What do you know about "reworked"
xxx: I somehow, going to bed, before falling asleep the record in the fumigator smelt on it thermopasts

Typical conversation in the jury:
Client: Why did you include the clause of liability for damage in our contract? We will only inspect your device with your eyes for malfunction and remove the indication!
I (stolenly): That is to say, only for the "eye", do you want a bunch of babies with us every month?
The silence.
I:... Or will you still check for the malfunction of the pen and even screw up something?
Customer (darkly): with handcuffs...
Here are the bats!

How to win a girl who has a boyfriend in the 21st century:
1st Take a guy to a girl.
2nd to abandon him.
Three To win a girl’s heart.
4 is To strengthen the relationship, tell how that guy treated you badly and
convince her that he is not worthy of both of you.

Yesterday we watched hockey USA-Russia. Close to the end of the 3rd period, a man from the neighboring department looks, approaches a comrade and watches at 8:3 in his monitor. In trouble, the monitor looks at me and complains:
Do you have the same account?

RT @too_white I do not trust LG. Khabensky, won, is changing the phone for the second time in a month.

to this
Files submitted by: Dissertation.docx
XXX: I put it on my desk. suddenly who sits down and sees - oh u xxx dissertation on the desk. by Nihua
yyy: And open in the hope that there is porn and there is a real dissertation
______
Oh, what a pervert you need to be in order to look for porn in a word file :D

Husband of son (1 year and 4 months):
When he started pinning the brick, I realized it was time to buy the ball.

“Vitalik, I’m sorry, but I slept with your girlfriend.
Who are you? So she needs.

The Pilot

I was stopped by a hovercraft (I flew 250 on an empty track). Asked for documents. I sent him a commercial pilot certificate. He broke up, checked the real rights and let go.

How many miles from the gauge did you stop at the speed of 250? Or did he dream of you?

I sit at work. The heat is terrible, the doors for the door. Suddenly a loud voice comes from the neighboring room: “Let’s go, little... Oh, how good!”
I look cautiously because of the squid - the employee has excavated somewhere a small, barely alive, prehistoric fan and rejoices that he blows her up...

Axsor: The Czech hockey team has a player named Nakladal. I watched the Czech-Canada match and heard from a commentator a stunning phrase: "I put pressure on the Canadians". I would also be under the pressure of the Canadians!

At work we sit after lunch... rubbing straight.
A colleague says: fun for cats... they can sit and sleep on a chair.
I: Well, it’s all about the chair. You can also find it to sleep.
He: No, it won’t fit in the office. If I wanted to sleep, I turned into a cat. The boss comes in and you are the cat.
Another colleague: and cats can’t be mocked!

Fuck, the code is a coffin on the coffin. Not coding, but cost-oriented programming.

xxx> remembered how in the 7th grade we were told to learn a poem "anything", and asked then about other subjects very much
xxx> I learned, went out to the board and told with the appropriate expression
yyy> and what?
xxx and xxx;
The epithelium.

No need for inscriptions for my dust.
Just write here - "he was and is not his".

and all.
yyy> ah, that’s great :)
xxx> I performed the task exactly as the instructor said ("learn any"), but I was put a pair, it turns out, it was necessary to be more, not less than two 4-steps (although in the technical task nothing was said about the volume). Since then I prefer to clarify the details of important projects that are only in the mind of the customer/user.

Conversation by phone of the manager (M) with a young client (K):

K: And I am that, hop! Your grandmother threw you, and the guy is all a bunch...What do you have there?
M: It is from the wall that the portrait of Pushkin has fallen and beats on the floor in hysteria.

The team of the Russian national hockey team is being negatively impacted "Transmission on the first channel": the Russian national hockey team is weakened, defenseless, slowed down and cursed.

Galatea23: By the way, about people-accidents. Yesterday Tanya told me that she was going to do an audit with an agent on his territory, and almost gave up laughter.
Galatea23: Katya, the agent, first, coming out of the car, with all the doors fucked in the face of the door, so far none of them know how it happened. While Katya and Tanya were laughing, Katya took the bulb out of the bag and bite it, apparently very royally - the bulb somewhat cut off her lip and nose, Katya begins to flow blood.
Galatea23: Yesterday I laughed a lot at this story.
And today I poured out a very hot tea, and my nose was very cold, and I drove it to the edge of the cup, and I will smell the boiling water.
Galatea23: The Sophia was swallowed

Aglan: Onishchenko burned
Aglan: The disease begins as an acute respiratory infection, or as a diarrhea infection, starts with difficulty breathing, lung edema and death.
Aglan: Make a start!

Smokers are delighted today. I go into the store, a aunt stands with a bag full of cigarettes, asks me: Do you smoke? No is.
I had pink dreams. I go into the store, a aunt stands with a bag of honeymoon........ and says: Hi, you eat ice cream? We offer you to exchange the rest of your ice cream for our new one. I would break.

Dear Tankers! Do you want to visit a thematic website/forum?