On the bed with cabbage rose - weed.

My colleague had a friend who once bought a used Mercedes.
The car is not new, and naturally had various minor cracks. In particular, there was no company emblem on the wheel (the most triangular star in the circle). The man was stressed for some reason, and since he was working in the production, he got this star on the machine, chromied it, and he put it on the wheel. In other words, beauty. The only difference is that the factory original is a light bronze strip, and it was made a heavy stainless steel stamp.
And it would be nothing, but one day he got into a small accident, a safety pillow worked in the car, and this crafty star struck him in the forehead and cut off his skin with its edges.
In the hospital, the forehead was swallowed, everything healed pretty quickly. There were no traces of scars except a slight bleaching (the structure of the skin at the site of the scattering changed), which in normal conditions was virtually invisible.
But since then, if this man became red (from shame, anger, drunk vodka, etc.). by p.On his forehead was the white Mercedes emblem.

Why are our officials and oligarchs moving to England?
- There is a left-hand movement and it is easier to adapt to them, as in Russia
They drive on the opposite track.

You did it in vain, you Han.
Masterstop: I know where you live
Masterstop: I know your phone number
Gassasin: You will do nothing to me
I Know Your Warcraft Password
Gassasin: I am sorry!! I am not to blame!! I am coincidental! What should I do to repay the guilt???? to

by SMS:
I can’t meet at the airport... I feel like I’m flying away myself and want to fuck the whisker.

Nicole: Going to get rid of anything?
Damn, not in that window!
El gato solar: Are you shaking out the window? O_O

The employee searched for a certificate all morning, all pause. Then found it. On the certificate is a paper. It says "Hide and forget!"

I worked as an operator in support of a local provider. In the evening there is a call, at that end of the wire (judging by the voice) an adequate intelligent male person:
I-Company xxx, operator yyy, hello.
He-Hello, the ZZZ contract number does not work the Internet.
I-Go to the menu "Start", control panel, network connections...Local network connection is enabled?
He-Sekundotko...(seemingly, puts the phone on the table and screams loudly to someone in the apartment)...Sasha, fucking shame, we don’t have a fuck connected!!!!...(Taking the phone back in hand) Thank you very much, we got it done. All the good.

We can work with you in fitness clubs.
Who is this...?
The demotors.

The Monday. The morning. of work. Put him out of the wild, and let him answer phone calls. Everything is very simple: take the telephone and say "AutoCity, good day!" So this muddle at the first call gives out: "Call, goodbye..." They were lying in the whole department...

I recently met the most intelligent anti-Semitic slogan in my life. On the garage black painted carefully "Judaism - bad!"

Oh, and the day today: first not on that foot, then not on that rod! c) Katana

A woman is always 18!! to
He:... extra kilograms to a thin figure))

Research shows that men are more sexually active than women. They have sex 102 times a year, while women have sex 91 times.

The most radical feminist organizations in the U.S. are demanding the replacement in all texts (including scientific) of the notion of woman (female) with the notion of “vaginal citizen of America”!” A serious request, right?
YYY: I am categorically for. Instead of “man and woman” they will speak “citizen and subcitizen”.

I remember once one of my acquaintances (journalist) decided "for science" to conduct a social survey among male friends on the topic "with what frequency men think about breasts". The unconditional leader of the hit-parade turned out to be a copy, which, after hearing the question on the phone "and tell me as a man, do you often think about breasts?" in full seriousness asked: "In the sense of what? What about women?"
O_O

Popular song by 4-year-old boy:
"And I’m going all that way. and longtime!and "

XXX: And I think, can you fly to that Iceland for five days? Someone has been there - volcanoes, geysers, silk...
YYY: and find out what the grey is about.

The question:
I’m one of 95 percent of people who laugh at jokes about Linux without ever seeing it in their eyes.

What is the accent on the word Ubuntu?

The answer:
On "u" you guys! I didn’t know it for a long time, but my friends told me!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Finally passed the second Dragon Age, and two days before the exam! You can start preparing)
Fable 3 is now...
HH: I hate you

diamond