As I walked into the store, I heard this phrase:
Sanya, you are a fat pit!
Is it fat right away?

I work as a sales consultant in a digital supermarket.
And here, on the next routine day comes the family: daddy, mommy and three-year-old, a 5-year-old educator.
Actually, while Momco, choosing a navigator, Papco takes desperate attempts to track his passes...
Next situation: One of these children, running to the notes with the mouth open...
No No No No No No No No No No No No No Stand up! Go to the discs, bite them!
I: I don’t think it’s a good idea...
On what mapco, with an unwavering look, declares: Believe me, it’s very good... disks are cheaper...
The curtain.

And where? What is your favorite joke on April 1? It was a surprise... (

XHH: They studied various tests in psychology, and tested on themselves for example. And there was, among other things, the task of illustrating the picture - a wave in a square. Well, give up, the predecessor checks, comments. And then he hangs, intentionally, looks at the sheet, thinks, looks again, eventually asks the drawer to explain what it is, and then said that this is not suitable for any classification.
Guess whose letter it was?
Wow, I guess, so what did you picture there?
Okay, I look at the wave somehow, and I did the first thing that came to my mind - the oscillograph.

Such a test checks the adequacy of the response. Oscillograph is a normal answer. This is like an anecdote:
He squeezes and squeezes: What is this?
- This is a three-pointed room, in each ygly it is worth kpovati, on each kpovati tpavati.
What is it "What is it"?
- This is a four-pointed room, in each ygly it is worth kpovati, on each kpovati tpovati. What is it "What is it"?
You are a kind of sex maniac!

Do not post anymore about the "two rings two ends", or the resource for the propaganda of the gameplay will be closed

Comments from Habr, an article on how to catch a hunter:
Meklon: It was a revelation to me that they were jumping. It turned into a ball, and I decided to swallow it. He lies and lies for himself. He sang all the badly, like Darth Vader, and then jumped vertically with the needles up. His hand turned into a small hole. be afraid! They are deceitful.
We should have played Sonic!

Alias: Well I don’t like the idea of antikafe.
alias: for me the phrase "minute payment" will always be associated only with computer clubs and prostitution

No Signal
My God, in the department of 20 serious adult bearded men in sweaters. And these uncles run around the cabinet and rush like horses, because they turned the picture on someone's monitor, glued the indicator to the mouse, cracked the keyboards at neighboring systems, connected two mice to the girl...
No Signal
I work with serious world-class programmers.

From Khabr, a discussion of the post about what will happen to man in the open space:

A person stayed conscious for approximately 14 seconds — approximately that amount of time is needed for oxygen-depleted blood to get from the lungs to the brain.
Yyy: Curious... And if we have a device that enriches the blood with oxygen without the use of air, can a person in this case work in a vacuum without a scavenger? Limited time, of course (let’s say a minute).
zzz: It will be N years, and the Russian, in a dispute, in some tricks will jump out of one lock of the orbital station and run into another...

How to identify Zombies:
1st poorly dressed and dirty;
2nd Instead of speech - non-membranean silence;
Three They think America is to blame.

A review of the program that deletes system files on Android:
OK, I removed all the remaining one box, super.

I participated in the lottery last year. On the first of April, they called me and said I won $156 million, and most importantly, these fools then called me another week! Sometimes people can’t accept that they didn’t believe their joke!

Americans are preparing a war in Ukraine using genetically modified soldiers (heard by a journalist from a barber in the salon).

HH: Nothing is free.
XHH: trust the student of the Economic Faculty

Paradoxes of Psychology:
Every loser, convincing himself of his own worthlessness, finds a lot of examples, in the person of more successful than he.
Every successful man, convincing himself of his superiority, finds a lot of examples in a person less fortunate than him.
And often both are in absolutely the same position, wealth, etc.

The morning, 10:00 I sleep. A phone call is issued. The further dialogue:
(with a sleeping voice) Allo!
Why are you not in school?! to
What kind of school?! to
How do you talk to me, shit? I am Tamara Fedorovna!
- You ride a steam car with your school, Tamara Fedorovna! I am not going there!
Oh you, the puppy! I will call your mother at work.
“I don’t want to upset you, but my mother is deeply upset that I don’t go to school anymore. Moreover, a hysterical like you, she will send in the ass without any talk!
Well it is all! You have played! be prepared!
The long hips!
Some of the walkers today will get specific slides, I think...

When the West complains about Russia’s disobedient behavior, I always remember a letter from the wife of a German soldier found on his body in 1942:
We here in Hamburg are all deeply outraged by the stubbornness and dishonesty of the Russians, who in no way agree to end their stupid and meaningless resistance.

The programmers? They do not understand why: they have a peculiar idea of punctuation.

I can not add:
*********
And again about the Russian language, meaningless and merciless.
"whathanalia", "veezde", "state", "beans"... Well, a few shots are missing.
Progress is obvious, ladies and gentlemen. I had to get rid of this collection :)

P.S Another featheric "bearded" also.
*********

In the advertisement on the sale of the car - a priming (instead of a straightforward).
In online chat games - from under the Czech Republic (rather than under the Czech Republic).

I just want to cry from laughter.)

<Zart> still familiar with the tricks about sent labels instead of documents?
<Zart> has now seen the fairy tale
<Zart> instead of PDF sent AcroRd32.exe