabled and a diabetic, but I’m a type one, I cried in, getting rid of Picabus.

Okay, I’ll be following you, still the 1st type.

Only she didn’t know that the whole line was made up of diabetics, and the last in that line was me.



Good sugar for all diabetics!

A new tenant arrived at the venue, a guy named Misha.

Previous apartment guests were accompanied - almost drunk in joy. With one hand followed, the other tears of happiness wiped. Thank God, we are gone, the catchers.

I started communicating with Misha:

“Misha, we don’t smoke in the entrance. All three do not smoke. And one too. Only cigarettes do not smoke either. Smoking in the loggia, please.

Mickey, reduce the noise. In the name of three nights. How quiet is it? So that the bed does not throw decibels.

What is this installation at the door? It was rubbish, I forgot to take it. You don’t want to smell at home, let it flow in the entrance. We understand. Please hasten to bring the bag to the bag.



I come down the stairs and listen to Misha speaking on the phone:

The house is fine, repair standards. With the neighbors, you are not lucky.

After the World Quarantine, in 9 months, a record number of babies will be born and we will call them coronals.

I have a companion. of Leha. In Lehe slightly more than two meters of growth. The athlete. The Fighter. He served far from in the army. In the 90s he managed to banditize - but survived, was not shot, not jailed. Tattoos like a Yakuza. Generally speaking, a frozen personality.

Leah met a woman. Relationships developed rapidly. Love and all things. When it came to the plans for the ZAGS, she admitted that she was married, and her husband was a sailor, now on the flight, but as soon as the divorce will return. Just a month to wait.

Plans remained plans - the husband made a surprise and returned the same evening.

About the return of the husband of his beloved Leha told with a broken eye and a broken lip. My imagination painted a lump of a monster, the marine man was imagined as a former pirate who sold his soul to Kthulhu... Well, what else to break? Leah told me:

A man two heads below me. and empty. The Lyse. You know, I was very ashamed. Imagine yourself in his place, smelled the mechanic in the oil for six months, you rush home with the guests, and you in the middle of the night the door is opened by some wretch dressed in a towel and in your shoes. In short, I put him in the mouth until he was tired.

The planes do not fly. Factories are not working. Greta, baby, are you happy?

In Korea there is a chain of stores "Daiso", it's something like "Thousand little things" that store that next to my house is on the -1 floor. You can only go down there by the escalator, then you enter the door, go shopping and go out on the other side. He has one small trouble. On weekdays he works from 9 in the morning and on Sundays from 10 in the morning. Well, on Sunday, during a morning walk-running, I decided to jump there, buy a little stuff like isolants and markers for work. I go down the ladder, down there is a crowd of people, a man 20-25. The doors are closed, there is no way out, there is no other way upstairs. cannot take. Time is 9-10. Asking "What happened" they explained to me that today is Sunday and the store is from 10 a.m. and a whole hour to wait to just get out. Well, I looked at the clock again, decided that I don’t want to stand here for 50 minutes, leaned, pressed the red button with the inscription “STOP” (there was a signature, press only in emergencies) and went up. From the bottom I hear the rubber and the phrase "I said, now the Russians will come and save us all."

My husband is angry:

- Fuck, this panic is global with the coronavirus...

The Wife:

And do not speak. Should we buy pasta and pasta?

My husband is suspicious:

In what case? ! to

The Wife (Woman):

In case you want a pasta...

Now and roll out of the country nowhere, around - the coronavirus.

My wife’s brother came from the depths and we were sitting for dinner. Asks how life is, how things are, I answer that everything is fine, we went with the child to rest, we talk about school, well, not to tell him about the foolish boss and trouble at work, right? I ask him how he is doing, which he in turn answers that he barely had time to get on the plane, the duty was loaded. Further from his words.
Just entered, they immediately report that they were injured by the RZD, a person fell under the train, cut off both legs above the knees. They brought, immediately to the operating room, blood loss, shock, but saved. We sat down to drink tea, a call from GIBDD – two minibuses collided, many people were injured, they were taking us. The nurse “sits on the phone,” calls all the doctors and surgeons. It turned out that everything was not so bad, three bodies remained on the track, only seven people were brought to us. 12 hours in the operating room. I arrived at the airport, almost late.
- Yes, by the way, and where in the vicinity can you buy shoes, crox, like you, very convenient in such work to walk?
Going to crawl, and is it that I have the trolls at work? 24 hours in the operating room. And at the same time, clothes and surgical costume to buy at your expense.

The terrible times. People have to wash their hands, cook food at home, and communicate with their children. This can also happen when reading books.

Babakin: I was lying for two days with terrible headaches, a temperature below 40, the muscles are weeping, the head is weeping - everyone came, the ass.

I call an ambulance, I am taken away, in the abode of evil. Take a lot of tests, faces in masks.

The doctor goes in: thank God, you just have meningitis. They feared it was a coronavirus.

I’m happy with Kim’s son.



Free.flier: The type of glue from meningitis is not as shameful as from the coronavirus?





Innalya: If he dies from meningitis, the coronavirus statistics will not be ruined



Babakin: I’m still alive

I traveled by train in Russia in the mid-1990s. The neighbor offers a drink, somehow he so well served everything: a bottle of good vodka, snack, snack.

I answer: I am a rather unprincipled person, but I have three rules. I don’t drink until noon, I don’t drink with strangers, I don’t drink in moving transport.

The man lost all interest in me, just looked out the window and did nothing.

It was twenty or thirty minutes. The crew crashed into the perron of a large station and stopped. The man immediately revived, looked at the clock (there was something like 12: 07) and extended my hand:

and Nicholas! ...”

Yes I remembered. Probably 1991 or 1992. That is the beginning :)

I remember all the time broadcasting deputies on television, my father read "New World" and so on. There are discussions in the newspapers. Well, I was still in school.

And then the father cries and reads an article in a magazine. Example of a package vote.



There are three people: “A”, “B” and “B”. Not acquainted with each other. They are invited to vote for the following:

"A" is put in jail, "B" is raised twice, and "B" is transferred to a new promising position.

“A” votes against, “B” and “B” vote for.

“A” is in prison.

The next vote:

"A" is transferred to the best chamber, "B" is sent to jail, and "B" is raised twice the salary.

“A” and “B” vote for, “B” vote against.

“A” and “B” are in prison.

The last issue of the vote:

"A" to improve nutrition, "B" to transfer to the best chamber, "B" to put in jail.

“A” and “B” vote for, “B” vote against, but in the end:

All three volunteerly and democratically put themselves in jail :)



Then I just remembered this example as a joke, yes... Later, I realized that “package” voting is an extremely dangerous thing. And that, however, each proposal should be considered separately, and not a "package" to be pulled all the way.



Z is. I’m not suggesting anything, I just remembered.

When I was 5, I remember asking my parents for a dog. Or a cat. In general, something lively and furry that you can have fun playing with. The parents refused and then asked, “Do you want a monkey?”



This is not a dog, and I knew little about monkeys, but the offer still thrilled me.



I: The real one?

R : Of course!

I: And she will live at our house without a cage and can play with her?

R is yes!



Then came my brother.

The president noted that in no place in the world a manager earns less than his employees.

He probably does not know that there is no concept of revenue anywhere in the world, but there is a profit.

I approach the passageway, people are tired there: someone is passed, someone is waiting for documents, etc.
I sweep my hand into the pocket where the radio frequency label for the turniquet should be placed, and I just touch a pack of new crispy thousand notes. Before that, he took it off in the ATM, put it down and rolled it into his pocket. It is clear that the flat pass just found somewhere inside the package between the notes. Looking for and removing lazy. Even if in the center of the package - there is a thickness of only 1 cm, for the radio frequency label should be enough, and if it is shifted in any direction and you do not guess from the first time, I will attach the other side. These thoughts passed in a second. I approach the turniket, on the move I take out the folded package, without stopping, I attach one side of the package and the other, the turniket is open, I pass. I hear behind my back:
And what? Was it possible?
Look what the money makers do!

Who would have thought that in the 21st century the world will again turn into the Middle Ages: America is closed to Europeans, the plague browses in Europe itself, and in Russia-motherly disputes between the Kiev and Moscow princeships, the opričnina and the boyars celebrating the tsar-batyushka...

Beginning of the nineties. My father is sick, he is in the hospital, his mother is in the garden. Just planted in the greenhouse tomatoes and on you! and freezing. seriously and for a long time. At night, it was down to minus eight. For a couple of days, my mother was involved in saving the red-skinned, but decided that I should also work for the benefit of the family, the more Batty should write out and meet him.



Call me to work - come to the garden, I will teach you to save tomatoes from freezing. I came, my mother gives me her post - here is the stove, here is the boiler on the oven, the water boils and every half hour you change the boiler with cooled water in the greenhouse for boiling from the oven.



has left. I looked at those cages, scratched the tail and walked with my extended hand through the garden. The neighbor took a large boiler, went to a friend on a neighboring street, borrowed a wire from him. Forks - the sockets were their own and after half an hour of work there was a crooked, but reliable extender, which was enough to the greenhouse. He also found two bins of strawberries, each with 5 to 10 liters, poured into them coal from the oven and hanged it in the greenhouse.

At night the coal was shaking, giving heat, the boiler boiled water in the tank, and I slept, not distracting every half hour for any smoothie. Arriving early in the morning, mom and dad found a functioning system and shaking me. And comfortable plus five in the greenhouse.



It turned out that my laziness and little technical knowledge gave me significant advantages over pure humanities.

Like a cherry on a cake - the next year there were freezes too, and my mom used my scheme, but instead of coal, she drove all the burning garbage into the cans. The greenhouse was full of smoke and all the leaves from the tomato bushes fell off. Then they grew up, but it was later.

When I was still going to kindergarten, I was poorly hearing, was not communicative. Children are generally angry at those who see poorly and hear poorly, and one boy has insulted me all the time. He pulled his hair, pinched, called, well, the classic of the genre. And once I could not stand it, and I cut it off. I remember I was just covered by a white diaper of anger, and I... Well, in general, the next day we go to the garden with my mom, and we are waiting for this boy with his mom. And his mother begins to complain that your daughter beat my son yesterday. I was the youngest in the group, almost a year younger. And the boy is above my head and generally healthy. Mom says to this woman, look at her and her son. If she beat him, what was it for? The woman looked at her son, breathed, took him by the hand and left silently. It was my first victory in society.

Today I heard a compliment that I have a brutal face. The reason for this is a few visible scars. He immediately began to smile because he remembered the "brutal" origin of these scars. A scar on the eye - tried to break a rod to fight with a urticaria. The stick gave up. A scar on the eyebrows - played with a metal tube from a vacuum cleaner in a ninja turtle. has lost.