bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114639
 10.06.2015
(Discussions about the superheroes)

And our viewer can’t take the culmination scene seriously with the reverse count, when there are 10 seconds before the apocalypse... 9... 8... and so on, and the hero saves the world 2 seconds before. Because in our reality (and mentality) the deadline is located not on the back, but along, it is not a moment, it is a process ))) And generally in our understanding the hero begins to act and save after the apocalypse, so more interesting

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114638
 10.06.2015
Do you want me to download a video from the surveillance camera in our morge?
You are a paranoid. Do you have a camera in your morse?
You can’t imagine what happens there sometimes. The Camel Club. Recently, students organized a practice on medical cynicism. They came in the crowd, picked the jura by the blind draw method, grabbed a wreath on his foot with the inscription "From the Pizduchin brother" and stood around for a long time with sad roots. Judging by the movement of the lips, they spoke felt sad speeches about how remarkable brother the deceased was. Particularly delivered the moment, when at the end of the mourning ceremony, they still decided to move the curtain from the head of the deceased brother, and the brother turned out to be a tall, lean grandmother of 73 years. And here, in general, a treasure began, which our morge has not seen since the day of the foundation of the hospital. Pizzuel, of course, students will scratch out the excellent, but the video turned out to be worthy of an Oscar. The director is the life itself, in the main roles - the jure and our future squalops, who do not have their place in the medical, but in the theatrical. They have mastered cynicism, but medicine is theirs. The fucks.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114637
 10.06.2015
The Ministry of Health of Crimea invited doctors to the ceremony of sanctification of medical clothes.
The clothes! Clichés must be sanctified! And the ducks!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114636
 10.06.2015
Why am I, a person with an inefficient metabolism, much easier to endure a temporary lack of food than my “effective” friend?
-
The hell knows you. I have always been a thick girlfriend, a thick girlfriend. I had breakfast with a cup of tea without sugar (hot water, boiling, and that’s all), she ate in the morning. I could learn to earn money and forget to honestly forget to eat before dinner. At 11 in the morning, she had a loud cries in her stomach, and at lunch she was picking up food. No fitness practices were practiced 30 years ago, physical activity was virtually the same. She is a thin man, I am an ordinary fat man. and what? By the way, then, after the second child, far beyond 30 she also recovered. Strong, almost as I was. The way of life has not changed, the food has not changed. Who has smashed, right? Or do the hormones control us?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114635
 10.06.2015
From the TZ sent by the employer:
"Sections 3 and 5 are deleted, but with the possibility to return or replace them"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114634
 10.06.2015
Eat what you want. Clean your stomach and ass. Your body and your health.
Pray to.

____
I, say, eat a hamburger, and then I will go with the dog 5km to run, or I will have an hour of energetic sex with my wife, or I will pull the iron in the stool once more, and I will not have a stomach. And you continue to eat grass and walk lean, like mummies, without the strength for sex, walks and fitness. Do we need that health?
In any case, fuck it. The main thing is not to multiply.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114633
 10.06.2015
We once picked up a cat and called it Lisa (often slipped out). When she was a year in the thrill of the pleasure of cheering on the puzzle, Lisa dropped her dignity, which frightened her mother. So we found out we had Lizun.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114632
 10.06.2015
Modern society has a biased attitude toward the "sows" - it is believed that only the "sows" can be successful, who go to bed until midnight, and at seven in the morning are already vigorous and fruitful in traffic jams on their way to work.
:D
I hate B, B and B. But they try to impose their lifestyle on everyone, as do pedics.
How many things in life are not done because of them. and (

The exception is agriculture, they really need such a regime.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114631
 10.06.2015
My colleague Bory, apparently, was very interested in books about Sherlock Holmes as a child. He very much likes to make a "psychological portrait" of a person in some detail, considers himself offensively intelligent and insightful, is proud of observation and does not accept objections.

I treated this as a harmless ghost until I had a new diary. The yellow. He did not give Barry peace. On the basis of it, Boria concluded that I am eager to draw general attention to myself, want promotion in the service and generally extremely ambitious.

In general, the hell would take my natural politeness, I have been uncomfortable for six months to tell Bore that the diaries with the mark I need from this brand in another color are just not made, and I actually wanted a black...

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114630
 10.06.2015
Students somehow live on their usual 20 thousand, but 10 years ago there was a writer
and...
The students? Ordinary 20 years?
Are you in your mind?
The student has a scholarship of one and a half thousand, and the rest - as parents will help or work himself.
And 20 does not get a young specialist. Which moon did you fall from?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114629
 10.06.2015
They swim:

Shit, shit...
Men are not to blame for being bald. This is hormonal.
--------
And, then, after the birth on the crazy cocktail of hormones to disperse - it's just a baby whistle, right? They directly want to become begemoths, unlike men, who do not want to become bald. You will already decide on at least one side, but for both sexes.
P.S After childbirth I gained 20 kg, and they do not go away. Your husband is a guilty man, not an idiot. Loudly yes. To do so, life is like that.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114628
 10.06.2015
So, if a woman has eaten up or recovered hormonally after childbirth, then she is a fool for herself, and a poor husband lives with it. And if a man is eaten or hormonally ill from beer - this WOMAN is badly following him.

There will be no feminist slogan, because it does not seem to be a male chauvinism, but just a female – they were forced to consider men as gigantic babies, who themselves are not able to answer for anything at all. It would be okay if only the mother-in-law had sinned with this - it is really difficult for them sometimes to accept that the son-in-law is no longer a breast and the niece is not a hired babysitter. But everybody - both men and women - support the humiliating stereotype that men will walk in the shirt until his mom or wife changes his diapers! This is despite the fact that men themselves are usually even more careful and cleaner - they are simply taught from childhood to always be someone else to clean.
Society has more or less come to the point that it is not worth all girls to judge by a small percentage of glamorous kiso - so, maybe, it is time for men to stop judging by the not so often among them encountered "sweet cats"?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114627
 10.06.2015
The cat was so small that it could fit in the palm. One of his grey eyes was not yet fully opened. Mother, looking at this creature, said:
If he is Siberian, he will grow up healthy. I want him to be called Poppy.
Well, the cat was brought to my mother, the owner was barin. However, over time we looked at his character well, so Potap is only during solemn performances to little-known people, and usually this brake creature is called the cute Finnish name Yussi.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114626
 10.06.2015
To the NH, the husband gave an electronic reader, white, in a bright pink cover of the Barbie-wrinkle-eye. I managed to make a smiley-face and not burn, I really asked the reader with an open text, knowing that men do not understand the hints. But after six months, I couldn’t stand it and suddenly asked him how he chose the colors.

All girls love white.
I’ve always had all the black Devices.
Sometimes with a tough choice, yes.
What about the cover?
You love the pink.
WOW: 0_o
Wow: I don’t have anything like that in my clothes, black, grey and purple everything.
You have a pink shirt, a hat, a shirt
Wow: they’re not pink, but the colors of dirty meat, and in general, it’s your mom gave it.
Do not touch the flowers. You are wearing them!
Wow: >< of course, that’s what your mom gave you!

Now I have a gray park and a black reader in a black cover. I love my husband! And they say that men don’t understand clues ;)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114625
 10.06.2015
Sleep with appendicitis. The doctor educated about the diet for the next 2-3 months. In short: no fried meat and alcohol.
Brother, hearing all this, whispered like a goddess:
Summer has just begun, and you have already sprinkled it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114624
 10.06.2015
Most sex shops write that, say, for embarrassing - delivery to the home is made in opac packaging without indicating the content. Not that I was so embarrassed by the courier, but I was slightly, I must say, surprised when on the staircase I was handed a ordered flogger with forty tails right in a transparent cellophane packaging. I had nothing left but to say “Thank you”, give the courier the money and proudly take my one-and-a-half-meter-high into the apartment, waving with the cloth...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114623
 10.06.2015
Here they write that they eat, get fat, and their husbands then leave. And they must love as they are, even if the beemot has hit by weight. If you don’t like it, cast it.
– – – – –
Here, I look out on the street on blushed, bald men over 30, in trends, in sandals on lenient black socks, and I think - how bitter they must be, poor begemoths, abandoned by wives for their corrupt appearance... and right the heart is shed blood. Although pick up all, wash, plant on the diet to adjust for good people.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114622
 10.06.2015
Venetian
and hello. Still disgusting
Broken Higher Education
Someone to appreciate my presence.
And he said, “Look, you suffered so much, I appreciate it. Take the money"
No – No
Bluntly
(They are :

Olga
)))) when I listen to my acquaintances, who tell about the best years of their life in the universe, then somehow comes to mind the thought that maybe not so bad that I quit school... Probably, I am just psychologically, physically and materially not ready for this yet)
What is your sadness?
The Diploma?

Venetian
Yes Yes

Olga
You will be higher. And when you come to work, you will be told, “Oh, you have the highest. Maybe we’ll take you to work")
And maybe they will actually take it.)

Venetian
And they can say, "that everyone now has the highest, wherever spit. Dress up and jongle!"
(They are :

Olga
Take me with you.) You will say "and there is no". Such a contrast to create. And of course, between you and me, they will choose you.

Venetian
Do you know how to jongle?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114621
 10.06.2015
My grandmother was from the village. She loved cats and cats, but...
According to the village custom, if the cat slept sweetly in the sight of everyone, then the grandmother called him Kabysdech. And if it was worn like a caterpillar, a cowboy.
That these words were not the most affectionate I learned when I called so in the kindergarten of the sleeping and not sleeping in the quiet hour of the boys...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114620
 10.06.2015
Ignorance of the law, as well as knowledge of the law, does not protect against responsibility. The judge’s knowledge is easy.

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