I once came to Kiev and because there was nothing to do I went to the cinema in the center. It was Wednesday morning and I was told that there are already 2 people but the session will only take place at 4 o’clock, so I paid for two tickets.

Session: I sat in the darkest row on the couch in 5 minutes a girl and a guy come in, I am not noticed. They start kissing and this is how the whole film continues. The titles begin and I go out and pass by them. They ask, “D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-

I: Yes...

The Australian rock band AC/DC has changed vocalist.
Instead of Brian Johnson, whom doctors banned from performing under the threat of hearing loss, in the world tour Rock Or Bust will go ex-songwriter Guns N' Roses Axel Rose.

Yuri Losa was outraged:
Why wasn’t I offered to be a new vocalist?! to
I’t be singing with these idiots anyway, but could I offer it?! to

Snow White and the Hunter 2. If because of the mirror the knights killed each other, then the Goblins killed each other, why not give the mirror to the bad guys and just wait?

From discussion of applications, with artificial intelligence:
A once visited link to a funny gif of rubber dildo can turn your life into a nightmare simply because the smart system will suddenly decide that you are looking for them. And by chance, by clicking on one of the banners about horse sports, you will generally be surprised to find a clutter at home, suspiciously reminiscent of a horse dild, because of this. The system based on your preferences has already driven the courier to the nearest sex shop and kindly purchased a horse dildo. And here comes the grandmother with the children, you have this cloth in your hands. Something went wrong? You just trust the system too much.

On the 20th Street. This is Bats! The spring came unnoticed.
YYY: Most importantly, let’s not later prove that it was actually summer

I take a bowl of strawberries.
Composition: strawberries, sugar, water + 4 additives of something there. Further: may contain soybeans, shrimp, celery o_o, bones.
At the end of the table of the nutritional value of the slice: 68% sugar, 40% fruit (total 108% not counting water, etc.))...
They don’t even know what they are doing :)

The story happened to me personally a few years ago.
WOW: It is with these words that I always begin to tell stories in which there are a lot of lies.

The one that is stronger. I had a friend, took a guy from my wife with a child, married him and was very surprised to find out that she was worth getting pregnant, her husband went to the left. Probably nothing predicted.

I look at a group on one well-known website, and there everyone cheats on car details.
I read without a pencil: "I sell questions in person", I think: whoever does not trade, already sell questions

Poor lovers, how heavy is your part.
My wife doesn’t let me marry you.
There is no wife at all.

Bartlby: What about work right away? In short, I hired two slaves who would be in line for the design of the fire lake, and now I hired two more slaves who would pack the lake in tanks.
[19:35] The Great Britain: A artificial lake?
[19:35] Bartlby: Well, this is not a lake, according to the technicians, it is a lake for fire extinguishing at ash
[19:36] Bartlby: what a fool invented to extinguish gsm water is still a mystery for me but fig with him

At the stop today listened to the dialogue of mother with daughter (2 class, mother about 40+ in view):
You see, if you had studied well, you would have to pray less.
2) Tell me the device of the begemot.
- Feet, head, body, tail, ears...
......
The Behemoth still has herb teeth because he eats grass.
Stars are lighted lamps that can only be seen in the dark.

Due to the moon's gravity, the Earth's rotation is slowing down.
As a result, the length of the day increases by approximately 2 milliseconds in 100 years.
So those who are constantly not sleeping out, or who are forever lacking time for anything - tolerate a little, in just 180 million years the day will be longer by an entire hour!

I was missing in the shopping center on the bench, waiting for my wife.

One hand controls a bunch of bags, the other eats ice cream.

Two men sat behind my back, apparently waiting for their wives too, and I heard their conversation without beginning and, unfortunately, without end:

... and when?

In this Saturday. Come sure, Valya will prepare everything - everything, it will be fun.

I don’t promise, Andrew, but I will try very hard. What anniversary do you have?

Oh, let me think... sixteen, exactly sixteen, or even seventeen.

It is FIG. This is deadline. What kind of wedding do you have? The wooden, there or the pebble?

Yes, fuck you know, I’m not about that.

Andrew, how did you meet Wally?

A is a funny story. Did I not tell? Listen to:

I went from work, watched, Valka was crying and something there was fighting with a cell phone. Naturally, I didn’t know that she was Valya, and in general, at first she wasn’t special to me... No love at first sight, absolutely. But crying, let me think, I ask, maybe I need help? I asked.

At that moment, she fought forever with her former goat. There was some. She insulted and in hysteria immediately tried to kill him in her phone, well, the babes had their "myths." She didn’t get a niche. And then I was drawing with her help, and she asked me, say you are a man, should better understand the technique.

I, of course, say, "What your question, madam, a couple of stuff, now we will do everything" took the mobile phone in my hands, and I think, "Where am I going?"

I didn’t have my cell phone at the time, I only dreamed. I never held it in my hands before.

I look and so and so, and in the menu really there is nowhere to "delete contact". I reviewed it all, no. Valya stands, waits, praises me, which is said to be good when a man in the technique thinks. Even crying stopped.

There was no way back, I couldn't say, like - fuck him knows, ask someone else who is better "shocking", and I'm just a phone-free miser.

And the time goes by, I am all sweaty, but I pretend that it is necessary - the task is difficult, more difficult than to connect to the Pentagon. In short, I can’t remove it anyway, but I found the item “edit”, and I wandered – instead of the name of that goat I wrote “Andrei”, and instead of his number, I killed my home, like I wanted.

I give the phone back, she is pleased: “Thank you very much! Has it been removed?”

I say, “Of course, I deleted it, and there is no trace, and at the same time I recorded your phone and your name. In any case.”

She opened her eyes and said, “I need you there!” In what case? I did not ask you to write anything! Now go wash it!”

I was, of course, "shifted" from such greed, I sent her away and added, "Well, I don't like it, then wash yourself, the sheep is stupid!"

He turned and went on...



From the neighboring shop a woman’s voice was heard:

“Andrew, let’s go and see, I found you something!

The men behind my back obediently stood up and forever took away from me the end of this wonderful story of great love.



By the author http://storyofgrubas.livejournal.com/

I am currently at the box office in Gulliver. There is a young couple around 20 years old. She loudly said, “Look, Chupa-chops small 10 rubles! In the past, it cost 10 rubles. Is it like that? Can you imagine what will happen when we have children? A small Chupa-chops will probably be 50 rubles! " And so quietly: “How to live...”

The other day was a medical commission, and I was very surprised that there was no grandmother in the ranks in the hospital. I guess where did it all go? After I get on the bus (the next on the country route) - Here are they!

>> You know you are dealing with specific
Legal matters of property. You are not
Family psychologist and not a priest, stay
within its competence.

As far as I know, she is a lawyer at the company. She does not provide paid legal services to the population, and in good will give advice to employees - in a private way. You can give, you can not give. It can be upset and send offensive, in eë competence these advice are not included.

My grandmother was a cook, and sometimes she was filmed on TV for a show about mom and baby. Once she showed me a recipe and said, “To do this, you need to take whey oil.” And the leader asks: "What oil is this? I have never heard of it". And the grandmother answers: "This is specially prepared butter. We heat it to a certain temperature, and when we squeeze it in the hand, it between the fingers does so - Vzzkik!"

The psychopath. My colleague and I take a candidate exam in psychiatry. Answering on the topic "the method of polygraphy and its application", the postgraduate student explains the history of a lie detector. It tells about how in ancient India, the investigator, answering the question of the judge, beat the gong, and by the sound of the blow determined whether he said the truth; how in ancient China determined a lie by the degree of dry rice in the mouth of the suspect, etc. My colleague and I did not know this, and we spotted from the depth of her knowledge (the method with gong is almost a complete analogue of the combined motor technique of A. Luria). When asked how she knows this, the graduate student, humbly squeezed, answers that she specifically studied a lot of literature on this topic. Without a doubt, we put “excellent.” A week later, the 11-year-old son literally in the same terms tells me the same story of lying detection and says that he learned it from the "physics" series.



Conclusion: Good began to do cartoons, allow to pass the candidate in the 3rd year of graduate studies.)

When I was 16, my parents didn’t allow my boyfriend to stay with me, and I inscenized his care by knocking through the front door and hiding his clothes. Before everyone went to bed, he was hiding behind a curtain on the window. Once my dad came into my room and said, "I won't bother you," he sat all night behind the comp.