To all those who participate in this glorious celebration, with the Day of Sisadmin guys!!! to

Q: Are you going to get married?
No, you won’t get me there with a stick!
That’s how the sticks usually go.

Yesterday Olga came to me. She began to cry over her Vitalka: she doesn’t do anything, she doesn’t read, she doesn’t study, she sneaks all day. I’m trying to tell her that the boy is 14 years old and is on vacation, what does she want from him? And she's me - you don't understand, he doesn't know anything and doesn't want to, it's already a potential pedic!! to
WOW :...? Oh what.
Oh yeah yeah yeah. I fell into the precipitation, and then my miracle appears, which is a year older than this Vitalky, and so seriously asks her: Aunt Olya, and you think guys like cats - if there is nothing to do, they will lick eggs?! to
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
He is a beautiful man who disputes. I scratched, he scratched, this spots went... I gave out that he was also potential, and dropped)))

My wife is a real engineer. A chemist for education and workplace, repaired today the calculator by the method "tika".
The subordinates drew her an old machine with a defect: the display incorrectly displays the numbers and asks to write out a new computing device from the warehouse.
There are no calculators in the warehouse. The wife, tapping the button, entered a random 12-bit number, after which the display flashed, and the numbers began to display correctly. In shock of her own talent, she called me.
proud of my wife.

From Habr.
Ladies and gentlemen, comrades and friends, laborers of the drum and the twisted couple! Let our servers fall as rarely as possible, and the users get interpretative, complacent and non-obsessive.

All on the gigabit cake, on the terabyte internet, screws without beads and eternally live RAID's!

Before marking, burn the working config, Saturday morning may be useful! “They drank beer, the passwords changed.”

Celebration of us! by admin!

The Student:

Do you have problems with incompetence? The hospital due to the banal rhinitis is called the "leaf of temporary incapacity", if ch.
--------

Maybe an incapacity? Disability is a state of health that does not allow to perform work, and incapacity is when a person cannot take care of himself, be responsible for himself and his actions.

What do you know about cynicism?
xxx: Leha adblock removes the slices "please turn off the adblock on our domain"

zzz: The legislative activity in modern Russia seems to me to have come close to the line behind which is the adoption of laws against Dihydrogen Monoxide, this dangerous Western chemical invented by the CIA.

The husband, lying in bed for a night's sleep, touched the little ones. He shook them and said, “What are you eating here while I am not there?”
We eat while you are...
So... appreciate it! What do you eat while I am ;)

kkk: I once clicked in the search engine "a taxi driver killed a passenger"- and since then I have not argued with taxi drivers.

Is the new office uncomfortable? A new office?
XX: Listen to me, yyy, my dear.
xxx: "New" How is the office called?
The Office 2007.
XXX: What year is it?
YYY: 2015
XX: Do you know how many years have passed? Eight, my dear Yyy! With beta versions, all nine!
XXX: Somebody has finished school for that time!
You can’t get used to the devil’s tape!

And cancer, in addition to genetics, is a disease of sorrow and sorrow. Once a person regrets his life and dreams of dying soon, dreams come true.
— — — —
Are you stupid? Have you ever seen cancer patients enjoying life before this terrible diagnosis? Who lived a life full of happiness before illness and lost all hope in one night? I haven’t seen the energetic people whom this disease has eaten in a few months, despite all the efforts, hopes and optimism. I have seen.
I don’t know if you want to know it on your own skin. The example of close friends. Probably not will. But I ask you never to tell a sick person that his illness is due to his own desire to die. Even on a funny website.

xxx: And what is this Windows10 installer doesn’t offer me to drop on the back of the dashboard and read about the wonderful capabilities?

I lie with a girl in bed.
The dog screams out the window: Rex!
I am a pax fax.
The girl laughs and shoots. We begin to roar in the voice.
You say you are not shooting.
We start to roast even more.
She: You just guessed the magic.
continuously rushing.

User1: Pirates are pirates. Pidors are not bad.
User2: Well, in the first part of the phrase you had an interesting but controversial parallel. Loiso Pondhova: The ancient pirates of the sea contained a considerable percentage of piddles in their ranks. Modern pirates may also be pedorasses, but this will not result from their way of life, like it was in the case of sailors. And the last part of your statement is generally difficult for a solid qualification, since the category of bad and good is the quintessence of the subjective as an assessment factor.
But in any case, go off.

I think that if cats wanted to capture the world, they would have already captured it. They probably have very different goals. That is scary.)

There are days when you think, “God, how I’m tired.” Continuous problems, mismatches, one forgot it, the other did not transmit it, calls, conflicts...
And here comes another message. The irritation gradually grows inside.
"Why is he writing again? What happened to them again? Nihren cannot do it normally"
Then you open the message, and read "... Tagged with"
A letter from the chief.
And immediately comes to mind the thought "maybe I wasn’t alone so bored? andquot;

Spam about member enlargement did not help.
XHH: Now they are sending spam about narrowing the vagina.

The less knowledge, the easier it is to mislead.by Igor Plasch

The guest

Fifteen years have passed since my old friends, Kostya and Anna, finally decided to get married.
Both have been together for a million years. So what a million, their daughter Dasha, will go to school in September.
Of course, the wedding was not grand at all, only for their own. But, in any case, the bride in the expensive white dress, was blinding as a quarrel, and the bridegroom in the striped suit tried not to lag behind. Parents were especially pleased, they didn’t even hope.
We all wandered into a small room and lively waited, waiting for a aunt with an awkward voice and a red folder to solemnly call on the young people to respond.
There was a pause and a little Dasha, with an adult hair, asked loudly:

“Mommy, why are you marrying only today?
All my friends in the kindergarten, parents first met, then fell in love, then married, and only then gave birth to children. Why did you not marry immediately? Have you not loved each other yet?

The pause instantly conquered the whole room and became threateningly infinite.
The bride hardly stood on her heels and answered unclearly:

Daisy, what are you? Of course loved.
Why didn’t you get married before I was born?
A-A-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- He will tell you everything.
Dad tell me.

Kostia stared predatorily at Anna, as the Kazakh sniper looked at Hitler, and, trying to be affectionate, replied:

“Dasha, I’m not interested in your nonsense now, please keep quiet, let’s get better later. Then we talk.

Dasha crossed her hands on her chest and was slightly swollen.
And the general pause with dangerous shootings of eyes did not let the present.
I had nothing left but to put my “five kopecks” in order to settle a roaring family scandal:

“Dasha, if you want to, I’ll tell you, why didn’t your parents marry many years ago?
I want to, tell me!
This is a very big secret, so they didn’t want to tell you. Ask, if they allow me, then I will reveal this secret to you anyway.

The girl ran to her mother and drowned in her wedding dress and said:

“Mom, Dad, let Uncle Grubas tell me everything!

Kostia and Anya looked at them with danger, but reluctantly sneered.
I continued :

- Well, then listen: once, very long ago, when your Dad and Mom just met and fell in love with each other, they were of course going to get married, even all the guests have already been called, but then they suddenly thought, "Well, someday in the future, we will have a child, a boy, and maybe even, if lucky, then a girl."

Dasha smiled and cried, confirming that she was just a girl.

“So this little girl will be born, grow up, grow up like you, and one day ask, ‘Mom, Dad, what was your wedding? The good? And what dress? The beautiful? What a cake? “The big?”
What would your parents be able to answer? “Yes, the wedding was fun, but it was so long ago that we don’t even remember, and the photos, unfortunately, were lost somewhere...”
And then, your Mom and Dad strongly thought, gathered all the guests and said, "Sorry, dear guests, but with the wedding we will have to endure another ten years, and all this for the sake of our future child. You will do nothing. But when this very child is born and grows up, then come and have fun.
We were all then, of course, a little upset, but there was nothing to do, so hungry and gone home, waiting for another ten years.
And here, Dasha, just today, exactly ten years have passed since then, you were born, grew up and now you can become a real guest at the wedding of your parents, to see everything with your own eyes. Is that not a miracle?

Dasha hanged on the neck of the bridegroom and bride and said:

“Mommy, Daddy, you are the best, most patient and most intelligent parents on earth. I love you very much.

Kostin's father unnoticed, but with a feeling touched my hand and even invited me to go fishing.