bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129913
 25.06.2016
xxx: I am still impressed by the pediatric conference six months ago, in which one of the reports smoothly crossed into protective stories about homeopathy and water memory. I still spit.
xxx: I was delighted by one thing: After the meeting "Colleagues, do you have any questions to the rapporteur?" from the first rows was a quiet but clear "Yes. Are you fucking serious?I do not know whether this question was answered, as I was urgently evacuated from the room so as not to get stuck with Facebook spams to death.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129912
 25.06.2016
xxx: I wanted to buy an aluminum strap, searched through the internet. So I now on all sites offer to buy aluminum in alloys. Do it yourself, in short.
YYY: I was just looking for something on Linux on your computer...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129911
 25.06.2016
The relationship between young women and men of age

Do you want to have a young, elastic body?and ;)

YYY: It is not special. You can’t talk enough with them, and I’ve already passed the age when I was only interested in sex and nothing but sex. Now I have a desire, as in that anecdote: "and to talk?"

YYY: And in general, I recently calculated the stages of my aging:
I want sex
Talk after sex.
Talk before sex.
I want to talk during sex.
Talk instead of sex.

YYY: And I’m already in Stage 3... here, fucking!and :(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129910
 25.06.2016
The bright green river... What a...

There is such a fucking thing - a crumb. Paint the water in a bright orange color in any concentration. It slides out to check the tanks for hermeticity.
Such here. Spring of 1984. The leaves broke and suddenly the snow fell. It happens. And in the stream next to the school poured out this most crumb. Then the sun came out and it was very warm. The total. +15, green trees, under which an orange river flows between white streams... And all the popies.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129909
 25.06.2016
Nowadays girls are dating guys to post photos on Instagram and say "Look at it I have". They get married because they are afraid of age. They give birth to children when they hear that their friends are becoming mothers.
Guys at this time ride them on cars with the "I am God" and think that for this the girls should give them, absolutely not realizing what a "man" is.

No drop of mind and dignity, neither of them nor of others.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129908
 25.06.2016
Do I think, or are only wives really pissing?
But no, men are like that too. I took the two together...How did he get me.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129907
 25.06.2016
In someone's quote: "I watched porn all day". In the other - "All morning porn watched".

That’s how people do, right? What is Iron?

<><><>>
They are without hands.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129906
 25.06.2016
Pictures of boys sleeping in the audience. Signature "This is how future engineers learn"
This is how they learn everywhere.
Alexander: Moreover, this is mostly how it works.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129905
 25.06.2016
I read "Moscow and Moscovici" by Gillarovsky:

Moving the garden. The earth is suddenly in turmoil. In all the streets
Carriers, cowboys, hamsters climb horses and cling to the very sidewalks. My car stopped at the corner of the garden.
The bell rings far away.
The driver turned to me and whispered frightened:
The Cullers! See also!
The bells are flooding nearby, the thunder and screams are heard.
Along the Sadowa, on the side of Sukharevka, one after the other two rage furiously.
beautiful identical red three in identical new short carriages.
On the one and on the other - rough jammers, in hats with pavilion feathers, with
Gigantic and whispering knots. In each three, two identical
Passenger: on the left the gendarme in the gray shiny, and on the right the young man in the
The State.
The angry three broke, and the street took the usual appearance.
Who is this? I ask.
and gendarmes. From Peter to Siberia. The important ones.
The newcomer goes first. This is his best three. The cooler.

100 years have passed and nothing has changed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129904
 25.06.2016
20671: "Author - an idiot!" (c)
Didn’t you write about the beach and dress code?
Why should I be upset if someone is walking half naked, especially if he is at home?! to
No, of course, there are seemingly ugly people, too fat, dirty, careless - it is unpleasant to look at such, but if it is a tight guy or a slim girl - why not?! to
What if he is in shorts? Even in the city?
Moreover, what difference does it make to you if he walks in cowards at home, if they are clean?
Why do other children care about you? A pedophile?
Modesty is when you don’t hang your golden beads and fur, and shame is when people like you try to teach the lives of normal people.
Loan to be so.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129903
 25.06.2016
After the husband leaves for a business trip, the cleaning should start from the closet. Suddenly, people will come...

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №129902
 25.06.2016
I will tell you about my summer grandmother, the younger sister of my native grandmother. Immediately after school, she learned to be a field sheriff and went to war as a volunteer in the very first week. She served in mobile and front hospitals, did not get to the front only because of a very fragile composition, but was crushed by horrors and sorrow and without a front. Immediately after the war, she was sent to work as a doctor "for everything" in a small village in the northern Urals. There she had an office in the local school, where she vaccinated schoolchildren, treated the entire local population, sometimes took births and even, having obtained a trophy drill, sealed and treated her teeth. There was no other doctor 500 km away. At school, she had a tiny chamber where her box had a bed. During the winter holidays, the school had to be melted, and in the summer it was closed to the castle, and the grandmother came to visit us. So we called her summer grandmother.
Unlike her sister's masterpiece, she was completely helpless in the household, and she had no kitchen, she ate in the school dining room. But she taught us, grandchildren, to understand mushrooms and medicinal plants, to treat all diseases with simple means (other things she did not have), to respect nature and to predict the weather very accurately. Apply tires and treat and bandage wounds, make injections and not be afraid of blood. These skills were very useful in adulthood. Her longstanding dream was to break a small garden and grow useful plants. For many years, she spent the summer in our city. Finally, just before the reconstruction, she was allocated a tiny one and a piece of land. She stopped coming in the summer.
We grew up, got on our feet and wanted to take her with us forever, but she made us understand that she loves us very much, but her place in the Urals.
Many years have passed, our native grandmother has long been gone, and our parents have grown old, it became clear that if I do not visit my summer grandmother now, then it may not come. It was difficult for me to come to her with transport and visa, but everything was resolved. Finally, I get to the village, no one knew the exact address of the relatives, wrote to the school. And the village is no longer 30 bushes, but quite modern, with shops and roads, brick houses. How to search here?
I ask in the mail. There they were not surprised, called me by name, took me to my grandmother almost by the hand.
The old lady with burning eyes and a shameful smile is she. A small apartment, good furniture, an empty kitchen and a tiny refrigerator with a pack of milk and a pack of oil - this is the whole farm. A beautiful flower of medicinal plants. She is very happy with everyone, the pension is quite enough, sometimes she is invited to help in the hospital, especially at childbirth. These are the grandchildren and grandchildren of her first children. How without her!
She needs nothing. But I already know what lacks pensioners: they are accustomed to those products that they eat for many years, and buy a new type of cheese or sausage to try no longer risk. Go to the store, a great choice! We tested four bags. At the exit, a few boring young people simply take away these bags from us and quickly remove them. I stood straight, then realized that the summer grandmother here everyone knows.
Every ass here knows me in the face, it reassured me.
At home, she liked to try everything, but just forbade me to cook lunch.
And by evening the same aunt came from the post office and brought us lunch in a pot for two. Thro the week, various people came and brought us lunch. When I left, I went back to the mail. The postwoman told me that there were three such old men left: a teacher, an old local and my summer grandmother. And one and a half thousand families of the village take care of them, prepare their lunches, invite them to weddings and birthdays.
They saved lives and destiny. The true love of the people will not fail.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №129901
 25.06.2016
Russian footballers after the Euro as provinces who failed in Moscow:
“There’s a very angry rhythm. Everybody is running somewhere.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129900
 25.06.2016
In my life I saw two perfect double beds, one of forged iron thick with my hand and the other in Japanese style - a mattress on a small podium.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №129899
 25.06.2016
One day I got stuck in the elevator. The elevator was old and stinky. The call button didn’t work, it started screaming: “Help, I’m stuck!” All without result. But when I started feeding like a little cat, I heard a revival in the entrance. People called for the elevators and released me. You would see their faces when a girl came out instead of a cat.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129898
 25.06.2016
If the heroes of the film "Ironia of Destiny" had a tradition to go to the bath before the New Year, then aliens took the rule to try to exterminate the earth's people just before July 4 - the day of independence of the United States. It is understandable – the light of American democracy cuts the eyes of the enemies of freedom even from an intergalactic distance. © by

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129897
 25.06.2016
> The website of RRTV. "He flew across the well. It is said that from the trampoline he flew through the air, rose back. If he walked on the earth, he would have stuck here", the eyewitnesses said.
What language is that? I did not understand anything!!! to

Is that what you are going to understand? This is the common language of the rentivoids.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129896
 25.06.2016
For example, a woman does not enjoy sex with her partner, she does not get any pleasure from him (cases of frigidity are not considered). She says openly that she is not pleased. But her partner misses it by the ears and continues to do everything like before. So why would she continue to fuck him? For some other plush - apartments, gifts, and so on? She is the most ordinary prostitute. And if by the principle "that at least somebody is", then she is a masochist.

What if she loves this particular person and no one in the world needs her anymore? Love is a surprise! This is not sex or cake.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129895
 25.06.2016
Russia is a country of contrasts:
Parking the METRO store, a man folds the bags into his Mersedes GL and attachs the cart to the other, takes his coin. Then he notices another couple of chariots nearby and begins to tie them up, taking coins from the locks. He stopped only after the shout of the employee of this same parking lot (which is hitting them and taking coins)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129894
 25.06.2016
Two disputes in one.

In my opinion, to say that underwear and swimwear are fundamentally different things - it is the same as to suddenly decide that ordinary socks are inappropriate, but fast-drying synthetic can already shine in the public in specially dedicated places.

And trying to infuse everyone in a row, and especially children, the shame and prohibition of the naked human body is generally a direct path to the upbringing of psychopaths and maniacs, can not be all normal in the head of a person who considers inappropriate his own body, in which he lives.

And no, the absence of rejection and shame in the face of the naked body does not lead to public nudity and other oddities, if in the process of education to talk about social norms, and not about the fact that under the clothes you are all so disgraceful and you should be ashamed that it is all there.

The human body is beautiful.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna