bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №81732
 20.05.2013
- We bought quas, cucumbers, greens, eggs and cream. Guess what will we do now?
As usual. to go!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №81731
 20.05.2013
This morning I decided to download Earthfire from the tracker. As usual, I go to the all-known site, go auto-fill, press "enter", and the site gives out that no-no, don’t chase, David Blane.
I was shocked, as if I hadn’t changed the password. "Have you forgotten your password?"
I receive a letter with a new password. I copy and insert. It does not fit. I am even more shocked.
And here my look falls on the address to me in the letter...
2.5 years was login: "Zaebali_So_Svoimi_Loginam" (last "i" did not fit when registering)
Now it became login: "And you are like us..."
The curtains :D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №81730
 20.05.2013
Oh my God, what do these people think of!
NNN: Yes, people are like that. They always come up with something... That vaginal trainer, that atomic bomb... And you’re not humans?What planet are you from?

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81729
 20.05.2013
One colleague at the hospital, the second should get in 1C under his name. Calls, knows the password on the phone. And then our dialogue:
He has a password 8-800-2000-600
This is an Avon phone.
and AGA
After a few minutes
Now tell me, why do two adult men remember Avon phones?

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81728
 20.05.2013
The C Forum:
As a child, I never killed mosquitoes. I thought they had their wife and children at home, and if I killed him and who would feed them.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81727
 20.05.2013
From Habr:
1: Moreover, in skype and conversations are listened, so encryption in skype is a myth, use PGP
2: Who are you listening to?
Organizations of three letters
4 of KVN?! to
5 by Jack!
The WWF!
Chapter 7: WTF
8 of FSF!
The LSD!

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81726
 20.05.2013
Mother of Anastasia Volochkova told the truth about the wealth of her daughter! Specifications "

Where is the button "HELP" next to "Details"?

[ + 16 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81725
 20.05.2013
The refrigerator is empty. I think like something to eat with minimal labor expenses. If you go to the store, you will have to dress up, go down and then cook. Going to dinner with your parents is to the other end of the city. order pizza at home - you still have to go down to remove money from the card. I will have to sit on a diet. I am a girl.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №81724
 20.05.2013
Are you interested in Lego and helicopters? Wait)))Do you think of a banal pyramid or cube in which you need to promote the figures so immediately and give it to your child and you will never play)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №81723
 20.05.2013
I gave my mom last year at work at DR a wonderful fig tree... the size of our cat. They put this miracle of nature to my room, but the cat decided that there should be no plants in my room (and I am completely in solidarity with her in this regard!Therefore, the roasted mouth eaten the bush for a month before the root. Mom a year heated the hope that something else will grow there. The cat, in turn, does not forget a couple of times a month to squeeze the teeth on the remaining dry stool, so that no green shoots have any chance to revive life.
I'm thinking, maybe this year my mom (or more accurately, the cat) will give another ficus? I am amused by this buttle, and I have to pasture somewhere furry cattle... in the bushes of apartment vases, for example!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №81722
 20.05.2013
Ray: My father told me. At night, he bombed the city, two drunk men near the restaurant stopped him.
“Listen,” they say, “will you not bring our friend? Literally two houses, he is drunk simply, will not get himself...300 rubles will give.
The father was surprised, he said, you two heads healthy, do not pull away - two houses are all.
It turns out, this monster came to be drunk on the rolls) quarreled and lost the ability to move deadly. Although, in my opinion, it is even easier - shake his arms on his shoulders and shake it, much better) I would in the place of my father and advised to do so, and would watch the process)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №81721
 20.05.2013
by Alexei:
I open the box with the shoes, get them and start looking for instructions with the disk.

by Lenok:
very cool =)

by Alexei:
They are not!

Wear no drivers.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81720
 20.05.2013
The husband decided to give a dog, which he himself brought to the house, motivated by the fact that it is expensive in maintenance and takes a lot of effort. I was in shock and tears. Will the betrayal of the dog be considered a full reason for divorce?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №81719
 20.05.2013
SHE: Now a guy was jumping under the window, depicting as if he was on a hammer or a horse and singing: "Iiiii Haaaa, Iii Haaaa"
by philanthropist..............

See also: xD
These are foreign princes, don’t pay attention.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №81718
 20.05.2013
XXX: The question remains, and what is the man still dissatisfied with, since he is so irritated by all kinds of lazy people, fools and alcoholics.

yyy: The standard complex of the believer. Man believed that his way of life was the only right, but this idea was foreign to his consciousness (introduced or trained).
Such a person is subconsciously afraid to realize that his belief is wrong (well you understand - not unfounded).
This leads to the express desire to pity others or laugh at them (who is so bad). Acts of ridicule or pity (preferably public), coupled with attempts to self-exalt, will protect the psyche of the patient from the fear that he will be considered wrong. Even if no one supports him, they’re all just jealous.
And even if such a person is on the right track (family and career are not such a bad benchmark), he still remains a vertebrate, valuation-dependent void with a puberty level of self-awareness.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №81717
 20.05.2013
Pleased to comment on the release of the new Kalina-2 in Yapa:
Wow, the beauty is what – “Phoenix”, “Columbian green”, “Port Wine”, “Ice” and “Iceberg”, “Diplomat”, “Venus”, “Magma”... And the quality as always – “brown guano”?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №81716
 20.05.2013
I recently visited a friend in the hospital. It is in neurology. A couple of days ago, a very busy grandfather was placed in his room. The case was so...
A doctor comes and asks his grandfather:
Do you have frequent attacks?
What are the attacks, Comrade Colonel?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №81715
 20.05.2013
Why do you call customer wishes strange? Why are these half-measures, we should immediately call them dumbobic!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №81714
 20.05.2013
I wonder if you are bitten by a vampire, will the place of the bite itch?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №81713
 20.05.2013
You know, there is a law of student compression: I can sleep on the same bed at the same time or 5 normal people, or 11 students.

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