It only seems to a person that he thinks for himself, but in reality the brain thinks for him.

I am so old that I remember the past century.
For example, I remember the times when butter was useful. He was placed in a hot meal, swallowed on bread, swallowed blades. The oil was very useful, especially for children.
I still remember when the yeast was useful. Especially for teenagers. When our next growing boy started the season of acne at home, my mom started almost every morning for breakfast to make peelings on yeast. The puffy, sour, tasty pineapples were terribly useful because they contained yeast.
Meat was useful – any. Pork, beef, wild - it was useful for everyone, especially children and those who have physical activity. The brain bones were useful. And the chestnuts.
The chicken was useful. The chest, of course, but the legs-wings-cut - everything in the chicken was useful, except the intestines, gallbladder and feathers.
The fish was useful. Especially the fat. Especially the children. Children benefited from fatty fish, but for adults any fish was beneficial.
Egg yellow was useful. Especially the children too. And the elderly.
Milk products were useful - all without exception. Children, pregnant and sick – especially, but in general – everyone. Any fat was useful. In milk were calcium, protein, vitamins. Lactose was and was also useful. Cream was useful – especially rural, of course, but the store was also beneficial. Especially in the border.
Borst was useful. First the soup. A hot soup once a day was extremely beneficial for any body. Secondly, in the border meat, and it was still useful at the time. The third is vegetables.
Vegetables are all useful. Cabbage was useful. Especially those who have acne and constipation, but in general for blood it was useful for everyone. Carrots help to grow and see well. Cabbage is famous for vitamins. Grapefruit was useful. Tomatoes are very useful. very very.
Cheesecakes were useful. Every grain was useful. Especially the children. Men too, with meat. Meat was good for everyone.
Apples are useful. Especially the children.
The oranges were useful. Especially sick.
Bread was useful. Especially to everyone.
Honey was useful. Especially in winter.
Cacao was very useful, especially for children.
Tea with milk was useful. Without milk too.
Only coffee is harmful if it is drunk a lot. And if not very much, then also nothing.
Nowadays, of course, many products have ruined their character. They are all so bad, shit! Only we are the inhabitants of the last century and remember how cute and helpful they were once.
by Lyudmila Ovchinnikova

And can it not be done the opposite: for the free aid of Kyrgyzstan to collect sms, and $ 30 million. The state budget for the treatment of children.

I take a taxi with a driver without nationality. I crossed a couple of phrases, I feel, I started to peel (I want to paint). I say:

My dear, let’s go carefully.

Oh yeah, I go carefully!

Very careful, like my mom.



We were driving perfectly.

Six years ago, I moved from St. Petersburg to Tallinn to my wife, where I still live. I want to tell you how I got to work here.



I arrived in the so-called “no season,” at the beginning of December. Without education, without language, without even any paper confirming possession of any profession. There was no driving license. Just such a “beautiful.” Take me, the employer, quickly! “” But he was optimistic. Before that I had been several times in Tallinn in visits and about Estonia I had the impression of a "land of retirees". I was young, beautiful and unprincipled. I can dig, I can’t dig. At first, I was ready to go even to the minimum. At the time it was $450.



The system of finding a job in Estonia was very simple. You make a CV (cv-resume), pour it on a special site and sit and wait... Employers and recruitment agencies themselves select candidates on these CVs and invite them to a meeting. By the way, on the same site you monitor the vacancies and send your questionnaire to them yourself "forward")) Literally with one button. very comfortable. From Estonia to L.L. with love))



The resume helped to compile and translate the wife. We “blinded him from what was.” Suddenly it turned out that by the age of thirty and a tail in the questionnaire to write it and nothing! I worked on different jobs that are not related to each other. In terms of experience, the most in jewellery as a fixer and in the stallion "no one". What to write in the questionnaire? Who am I? I am neither a carpenter nor a jeweller... It is good that my wife suggested:



Let’s write “operator station”!

Which one? ? to

Any one!

It is genius!



They dropped my horor-CV and started waiting. And as the saying goes, “Around the road the dead with the hair stand... and the silence...” December is quiet. There are holidays, in principle. January is quiet. I started chasing a little, but my wife and her parents said, “That’s the norm! “” Well, he never even called or invited anywhere. No one needed me... misery.

Here is the first call! I almost forgot all the words. invited to an interview. A vacancy operator of a printer there, with training. The class! I come at the address. Something incomprehensible. No production smells. An office building. I even thought it was a divorce. It was a personnel agency. For me it was wild.



I sat down with a young girl HR talked, I don’t know what. She told me nothing about the work itself, as I understood, because she knew nothing. He asked me all the questions about where he was working, what he was doing. About nothing at all. I left in confusion. Is such an interview necessary? ? to If anything, we will call you! “” I wonder what “if what”? How will the employer know what I am? Will she tell us something or what? I came home telling, and I again all the choir “This is the norm! “” Oh well ok.



It takes a week or maybe more. The girl calls again. You are invited to the same job interview, but at a different address. Type of “second stage”. I am already in production. It is somewhere in Huevo-Kukuyevo, but I think it is still in the city. I was taken to the chief engineer’s office. He was such a funny man, he spoke Russian well. We talked “for life.” Where I worked, what I did. All fucking, the same as in the first interview, only less officially. Jokes of some sort. I was sitting with the eyes of the Lup-Lup. Strange it all was somehow... “Well, if anything, we’ll call you! “” Oh I say. I will wait.



10 days later, I forgot about it. The chief engineer is already calling: “Alexey, come to the interview!” The third phase! Where should I go? There were no other options. Absolutely silence. At least some of those movements. I don’t know if they might have it here, but I wasn’t sure if they needed a man at all or not. Or do they want to see them all?



I come. I am being taken to the machine. Meet the operator to whom I am applying. He is so happy! )) There is no sugar, but there is no choice. We talked to him and another Estonian fellow. At least closer to the matter. They told me they showed a job. You will need to paint DVDs. demonstrated the process. They even made some scratch themselves. It seemed like I managed, the jewelry past helped. They have also asked them. Where I came from, where I worked before. Well, I am already like a poppy, to all the questions I have improved answers, compared to the first "stages")) The outcome is the same: "Well if anything, we will call! “”



It is 10 days... I did not know what to think about this vacancy... Just joking about Estonian slowness... I stopped sending questionnaires to other companies, and the time is running! And nothing happens... We would say a lot of yes, no, no. It is March already. But no one else wants me any more. [...]



They call again. Come to the interview! “” seriously? The fourth interview. With whom this time? :) The girls there were cute on the packaging... Maybe with them...?)) Fuck the honest word.



This time I was interviewed with a serious man. It turned out that he came for me from the main office, which is in Vilnius. There is nothing to do! I talked to him, but he almost asked nothing. On the contrary, he told what a super enterprise they had and that they were ahead of the entire planet. We know, we know. I’d be surprised if he told me they’re in the ass, they don’t go out here without me. His tongue was hanging, I will tell you. He loaded me for a long time. Well, a man came from a distance only for that, I acted with understanding)) I sit down. From me all the history of their company told, starting almost from how they met with other founders and where they started. Should I have known this? ? to I do not understand...



Thank God, somewhere after an hour of our "conversation", the talk finally came about me. That I seemed to have made a positive impression on everyone and so on. And he sees me in this position bla bla bla, but only one question he wants to ask. And asks me why I wrote this whole story...



Alexey, what do you think about pornography?



How many thoughts I have in my head, you can’t even imagine! :) I even thought I heard...How do I feel about pornography? ? to As in the anecdote about Georgians:



“Goody, do you love the pomegranates?

There is yes. And so Nate...”



What question is this at all? What to answer? ? to and AAAA! You have to respond quickly! This is an interview...



I’m fine, why are you asking? ? to

Do you not understand?

Emma... No...

Go then, I’ll show you better.



To say that I was intrigued is to say nothing... And what about pornography? What do they want to show? ? to It was scary and interesting at the same time! We went down from the second floor to the production workshop where I had been before. We approach my potential workplace, where I have already been, nothing special I have seen there. And then he points to me on the wall on which a decent plasma hangs and says, “Look...”. I raise my eyes... Jooptaaa... There, on the whole screen, a large-scale pair of some meat-eaten madam are watching! Pornography is the most natural. Right in the shop on the wall, wrap up! )) Ancient truth is some kind of porn and babe is as terrible as my life, but still, gently speaking, unexpectedly!



And then I got the DVDs! They are in the press and pressed. What about them? Naturally porn)) And here on this television they’re rotating it all day. Quality of reproduction is checked. No sound, thank God



Three years later he worked there. The first time it was fun to send my wife a selfie with this screen after her question, “How are you doing? If you ask who in our time needs porn on disks, I will say that they were sent to Scandinavia. Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Finland. And quite large titles. Thousands of films. Somewhere 90% of all disc production came from porn!



This is such a story! Now I can boast that I worked in the porn industry! )) By tradition, I apologize for the many letters) Respect, who has read to the end)

Those who get up early give up in the morning.

Philip Kirkorov arranged a scandal at the funeral of Julia Началова.
He was upset that he was not allowed through the office entrance and had to stand in the crowd.
In response, the organizers politely noted: "This is not your day, Philip Bedrosovich. When it is yours, we will bring it through the office."

Yulia Tymoshenko went to the bazar and promised:
The salad travels twice.
Buyers are three times cheaper.
The pigs are inviolable

The cat is the best teacher to rest.

It was the nineteenth case.

A man who looks like a physician comes into my studio, with a whistle, a second meter, behind him - a police officer. The physruck in one hand has a packet with PTC-11D, in the other - a tail. He puts on both sides, and says:

- My son is 16 already, and a double... Decided to train in the apartment in a hammer. He pulled his tail and hit the TV in the side. Don’t worry about the body, I’ll fill the hole, the selector fix it.

I answered:

- Your selector will no longer help, it has barely been cut in half, I will sell you another, and I will take this for spare parts.

Just make a barter deal. I’ll give you a tail instead of money for repairs. Everything will be useful.

I was sorry for the man, I sold him a selector for a tail, he left, and I asked the police officer:

Comrade Captain, what about you?

- And I went by, I look, a man with a tail enters your door. Anything can be thought of. I went to see you and protect you if you need to.

thank you!

A government cable was stolen near the Kremlin.
And most importantly, nobody would have noticed, but something suspiciously long time from the Kremlin did not receive any stupid orders.

Because of all the resonant cases in connection with young girls who posted or posted their photos in swimsuits and subsequently got problems ( I don’t understand why society has reacted so). All our young classmates cleaned their Instagram pages and began to walk in strict costumes. Even in the days when children are not in school. It was somewhat darker :(

has long been. At that time, the internet was not unlimited and young people loved to gather on the bench at the entrance. At the time of the neighbors, I knew everyone - our house from the former institute, and the former employees still lived in it. But there were also a couple of young families who recently moved. I did not know them. It was a time when there were no deaf iron doors, and the entrance was opened with a primitive key - a screwdriver.



A strange guy walked into our entrance. The next day at 9 p.m. he came and opened the entrance door. Twenty minutes later he came back. One day I went in for him to listen to what floor he was going up. Judging by the steps, it was the last, 5th floor. The door did not knock, the keys did not ring.



My friends and I decided one day to follow him. In order not to hear him, we even had to take off our shoes. As always at 9 p.m., the guy opens the entrance door with his key and goes through. Within a few minutes, we carefully steal after him. They climbed to the 5th floor, and he is sitting on the corks and putting his ear in the lock well and listening.



So what are you doing here? “I’ll call you,” said my friend Andrei.



The guys! Sorry, I am not a thief and not a fraudster, my wife left me with her daughter to another, they moved here... they forbid communicating with the child... and I come after work... just listen to how my daughter says... she’s just bathing her at this time... she already knows the words...



Even when I was 20 years old, my tears turned from this story.

When you see the title: "Financial aid from 14.9% annual" - you understand that this is a aid, first of all - a bank

I am actually a good driver. The honest word. And very disciplined. And the experienced - thirty years driving like no one, and Los Angeles is a huge city and difficult for the driver.

But it happens, it happens... Everything happens. It turned out. In the wrong place. The streets here are divided into “business” and “residential”. So, on “residential” you can turn, and on “business” you can’t. Although this street is relatively "business" - it is always empty. some kind of storage. And, if strictly between us, it’s not the first time I’m here. There is almost no movement here. Where did this policeman come from? He walked behind the tree with his motorcycle, no differently. Now it will begin...

Their rights? Registration of the car? The Insurance?

Here, keep it, man, I’m all right – and my rights, and my insurance. A very young cop, very struggling, the harsh official appearance leaves itself.

When was your last penalty? How much time has passed?

I am thinking. In fact, he was only one of me.
- At a thousand nine hundred... - I hardly remember, - ah, eighty-nine years.

Cop is lost for a moment and forgets how adult and serious he is:

“I wasn’t born then,” he suddenly said embarrassed.

Despite the unpleasant situation, I can hardly suppress the smile and the desire to ask, “When did you, son, be born?” Maybe somewhere in the nineties. They have grown up, too. Absolutely adult people. Even though the nineties were yesterday...
........................................................................................

The eighty-nine was yesterday too. The officer was also young. My fellow man. He stopped me for excess speed. I had little driving experience.

What a car! Especially for inexperienced beginners drivers such were purchased then. Old, strong, big - and beating is not unfortunate, and safer. They were robust, but the reliability of these old keys did not differ. Shortly thereafter, the front wheel fell off. While making it back, they tricked to somehow disconnect the spidometer. So, with what speed I was driving, and even from the mountain, I have no idea. Probably not very large. (Who knew her, how strong her other wheels held there?)

Also, I remember, I was delighted that this cop was not one of my students - in a densely populated Russian-speaking emigrant area, I was just at this time desperately trying to teach at least a few Russian words of police, firefighters and paramedics. All the city services were confused by this influx of Russian language, and we talked about at least short-term courses for those who had to deal with the public.
Well, real courses did not work, and some words still learned... Yes, it would be uncomfortable if a student.

Cop looked into my car, where my four-year-old daughter was sitting in a special chair in the rear seat, shaking his head - what, say, a careless mother! He gently said to the little girl:
- Baby, wait a moment, now we and Mommy will talk a little, and you will go on.

The daughter hugged a policeman's uncle, and he began to write a fine.

And so that this fine did not affect my "driving history" and insurance, it was recommended to go to a special school and sit there for eight hours. I polished a phone guide and chose one where comic actors were taught. (Life in Hollywood has its own peculiarities.) I thought, maybe it’t be so boring.

That was in vain. For eight hours, we, a group of offenders, honestly listened to how these people tried to “do ridiculously,” telling and visually depicting what could happen on the road when the driver was poorly trained, inexperienced, careless or careless. And the more they tried, the worse we became.
Per that was the point of this training. The educational moment. The impression remains simply indelible. In any case, since then, I have tried to drive very carefully and not to disturb anything if possible.

Something wrong has overcome my memories.
........................................................................................
“Given your perfect driving history, this time I will limit myself to a warning,” the boy in shape tells me, “and suddenly adds something very human, just don’t do it again.

I will not, I promise honestly. I really will not. If you promise something to a child, it must be fulfilled. Fuck, what kind of child? An adult man, even in execution. No matter what, the word must be kept.

Copp sits on his motorcycle and breaks so sharply that I scratch and involuntarily think that his mother is probably very worried about him. I would be worried if my son... or grandson...

I sit in the car for a moment and recover. And suddenly I realize how many people around me are very young – students, police, firefighters, paramedics, nurses and nurses in hospitals, salespeople in shops, builders... Noisy, fun, energetic, with their loud music, with their tattoos and smartphones. The world already belongs to them.

It is time for me to go home. They wait for me. Children will come to visit. Bringing a grandson.

Because I am already a grandmother.

It is just unclear when this all happened.

She did not allow her husband to buy a helicopter on the radio control. Do you know what he did? He called a social service and said he was suffering from domestic violence.

I work in the hospital, in the children's department. Toys are laid down in the office and on the table (to distract and engage the little ones while communicating with parents). Among the toys there is a small steam truck, which is bright in color, and the size is suitable and generally superb!

The boy and his mother go straight to the steam car. He rides, tries and asks:

Is this your steam car? Are you playing him?

I say yes, I play when there is no one.

Do you go home to play?

and yes.

He breathed with unfailing sadness:

I am not allowed to bring toys from the garden. You are happy!



I’m going here, I’m glad)) Now everyone will go and I’ll play)))

I go to the metro. Very tight in the car. I stand, holding my hand for the top assignment. Next to me are a couple, a girl and a young man. Also hold on to the top assignment. The girl's hand is very close to mine, even the sluggish touches the edge of the palm, and the guy puts his over her, gently glimpses and something whispers on her ear. The girls smile happily, looking him faithfully in the eyes.

Everything that followed happened very quickly.

The wagon shakes sharply. I held my hand, and the girl could not and pulled off. She pushed my shoulder, apologized and immediately grabbed her hand again for the order, but not before my palm, but behind it. The guy, without looking again, placed his hand on his palm from the top... Only not on her, but on mine—he didn’t look up, he just touched my palm with his hand and laid his palm from the top. We were all in gloves and he did not feel the difference.

Continuing to whistle something gently to the girl's ear, I began to gently chew my palm from the top, mowing her. All this lasted a few seconds.

I quietly look him in the face, questioningly lifting up my eyebrows, he looks at me dissatisfied—like why am I interfering with their idylly? I point my head to his hand lying on mine. He looks unconscious.

As the squeezed pulls off his, thickly redens and presses out "Sorry! “Both bullets flew out of the car at the stop, a girl jumping from laughter, a guy with a stone face.

Spring is fucking.

My sister has a boyfriend. At the same time, a crane began to flow in her apartment. And then on one of the dates a guy came up with a new crane and installed it. He said, “I wanted to buy flowers, but better let it be, it still costs the same.”

In stories, idiots are most often met.