bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110608
 13.03.2015
Dialogue in the office between the manager (M) and the developer (R):
M: How much time do you feel left for this task? When is the end?
R: I don’t know, by the feelings, everything is somehow unclear, blurred.
M is. A feeling of a blurred end?
R: Yes, the feeling of a messy end.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110607
 13.03.2015
I pulled the nails out of the bat garage and knocked them into the ground. Hui knows why, probably because it was easy to get in.

And then the grandmother (the kingdom of heaven) said to the baby, "Make a wooden puddle for the child - let it develop!" The next morning I had a kianoko with which I walked knocking everywhere, imitating a tumultuous development. And at lunch the same day, while my grandmother was sleeping on the couch, I loaded her with this puddle in her forehead! My grandmother did not raise any more questions about my development, because Kiyanochka flew from the breakout into the river for 10 minutes... her hands.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №110606
 13.03.2015
Friendship between man and woman.
God, why did you actually decide that friendship excludes both sex and even thoughts about it? A close relationship based on mutual trust, attachment, common interests." My husband and I, for example, have been closest friends for many years, our relationship is based on mutual trust, attachment, common interests, and not on sex, although he is also very good. It is friendship that lies at the basis of long strong family relationships: if you have nothing to do with a man but to fuck, then nothing good in the future will come out of this.
Well, if you are not even in a romantic relationship, then why from one thought of sex everything else that binds you should instantly evaporate somewhere?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110605
 13.03.2015
From the 4pda on the pink iPhone:

Better black as Darth Vader.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Zzzz: And he said he was your father.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110604
 13.03.2015
but really - born after the 80s often some missed... my girl worked (85 AD, the highest degree), the cartoon "Treasure Island" saw it for the first time when we were chasing it in the office in order of relaxation. In the 2008s.
__________________________________
"I watched this cartoon as a child, but you didn’t!"
A reason for pride and an indicator of a broad horizon.
God, people, do you even know what kind of Aachen you are in?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110603
 13.03.2015
I see that...
— — —
I was here on March 8th... congratulated in contact with the girl one cute... wrote a congratulation and a picture. In the picture, a cat-type brought a bouquet of flowers - a mercy to melt. Nothing confused me. Just I sent a message - in the tape this same photo with the signature of the "8 March independent woman"... I now understand why I don't have a girlfriend, I am a pathological troll.
— — —
This is not a troll, it is a society. A couple (and more) years ago (and a bouquet of cats is not a banana, it is a classic, google) I quietly sent this photo to different girls I knew, exclusively to delight and raise the mood. And it worked, and no one joked about “independent women.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110602
 13.03.2015
In the cinema with children. There is a huge dog on the screen. Every time he publishes a long "rrrrrrr..." and at the end of the shocking "...VVVVAF!!!". Everyone ran away, only a small kitten is sitting with the dog in front of the cheek and watching the process with curiosity. On the next "rrrrrr..." the dog is slightly knocking his foot on his mouth. The dog silently silences, silences for a couple of seconds, starts again "rrrrrrrr...", again gets to the mouth, silences, staying on the naked piece of wool.
From the room a child’s voice: "Cast is knocking down!"

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №110601
 13.03.2015
Terry Pratchett has died. The world of his dust. Rest in the world!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110600
 13.03.2015
When your husband introduces his friends to you, do you not think that they also had sex together?
____________________________
I’ll tell you more: when any person in general introduces me to their friends of any gender, I think the least about whether they’re fucking or not. I was crazy about my sex.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110599
 13.03.2015
The chest should not be large or small. It must be beautiful first of all.
YYY: First of all, she must be a woman.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №110598
 13.03.2015
It is curious to note that the gods of the flat world never especially bothered themselves with all sorts of judgments over the souls of the dead, so people went to Hell only if they deeply and sincerely believed that there was their place. What’t have happened if they didn’t know about its existence. This explains why it is so important to shoot the missionaries at their first appearance." (c) Terry Pratchett.

A great writer has died today. May the earth be you, sir.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110597
 13.03.2015
There is a left account in one blue network. Today I received a message from a friend:

Sergey, come in to Nicholas immediately!

O_0

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110596
 13.03.2015
A flat world without a creator...Thank you, Terry Pratchett

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110595
 13.03.2015
Cinderella syndrome in action. She bought a sexy maid's costume while washing, washing the refrigerator, the microwave, the bath and the floor throughout the house

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110594
 13.03.2015
The joke here.
= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
You read here, you read... and you realize how many people would like to be giant intelligent frogs from the latest books of Gromyko, in which A-Paul and B-Paul live separately in different territories and only in the coupling season briefly intersect. True, A-Paul lives in same-sex couples of companions (not sexually, but purely socially).
------------
It is unclear why there is so much homophobia in Russia. After all, 2/3 of the population is raised by same-sex couples - mother and grandmother.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110593
 12.03.2015
You don’t think about sex with your sister, no matter how beautiful she is.
-
How could I say softer...

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110592
 12.03.2015
Try to think from the right perspective. You all have mothers. Many even have sisters. These are female women in your close circle of personal communication, but they don’t need to be scary at all, and you’re ‘blue’ not to look at them in a scary context. The instincts of the pofig - animals outside with their adult children are quite close - if it were instincts, relatives would not be an exception. But as a man, you don’t think so. So it is the reason and culture that determines everything, so you just experience the voices of boy arrogance with girls and try to drop everything supposedly on nature.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №110591
 12.03.2015
You don’t think about sex with your sister.

Fuck you wrote this on the internet.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110590
 12.03.2015
Makdacka fries with cola or original fried potatoes with quas - no difference.
......................
Is it that our quas is as poisonous as their car? Or is their car not as chemical as our quas? What does it get?
......................
Coke is done!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №110589
 12.03.2015
Is Terry watching?
and yes.
I am your fan...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna