He spent the whole day in the office, wildly hanging. I go out, take the car, go out to the dacha. I do not remember how I arrived. I open the boiler, immediately pull the pump, attach the hose, start to water the garden. You know that in order for the hose to go further, you need to squeeze a part of the output hole with your finger and then the stream will hit better.
I press on, popper.

After 40 minutes, which I spent somewhere deep in my mind, I go into the greenhouse with tomatoes, take another hose. The same scheme: I press my finger to lick further.

Thirty minutes later, I went to the toilet.

He recovered a second before the disaster.

He was in such a deep ass that long afterwards he cracked out of the daylight.

Funny stories of young mothers

I went out for a walk with my two-month-old baby to the playground. I sit down, drink juice, read a journal, I do not touch anyone, but here the passers somehow crack. Half an hour later, the husband passed by and said, “Let’s go home, dear.” I looked in the mirror, and I was in bigodes. Large and varied!

I went to my friend’s birthday at a restaurant. All of herself - makeup, nails with straws (lipped at two nights), only from the house picked up a bag of garbage, and forgot to throw out. And hanged him on the door pen in the subway, where the last door. At the top, the pampers are worn out. No one said. It is good that when I came with him to buy flowers, the seller drew attention with a compressed voice. I went to the restaurant with flowers and butterflies.

It’s hard to count the tablespoons with the mixture, how many you’ve already put in a bottle. I found a way, while I put on, I count loudly. Approximately so: one-one-one, the second tablespoon I throw: two-two-two, etc. I sat down to drink tea, I think that this husband looks so strange at me... I pour sugar into a cup and say loudly with an expression: one-one-one... It is good that I was still at home, not in a cafe or guests.

I left a sleeping little girl on my husband and jumped out to the neighboring store for some nonsense like bread and milk. After a while, I realized that I was not enough to ride the cart here and there as a wheelchair, so I still tell her (the wheelchair) out loudly: "Now we will go, take my dad green apples, he loves them very much, and then we will go out there for milk..."

At first, she couldn’t wait for her daughter to fall asleep, and she fell asleep sitting on her arms while feeding. I wake up from the fact that she’s crying, I suck her chest, and she’s still sneezing, then I look, her head is on the other side, and I’m trying to feed.

- I go with my eldest daughter past the pond (her 9 years old), Max (1.5 years old) home with my dad.
I: This is a crackdown.
Anita is silent.
I: And you see, the dog ran out of AV.
Anna is silent.
I: This is a machine. How does the machine speak? The BB machine says.
Like in an anecdote.
Mama, who are you talking to?

A man comes from work and asks for tea. I quickly ran to the kitchen, made tea, poured it into a bottle on the machine and gave it to my husband.)))

We have a parrot at home, very handy and loves attention, but when dissatisfied with something bites a little. I took him on my arms, I talked to him, then something he didn’t like started bite. I immediately started pumping it, jumping it up and saying, “Tsss, quietly, it’s okay.”

When I was a child I couldn’t clean the bulb, my grandmother said:
If the thin is not removed, remove the thick.
This advice still helps me in my life.

The 7-year-old son in school soon "happy starts",..with his parents....he and his wife without hesitation recorded there....and in the evening announced it with the slogan: "Dad, mom, I am a sports family!"I try to go away; and you could not have held these starts under the slogan: Grandpa, grandpa, I am also a sports family!"? to what he answers: "Please don’t confuse the Funny Starts with the race of retirees-rapids!! )))

Under my windows during the Georgian-Ossetian company, one drunk bugay walked, who spoke at 2 o'clock at night, "Georgians, go out, we will fight." In the end, one Russian came out, rushing for a sleepy night. Since then he has been in the courtyard.

I am afraid to use the microwave in my office. On it a paper:
"In the event of a food explosion, the requests to screw out all the scratches."

Military fees after the fifth course. Early in the morning, a signal to excitement. The duty major, from the military department, bypasses the rows of tents. From one tent.
That kind of army!! to
Major in the tent.
Who was screaming, fucking!! to
Calm voice, Comrade Major, what kind of army you are thinking about. I said about the American.

Siver-snom: While he was following a cute five-point, one cigarette was broken, the others were scattered.
siver-snom: the ministry of health such a victory did not dream

The text is original and has not been corrected.
and----
No hand or anything.

Dear Customer!
For the previous month, the amount of Internet traffic spent was 0.00 MB.
You will find the option Internet VIP: 50 GB for 1500 rubles / month.! to
To connect, click ****#

I stand next to the mirror in shorts, critically consider my figure.Mom (the accountant) in the neighboring room checks the report.I scream:"Mom, and my legs are not curved?"Mom, not breaking away:"What has been done, it is done!"

It turns out, "included hot water" and "water flows from a hot crane" are different things...

This lady:
Well what guys went... first date: flowers, a walk, a city. I tell him between cases that the last relationship ended about six months ago.
The second date: the evening, a walk, a snack, I talk about intimate relationships and their undoubted physiological benefits. Third date: a picnic with friends, a slice, a watermelon...
The Seed! If you read this (and you read it), I want sex. Direct to now. The fucking romance.
July K.

— — —
Is it hard to tell it personally? Or is it necessary for everyone to know?
Someone doesn’t like that guys make intimate offers on the first date. Sleeping with a little-known person is not everyone wants.
And in the manner of displaying with such aggressiveness, he is just afraid of you.

Just for the Restoration of Justice (Fanfar):
The school genius:
The docent:
The Megaphysics:
Isolation does not lie in the cold!! to

Why is it cold in space? The vacuum is almost perfect heat insulation. Space vehicles are more likely to suffer from overheating.

I don't know what you're being taught now, but when I was in school, the temperature in outer space was absolute zero, -273 degrees.

The temperature, what is it? The vacuum temperature" is an oxymoron. And in school a lot of things are simplified so that the brains of children do not load.

The vacuum temperature in space is about 3 K. Yes, the vacuum has a temperature (the same energy), which consists of the energy of the particles in the vacuum (yes, there are particles, the definition of physical vacuum), and the own temperature of quantum foam. At the same time, all this does not prevent it from being an almost perfect heat insulator (excluding radiation losses, of course).
Oh, what does the blue isolant do to people.

Practices in the edition are always a celebration:
Manson said he is very totalitarian toward religious people and ready for dialogue.
And what is "Totalist"? Did he say so? Are you sure?
It is to-le-ranten Sorry, I was a little wrong.
Yes, a bit of a bit.

Gazprom’s new slogan: “Winter is near!”

I just read the Bahaanist joke, it sounded like this: "the question on the forum - where to get FineReader with medical handwriting support?"))) a year ago it was funny and unimaginable, but the ABBYY team did it... so the anecdotes sometimes come true too...

With this weather, I will walk around Tamriel and the surrounding area all summer.

The authorities of Ukraine will stop broadcasting Life News, REN TV and “TV Center”

What did the RN-TV do? Are aliens going to jump?