I was 5-6 years old. My mom is at work, my dad and I are at home. The trouble did not predict anything, went out to the store, locked me on the key. I put something on the plate that I don’t remember exactly. After two minutes the door closed, the nightmare began. The bowl burned (seemingly, the oil fell on the bowl), I poured a bowl of water on it out of fear, straight on the plate, the bowl was thrown into the dishwasher and poured water, the smoke was... But this is all nonsense, I don’t know what I clicked in my head, but I was so scared and decided that the apartment needs to be left urgently.



At the time, we had two doors, the first wooden and the second iron. Nothing came to my mind better than to break the door (on the second iron I did not think then), the warehouse right in the corridor, the tail where I knew, grabbed it and began to tear it. According to the 4 to 5 points, I did well.



Dad came, almost fainted, didn't fall, calmed, about the tail and the fire of the mother prohibited strictly, as a result, about the mini fire of the bowl mom learned immediately, I didn't have time to wash everything well, the smell of the bowl, I don't remember. But she didn’t see the door right away. The door was almost always open when we were home.



I remember all the fragments, I remember the scandal, I remember my mom screaming and my dad justified that he was not there for just 15 minutes. What I thought about when I was about to open the second iron door, I don’t remember anything. But here is the wild fear of a possible fire and a tail, I still remember.

I remembered, I was small, 6 years old, my parents left my computer on, to play in the pasion. Shut down, I have to turn it off. And how? The fuck knows him. I was told that a long work could burn. I walk around him, the house is empty. I remember pressing something, but I have no idea. I was upset, I almost cried. I also remember that it cannot be turned off from the router. And time goes by, it works... Well, I think I’ll turn off the socket, it’s better than if it burns. I pulled out, the monitor clicks went, the static probably. Well, I think, fucking, broke (the precious thing was trusted, and that ended). Sit down on a chair and let go.



And then the cat approached me, she is wild, ruthless, and here she will put her neck, and she will blush, and whistle like a tractor. I never gave a puppy again. I kissed her for half an hour and calmed down. The computer then turned on normally and worked for a long time.

My sister and I at a very young age already knew how to turn on the TV (Horizon-107 was with us, and yes, we turned it off from the socket), but we were forbidden to turn it on ourselves, and in general to include anything in the socket. Thus e. Any device, in case of which, we could turn off, including the plate.



However, we had no idea where my mom was putting the cacao out of the pot, because we were unfamiliar with the toilet due to age. And one day, when the parents went somewhere, there was a moment when the pot was filled with fecal masses. We decided to help our parents, and empty the pot on our own, and the only place we knew for the junk was the dishwasher in the bathroom, as we saw my mom washing the pot there. The waste was fused greatly, but there was a problem with the cacao. They succeeded in falling out of the pot, but they did not get into the sink for some reason. They didn’t get there even when we stuck them there with a toothbrush. At the same time, they still left wonderful brown traces, which became a surprise for us.



When the parents returned, we, waving in a not very clean but empty pot, ran to boast of our independence. From our point of view, the shell smashed by the goose was merely a technical moment that we had not yet been able to cope with, because, I repeat, we thought the pot should be sprinkled there. But instead of joyful shouts of amazement, they felt that the parents were somehow unnaturally stressed.



No one, of course, insulted us, but on the same day we learned about such a thing as a toilet, and about its many useful properties.

I remember when I was left with my paralyzed grandfather at 4 (maybe 5) and a pipe broke in the bathroom... I was terribly scared then. I don’t remember how it all ended, I only remember myself in the bathroom in rubber boots and with an umbrella. I wasn’t a very smart child.

I have a shop in the area, owned by my aunt. There is a young saleswoman who works there, we wander with her, there are all sorts of jokes, gifts, such a flirt is easy. So there I usually take every variety of details and this is all recorded in "the same notebook" and at the end of the week I calculate. Since I got condoms there... new rules in the store. “We don’t sell in debt.”

Like many children, I was sent to my grandparents in the summer. There was little entertainment at the time, one of them, for example, runs into neighboring gardens (I now understand that someone else’s work needs to be appreciated, then I didn’t think about it).

Now the essence.

There was a bath in the back yard. Behind the bathroom there was a neighboring fence, and behind the fence... and behind the fence a small pebble in which we frequently visited with my brother. Just then, my brother and I decided to arrange another assault on the neighbor’s good, and when I crossed the fence in the direction of my territory, the boot slipped, and I hanged myself... Hanged on a cap... The brother was instructed to save me at all costs. Most of all, I was afraid to burn in theft of other people’s strawberries. My brother honestly tried to free me from captivity, but all his attempts were futile. The only solution was to call the parents.



Next story on behalf of parents.

“We sit down and eat soup, and I see Egorka running from the backyard alone. He enters the house with the words: "Aunt of Light, Uncle Seroj! There, Vadik hanged himself in the bathroom.

What was in the hands falls on the floor... Everyone runs to the place of suicide and sees the hanging.



Conditionally speaking, my brother saved me from obsession, but the submission of information at the time crumbled).

The youngest (14 years old):
We were shown three films at school: about the harm of tobacco, about the harm of alcohol and about the harm of drugs.
The oldest (25 years old):
Have you been told about the harm of sex?

There are exceptional individuals who are convinced that they can conduct the laws of physics and electricity in particular, and what is typical is that some of them actually manage to conduct electricity.

You got with your +17 in the office, about the imagination of the problem in general, in the ass of your +17, why when I open the windows in my car (outside +30-40) you voiced what blows? And in the office, the dirty condie is wrapped at +15-17
Normal temperature +22-25, and not sick, not cold
and who is upset - open the box for the night in the office, so that your smell and carbon dioxide are ventilated.
Urdue
There is quite a real allergy to the cold, and it does not help to wrap in something.
and there is still poor blood circulation and low pressure, which is not just treated, and in the conditions of stationary office work is still not real
and such people your "comfortable"+17 like a knife in the throat
You are hot? buy a personal fan with power from usb, the price is 50-200 Russian rubles, and you are not "hot", and we are not cold

I understand one thing about frostbite and penguins.
Here the frostbite is cold, they want to have at least 20 degrees in the office. The penguins say they are crazy. Air is not enough, so how do you, guys, help the air conditioner that drives the same air? From cooling to 17 degrees, it doesn’t get fresh.

*image about vegans who feel great* - comment:

Egor: I’m a meat-eater, but the jokes about vegans already hurt my head.
Denis: Egor, my head hurts from meat eating. Vegan people feel great.

XX: You understand that I’m late and can’t react calmly?
Drink a new drink.
xxx: thank you, but I had constipation a little differently last time, and to calm down, gently speaking, could not.
YYY: Oh, to the word from Persen, the opposite – it went well. There was no tranquility either.
xxx: great drugs, however: calm will not help, but will occupy the brain with new exciting problems

XXX: Cabbage, shops... My grandmother told me that children appear if two people in the bowl clog and close. And the children there in the bank type homuncules are planted. My grandmother had a fantasy! :)

Best of all my grandfather on Victory Day congratulated Microsoft...
YYY :?? to
xxx: May 9 his computer with the pirate seven voluntarily updated to the face of a dozen

The xxx:
Tanja was upset, yesterday on the salute called, and I was sitting in a bear wrapped in a bear

The xxx:
The whole day today.

The xxx:
I changed my sister to skin.

A: What is your cat’s name?
H is different. Now is Serena.
A: Is he a boy at least?

The news reports that a Swiss company has purchased from an Arab right to sell a very large diamond weighing 404 carats.
Yyy: I’m a man though not superstitious, but I’t buy a diamond with such a weight for anything.
XXX Why? It’s not 666 carats.
YYY: Well imagine, suddenly it will be stolen?
Yyy: And then, as they say, the end is a bit predicted: 404 Not Found ;)

About the dates of Christmas and Easter (I don’t know who answered):

Because Easter in Christianity is a more ancient holiday than Christmas. Easter was initially linked to the celebration of Peisakh, because in the Gospel of Christ the Tolls were crucified on the day of Peisakh, the Tolls on the day before this (the Gospels themselves differ in this). Since the dates on the solar calendar still nobody knew (they didn't even know what year it was, more precisely, which era this year should be counted), the connection to the lunar calendar was clear. And only in the fourth century the dates of celebrations were broken, so as not to be celebrated together with the Jews (this is exactly how it is formulated in the resolution of the church council). But still the attachment to the first full moon after the spring equinox left. Only the holiday now was to be on Sunday, and in no case to coincide with Paisach (if it coincided, it was postponed to the next full moon).
And the date of Christmas for a long time was not established at all, and different Christian churches celebrated it at different times. According to the solar calendar. There was no Jewish connection to that date.
There is no logic here)))))))

xxx: Before you get married, calculate the cost of a daily housekeeper with the function of washing, cleaning, and cooking.
You will be surprised after the divorce.
YYY: I changed my mind, you may not come.

At work, I often repair the roofs. Our "delicate creatures" periodically tear the socket out of the rotor, as if it had not been deliberately twisted (ah, from all the rope to the rope - chubby!!) is
I make repairs without disconnecting the electricity, singing: "I will kiss the wires and I will not be hit by electricity," which causes horror in our ladies.