bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112115
 15.04.2015
You will not escape from fate.
In Soviet times, a family couple lived on the 6th floor... A drunk man fell out of the balcony twice... by a miracle remained alive, even without fractures... The wife begged... somehow managed to exchange the apartment from the 6th to the 1st floor from sin away... Marking the invasion of the new apartment, the man again fell out the window and died, hitting his head on the border...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112114
 15.04.2015
Was it Mongolian?
Under the Mongols, the mail worked and roads were developed, the robbers who worked on the road did not exist at all and the only one of them entered mythology. All the people were free and literate, and communicated via mail. Then came some peddlers and spoiled everything (c)
Most importantly, I forgot the main thing! The phrase "as I remember, there was a..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №112113
 15.04.2015
I can't help but ask the Debbal 17039.
Man, were you really going to make her an offer after 4 years of molded plates, unwashed dishes and seeds for dinner?
Well, tell me at least, what did she do in bed that you didn’t send her in a couple of months?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112112
 15.04.2015
A few small remarks.
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
And is it not the salt that is for adult girls and not schoolgirls of 12 years???? Not every parent will like that his daughter dances like a Brazilian shalawa.
In general, every dance has its time and place, and with a aunt who made herself a choreographer and so it's clear - you whisper and get angry? So you know what you earned, and why, and for what kindergartens you taught them - let the investigation work out the salary.
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
All so only they are not 12, but 16-18, and not vice versa, but with the consent of parents, who knew what hardening is. And it was not an upset parent who put it out, but a kind of upset left-handed shit from the mountain, whispering at dancing girls. But the message is correct - it is necessary to prohibit dancing until the age of 30, and only the Russian people, no belly dances, plastic stripes and other things, and then there is a joke prepared. We have a prostitution that goes from dancing, do you respected expert?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112111
 15.04.2015
What a time? You say that you smoke - compassionately shake their head, say, poor girl. If you say that you are drinking, they will answer that not everyone has a head to shake. You smoke grass - well, everyone is resting in their own way and everything is so compassionate. Even when you say that you are in the ass - the maximum, the hand stops at the meeting.
But it is worth to say that you, man, do not eat meat - holy water in your mouth with cries "Here is the bitterness of a sick bastard!".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112110
 15.04.2015
>>Look, you have drawn a circle on the table in which all the seeds can fit - it is a man. Then you put the seeds on the table. Something is in the circle, something is not. What you don’t get, you put in a glass – it’s not viable.

You explain wrong.
Imagine that between Earth and Mars around the Sun in an elliptical orbit rotates invisible even to the most powerful telescopes glass of seeds.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112109
 15.04.2015
I am going to make a gift to my boyfriend, ask his friend to know the length of the brush. We discuss how to do it.

D: Can really silently take and measure a rope of any kind.
I: Fuck the imagination, stop
D is?
I: I just imagine you picking it up and measuring it somewhere.
I: The Silence
I: very hard
I: The Nordic
I: On his question, Brother, what fucking thing? You answer - "I have been touched by enlightenment" and go to sunset

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112108
 15.04.2015
But from what body Svetlana suddenly Fatima is a mystery!* is

It is from Bodrum.
Actually Svetlana = Fotinia

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №112107
 15.04.2015
Atheists can use their laws to explain how a secondometer works, for example, and they think they’ve learned everything. At the same time, the possible presence of the watchmaker, which designed the secondometer, as if in any formulas is not necessarily at all.

= is
Want to find the cause? So let’s go on.
Who designed the clock? God is? God is no one?
Has the desire to find the cause suddenly disappeared?

They invented a coffin and wrote down everything unexplained on it.
Why is the water wet, the sky blue, and the deputies are %s?
The atheist will say, “The devil knows it.” The believer will say: by the will of God.

And note, for challenging the opinion of atheists no one will be burned on fire.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112106
 15.04.2015
Aaa: Believe it, there is nothing worse than being a child in a teaching or medical environment. Especially authoritarian.

bbb: I would cut it down to "there is nothing worse than being a child" :-) The hardest time in a human life.

ccc: The main thing is not to reduce to "there is nothing worse than being" =)

Bbb: Buddhists have reduced and do not complain :-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112105
 15.04.2015
Comments on the video "Bees and Winnie Pooh.Orenburg."
Despite the brilliant creative design, the theme of beekeeping has not been uncovered!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112104
 15.04.2015
Since our warehouse territory drivers are constantly passing by, we decided that the fence should be written an identification sign in the form of the inscription "X*Y". And all the drivers constantly call and say: "You see X*Y? You are here."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112103
 15.04.2015
Dialogue about missing classes:
Why not be in a couple?
He lay in the hospital.
With what?
With the pressure!
Where does the pressure come from at such a young age?
Inherited from my grandmother.

Back in the USSR (c)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112102
 15.04.2015
From the news:
Siluanov and Kudrin approved the increase of the retirement age to 65 years
"In eastern Moscow registered ninth case of rabies"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112101
 15.04.2015
The key to success should be to the motorcycle in the ass.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112100
 15.04.2015
I go out of the garage and see a Tajik with some sort of doomed stoic face repairing the first staircase at the entrance to the entrance, which was all the time swinging. Having watched for a while how he was trying to pull the concrete rebar from under the stairs, I pushed him away, took a break and with one move pulled the rebar. He gave him a break and in the best of traditions said, "You can't do anything" and proudly went to the entrance. And the Tajik stands, lowering his hands, and says to me, “Uncle, I’ve stuck him there.”

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112099
 15.04.2015
I remember when I was a kid, I laughed so much when the wolf said, "Well, wait!" He photographed himself. It was so strange!
But who could have thought...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112098
 15.04.2015
Where is Bukhara?

-Remember the slogan of the fighters against alcoholism in the mid-1980s: "Thirstness is the norm of life!"

That is just understandable. I don’t know, where is the bull?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №112097
 15.04.2015
Listening to a colleague’s conversation:
“A, yes, let’s meet at 6.30 then, well, at 18.30, what? You can’t, and when can you? What can you do at 18.30? And when then? When can you? At half the seventh? Oh well" Well, yes, let’s go to mid-seventh then!"
c) Cheshire Omega

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №112096
 15.04.2015
XXX: I read about cyanose, interesting
YYY: I always forget what the period is now
XXX: When you fill out the documents, this is
XXX: What an era is it today
YYY: Everything is like that: well, Kenozoi yeah, ept
XXX yes ?
YYY: What is the period? Fuck the fourth, you’re crazy. Can you see in the lower right corner?

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