bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №83843
 07.07.2013
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I put tamagochi.
and called it "your anus"
He sometimes writes to me.
"Your anus was hungry"
Tagged with: azahaha
XHH: "Your anus is missing. Enjoy it!"
Tagged with: Azhar
The Fucks
thx: "your anus is tired"
Here you are fucking.
ahahahahahah
fucking
I run like a judge.
xxx: "your anus wants to play"

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №83842
 07.07.2013
Asphalt: I’m very risky to get rid of it, but I wonder why do blacks have such long limbs?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83841
 07.07.2013
Oh, children, children... The film "Terminal" is based on the real story of one refugee. He lived at the Paris airport terminal for 18 years. And the fact that Snowden is stuck in Sheremetyevo now is a repeat of history, of course, in the form of a farce.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №83840
 07.07.2013
From the comments to the next news from British scientists that evolution will not fall asleep in a couple of millions. For many years, people will have cloves like fish.
Mod 1.1
Teeth replaced by cloves.

Mod 1.2
Added wings

Mod 1.3
New weapons for North Korea

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83839
 07.07.2013
The holiday, originally declared to the inhabitants of the village of Morozovka as the Day of Neptune, took place without the main actors. Representatives of the RPC, together with the administration of the Rososhansk district, banned artists from changing clothes to seaworms, water and the Roman god of the seas Neptune.

- We were asked by our parishioners to help us to ensure that such events are not held in our area in the future, - explained to the Life News correspondent the priest of the St. Illinois and Alexander Nevsky temples of the city of Rososh Father Roman. “We wrote a written appeal to the head of the administration of the Rososhansk district with a request not to hold on the territory of our district such holidays as the Day of Neptune and the night of Ivan Kupala. We have received understanding from the head of administration. I hope that now the souls of our parishioners will be calm.
... about how

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №83838
 07.07.2013
At work, a lot has to nurture accounting, management and other bodies. So when they call anything on the computer to fix for the reason "it's itself, I didn't touch anything" I found the correct answer to the question "oh, and what did you do?", which follows immediately after fixing the problem. I say I didn’t do anything, it fixed itself, just as it broke. Surprisingly, they go straight with their questions.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №83837
 07.07.2013
by Habr

> Wine has already learned to run absolutely all windows applications, and without glutes, oddities, features and dances with the drum?

Well, what do you say, even Windows can’t do that! and :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83836
 07.07.2013
The news:
Before this, the vodka is stored for three years in cognac barrels, and the bottles in which it is locked are covered with 24-carat gold.

The discussion:
Why should vodka last for 3 years?
yyy: so that it absorbs the strength of the material from which the barrels are made.
Why does vodka have a tree?
Zzz: to get drunk in the board.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №83835
 07.07.2013
to this:

In the service pulled a man with a broken belt GRM
Dialogue with the troll:
Is there a chance that the valve did not bend?
- Noah, if they are not curved, then you are a very lucky person, which is strange in itself, because you are riding a nexi.

By the way, it’s not trolling, it’s hamstring. Not everyone has money for Audi and Lexus. And I doubt very much that this "serviceman" has something better.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83834
 07.07.2013
About Proton
Something suggests me that there was no three satellites on board...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №83833
 07.07.2013
In the struggle between good and evil, the criminally more authoritative always wins.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №83832
 07.07.2013
Dog logic

We have a dog, a breed of bird-brabanson, from the Griffon family for the second year. They are rarely seen here, for those who haven't seen it - it's a hybrid of mops with grimlin from the film of the same name, the size of a small cat. Dogs are so ugly that it already borders with true beauty. You look at her and sometimes think, “How terrible! She and in her genealogy still from the breeders left the name "May Preshes", and at home she is just Martha.
But despite the appearance, the dog is very kind, confident and human-loving. You can’t bite, but you can bite to death. In the evening you come from work, she is already jumping at the door, until she jumps on her arms and even once does not slip, does not calm down.
In addition to her, we also have a cat, a large, Scottish. On January 1, she gave birth to three cats. The cats were also large, we did not want to give, so they lived at our house for almost three months. Every evening, they all ran together to meet, first Martha, followed by the cats. Unfortunately, it was time to give them back. Three days in a row I came from work in the evening, new owners immediately came in and picked up the cat. When I got the last one, it was very sad.
The next day I come in the evening from work, I open the door – no one runs to meet. There are no more cats. Stop to! Where is Marta? Why does she not meet? No one was running, only the cat looked out of the room.
I walk into the room, there is nowhere. And suddenly I see – Marta sits under the couch and frightened from there with her round eyes. She clearly made a logical conclusion with her brains the size of a walnuts – one cat disappeared every night. Yesterday the cats ended, so the next one in turn - she, the cat, is already old, adult.
How did she know that she was “May Precious”?

Mother of Siberia (c)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №83831
 07.07.2013
A historian is a fictionalist who describes the past.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83830
 07.07.2013
So I repair my bicycles. As already got the fathers, who ask to fix the lead of the boy, and themselves at the same time justify always the same way: "I would, of course, myself (mol, it's shit whoever will do), but I'm busy / fuck me / snoop death and so on";
No, I understand everything, few people will find a set of special keys, shooters of all kinds, and time, sometimes, just not. But if you are a man, acknowledge that it is not appropriate for you, riding a landscape, to dig in a children's bicycle. Or say nothing.
This attitude, honestly, is insulting.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83829
 07.07.2013
Everyone knows from childhood where, how and in what dress she will play the wedding. One thing remains to be decided - with whom?

Okay well. Here you will meet a girl, you want to marry her, you make an offer, and she will not marry you. Not because she doesn’t like you, but because she has other priorities. Here is your pattern about your own head with a crust and breaks.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83828
 07.07.2013
The wife changed her husband, he caught her with a lover, she says that it is gay, the husband does not believe, the lover proposed to check, after which the wife covers the lawn and everyone bounces and discusses the situation - the alphabet of family life.
Ladies and gentlemen, make such a family life.
I will live in a perfect fictional world where there is love, loyalty, and no one is shrinking.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83827
 07.07.2013
Go to me, I have a cold salad! Yes, I’m probably calling the wrong girl.

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83826
 07.07.2013
Alice, let’s prepare something. Do we have a liver that can be prepared from the liver?
I am cirrhosis
Mother: Let me go. Is it delicious?
I: It is fascinating.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83825
 07.07.2013
By the way, at 8 a.m. on Saturday, it turns out, there is a lot of interesting happening on the almost deserted streets of our big city.
So, for example, I was a witness to how the DPS suddenly stopped 3(!!!) cars at a time. I had been lighting green for a long time, but it became very interesting how everything would end.The first was just moving around the meeting, apparently from the gas station, which was nearby. By the way, leaving there is really terrible, in order to leave there, without breaking the rules of the PDD, you need to make a huge hook.
So his DPS was stopped, severely blocking the passage of his forehead into his forehead.He only blamed his hands and crashed on the gasoline.
The second man left after the second and stood up immediately. He went out, said that he saw that one was going, so that he would not go? I thought there was no DPS.
The excuses of the third unfortunate outside of the competition: "I, he says, thought that the DPS arranged an action and distributed gifts, otherwise all these men went under the brick? So I went"
This is how the DPS patrol started its Saturday day. Once you pay, you earn a monthly salary.


[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83824
 07.07.2013
New-Moscow route, bridge repair, road narrowing, traffic jams. Two length meters peacefully intertwined in a general structure. To the bridge with the hand to give, but here is there: on the right side of the stream are sucking "I need, I am the smartest and I rush". We had been wrapped. And here the length meter makes the move by the horse - rises to the side and blocks the "slide" passage :) And while they wave, wave, fake and squeeze their clamps - two rows (and we included) pass the bridge without problems :)
Respect to you, my friend!! to

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