bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63612
 30.04.2012
xxx: We came to an interview with a girl programmer on vb
YYY: So what?
XXX is fifth size.
YYY: Do you have anything on the VB?
XXX: The Fifth Dimension! to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63611
 30.04.2012
I can't drive my brother with the comp
WOW: you can try to apply something like [image with clock removal scheme]
You didn’t answer for a long time, so I clarify: it was a joke.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №63610
 30.04.2012
Web programmers don’t call their ex-girlfriends when they get drunk. They look at their previous projects.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №63609
 30.04.2012
by Valeria:
I’ve had a shock today.)
I have never heard of such street proposals.)
I sit on the bench, the guy (looking like a typical botanist: pants under the chest with a belt, a filled shirt, glasses...) approaches and says:
Can I sit?
– No
I want to meet, can I?
and no!
Could I fuck you?

Fuck the fuck!! And he takes sharply away.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63608
 30.04.2012
We took Maman today from the village, the roads are narrow, two cars will be separated. While she was going to sit smoking, the entrance door was open. A man comes in, don’t tell me whose car it is. I say mine. It’s me – let’s change! I say, Let’s go, what kind of car do you have? The man in a light stupor, 20 seconds looked at me -Well, I mean you go ahead, and I will go to my place. Although I can change, I have Volga. My mother and I almost fell down) No, I say, thank you not! The man for the whole dialogue did not even smile, the walk with the problem of the YU))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №63607
 30.04.2012
The actress, Alexander Grey, was sexually assaulted. Three unknown persons died on the spot.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №63606
 30.04.2012
The man once said that the scooter wanted. We lie down, we watch television, there are two people crashed on a scooter.
I: You see what a scooter you have!
This is how they chase!
I: Do you want to chase?
I am not chasing at all.
I: How do you know if you’re chasing or not, you don’t have a scooter yet?
My husband: I had a motorcycle, but I didn’t chase it!
I: He was so old, he’t be able to drive fast.
Husband: Do you know what he was? Nine of them went up the mountain.
Q: What about the speed? What speed did you drive?
Man: I don’t know, there was no spidometer on him.

I laughed to tears)

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63605
 30.04.2012
Corruption will not be defeated until the Forbes list is seen as irrefutable evidence.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №63604
 30.04.2012
Once, a girl who lived in the hostel had a boyfriend Tolik. He was without a car without a yard, but swam. One day he brought them several dozen kilograms of Kamchatka crab and red caviar. There is also a refrigerator so that there is a place to store. And sinked again. All the following weeks the girls in the room ate this. For normal food money was not special, and not to lose good. At the end of the day, the remaining cane was ruined. She was beautifully covered from above a healthy garbage bowl with spinning crabs. The Dean, coming around, looked and left in the car.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №63603
 30.04.2012
According to VCIOM, 61% of Russians support the idea of transferring officials to domestic cars. 99% of Russians support the idea of simply transferring officials.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63602
 30.04.2012
<Gar> But throw it, take a penny and make it your right hand!
<Government> is there a problem?
<Gar> What to suffer!! and gt ;))
<Argentum> If you have a penny, then you suffer... :))))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63601
 30.04.2012
Pembrock: On the weekend, at 7 a.m., I had one question...Dream, you’re shrinking?and ((

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63600
 30.04.2012
News on the Internet:
The three richest people in Britain are Russian oligarchs.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №63599
 30.04.2012
Announcement: I will meet three or four girls for a serious relationship!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63598
 30.04.2012
To us in the artist girl one went, what about the children the conversation went, she cried: what I have kids, I even have a cactus dead!!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №63597
 30.04.2012
by 2025. The flying cars. In Russia, one problem has been reduced.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63596
 30.04.2012
I am a sociable person and I have many friends.
Yes, only the banks congratulated you on your birthday. where you have your pay cards and your mobile operator
Q: Are the administrators of the Mile considered friends? They sent me a postcard...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №63595
 30.04.2012
The Discovery of America:
<///>I only last night communicated with a club girl - all her words are nonsense (although before she was not) and she really believes that until the age of 25, will find an uncle on a land rover who will give her a bubble, and she will go shopping and fuck with red boys.All this Houthi in the grandmother's heads - passes from the moment they finish the institute and my mom no longer gives money, and a stupid beast (in the clubs) buying on the hollow cocktailers, is actually not stupid, but just looking for a girl once))).

Did you go to a club and encountered a foolish, useless fool? Oh, throw it off, I had a similar adventure yesterday - I went to the railway station, and there the shit smells, and the floor is filled. Who could think?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63594
 30.04.2012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yesterday my grandfather came drunk.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He said a funny thing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
says name change to "yarungin" (grandfather’s name) says I will give you an apartment with a house

yyy (16:51) :
to you?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
well

yyy (16:51) :
I am going to change the jargon.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №63593
 30.04.2012
From the dating site:"Good morning! My name is Eleanor. I am a 64 year old widow. I want to find a companion for the rest of my life. I live in Peter with a widow daughter and an adult widow granddaughter. Possibility of living in the village. Please don’t bother me."

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