And now ask your mom already adult to talk to you about sex and the variety of methods of protection.
////
No, but not my mom. All this heresy that they wrote to them was the mother and told them: about ppa, hot shower, lemon and aspirin, abortions without anesthesia and pills from which the third breast grows.
About all the rest of the mother is not aware - there was no sex in their country.
P.S Consultation can be obtained at the nearest Family Planning Center.

According to the results of 2015, Post of Russia delivered 51% of orders from online stores to Russian consumers.
Openly said: And the remaining 49% we sowed!

On the other hand, about gender equality: in no club or cafe or restaurant where men have 200, women 100 entrances, I have not seen striking feminists demanding equality.

Today at lunch I speak to my husband: I want coffee, will you cook?

The husband obviously does not want to do this, looks at the sides, in search of how to avoid this dull operation, notices a cup next to the coffee machine.

The husband is happy: oh, there is still yesterday's coffee left, now I will pull the fly out of it and warm it up, will you?! to

I: O_o

What are you, she’s a little girl...

He gets a spoonful of flies and goes with a bowl to the microwave.

On March 8th =)

here here :
A bunch of cats for those who know what this story is:

There was such a story: researchers flew to a planet destroyed by ancient war. He resurrected an ancient monster. Realizing their mistake, they tried to fly away quickly, but the monster managed to get into the ship. The researchers were not humanoids, but what kind belonged to the terrible deadly alien, I think, can not be suggested.
If you replace an ancient war with a space disaster, this is Alfred Van Vogt’s “The Monster” story.

Who suggests:

As a child, I watched the cartoon "Hunters of ghosts", in which the hunters had a device to search for these ghosts. And almost in every series he had them "stacked". Everything could not understand why they would not repair it / repair it / switch it to show it normally.
What is the tension on the network?
The multimeter is shaking!! to
So what fucking thing did you turn it on at 200 volts? Go to 750.

So it has them and calibrated to measure the normal "Providence" background. And how he begins to scratch - "Camera. The motor. It was"

My attempt to run my teamviwer on a laptop instilled human hatred, misanthropy, despair, thirst for violence and a desire to get drunk.
(The program has not been launched)

XHH: On a rainy day near the san-gig of the NMU corps, in a row in the barracks stands such an exotic afrodisiac with afrocoses. He grabs in the phone, chewing a cigarette. A car passes through the gazebos and sneaks on the fashionable shoes of the Afrodite with dirt from under the wheels. The girl echoes and suddenly in pure Russian, well, almost without an accent, gives a ringing and brief replica, the meaning of which is to wish the whistleblower to deprive the anal virginity by means of a suckle. And you look at this scene, and immediately the rainy day becomes a little brighter.

Yesterday there was a typical case of trying to cut a high price for a ticket in the electric car.
I sit on my site and I know the branch from and to.only entered the car and here they are.revisors.fit.continue dialogue:
Where and where? he asked.
From 604 to 582
She loops her eyes and declares, almost victoriously raising her voice:
You did not sit there!
I’m quiet—Well, let’s check, call the station for Battle?
She fell into.
I will teach you the game and give you 12 rubles.

fe_city_boy

The younger brother always carries things for the older brother. Always »
(Andy and Larry Wachowski)

Wut: “A Chinese man lived 256 years.” First thought: a programmer.

The man’s card is blocked by the bank, he asks what’s going on? In response, why did you fill up our map? Answered surprisingly so said filled up to pay for services and buy goods. From the bank even more surprising, and what is the "economic meaning" in this?? to
-Well, in general, it is really strange, as if a decent person had a card for himself, well, he filled it, so he even thought about spending! It is suspicious!

From the chat on the swingers website:
How many cm?
I don’t have to wait, I’ll ask my wife to get an ambulance to die. :)
Can you move yourself?
- favorite said about 17cm 3mm, laughing is not worth it, by memory measured :)
What a memory she measured!! to
She put the ambulance in her mouth. :)

>>>Uzhn made the film "Marshal of Finland", where, in fact, Mannerheim plays a Negro.

I realized that you have not watched this movie, nor even the trailer, and are familiar with it only by the news in the tape.
This low-budget film was shot in Kenya and it has ALL black actors.

Two employees of the firm secretly carried into the office the machines of their sons and arranged a fun game right at the workplace. Six people suffered from jealousy.

XX: Interestingly, can you buy a prostitute not for sex, but to love"? She took care, smooked her head, boulders boiled there, didn't fuck out, all the things.

Once, we gathered together by a company of 15 people in a water-water march on the bajdarka. During the purchase of alcohol received an offer from the side on the sale at an acceptable price canister of dry wine. The offer was supported (we are all subtle lovers of good wines here, BLIN!The canvas is acquired. Already on the way in the bus, at the first parking lot for a snack, it was decided to taste ambrosia under butterflies. solemn spill, and... shock: disgust is unfavourable, gives some rottenness - may it have broken up? What to do? to expose? How will the Soviet man pour out what the money is plotted for?
A suicidal idea was adopted: let's dilute the alcohol with this screw, it will still have to be diluted with something, and drinking water is rare in the journey (we usually cook on fresh river water, but it is yellow, and sometimes with more strange shades). of logic? And so is! The final hell mixture did not even know how to name, then the name BERLANDIN was born, with the emphasis on the last slang. This mixture fell from the feet of one glass and was disgusting to taste. By the end of the two-week journey we finally came out to the inhabited land and first run to the local village store... There was only the famous apple-beneficial drink... We took 5 bottles... CHILDREN! I have never had a better food in my life! It was not just drunk, it was tasted! It was just a fairy tale, then we took another box with us.))) Moral: never, NEVER mix alcohol with dry wine!

Conversations at work
What do ants prefer, salt or sugar?
Sugar of course. They don’t eat salt at all.
So why do ants crawl in the salt?
Maybe they thought there was sugar?

Memento_mori: I needed a leash. I went to the store.

Seller: Can you tell me something?
I: Do you have a 0.2 mm hose?
Seller: I don’t understand what you said to me right now!

and silence. No one else in the store. Is it little. Maybe he hears badly. I repeat the question, half a ton above:

I: Do you have 0.2 mm?
Seller: We don’t have any woods! And it never happens!

It was said in such a tone, like, you are what, fool, right? Where did you come at all? It even became fun for me.

I: And where is it?
In the fish shop!
I: Thank you for educating.

Indeed, you have to be a finished creature to go for a leash to a store called "Splash. We fully equip (this is a network of stores, on the site of which in the section "Fishing products" in the category "Equipment" about 40 species of shrimp are displayed).

No need to shoot, kids.
No need to poison.
Time is the best doctor in the world.
But a pathologist.