bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100988
 26.07.2014
The first sex is like the first cigarette. It would seem, I’ll just try, and it will take a long time! Start with sex, my advice.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100987
 26.07.2014
My husband today said:
Why is it forbidden to put intimate goods on the window and no pancakes? They seduce me and corrupt me as strongly as they can!

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №100986
 26.07.2014
here here :
to this:

< Too late, but about the marasma on the EGE.
Literally a witness. The entrance to the point of surrender, metal detectors stand workers, around the guards snoop with dumb faces. One girl, passing through the frame, wrote. I asked to show what was in the bag. They open - and there is a natural hammer, not even a knife. I see that it is real. Nothing, they said to go on. Yes, not a spade. But it was terrible to be with her in the same audience/>

It is funny what a man tells us about the marasma at the EGE, who wrote: "One girl, passing through the frame, wrote a note." Say, dear, when you approach the station, your hat did not take off?! to

Two cups of tea for this man.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100985
 26.07.2014
There is a Thai saying that the right sharp chili burns three times. At the entrance, at the exit, and when you step in.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100984
 26.07.2014
I write to a friend, I want to express my feelings:
I am you.
I leave you
I am you.
Fuck you fucking!! to
Oh... and that means printed... Oh

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №100983
 26.07.2014
If you constantly push your line, you will get a magical circle.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №100982
 26.07.2014
The hero of this story, Boris, now lives in Israel. And in his youth he lived in Baku and worked there in the nursery. The Electric.

In the same building with the maternity house was housed a women’s consultation. There, Bore was given a small room where he could sit waiting for calls and fill out the necessary papers. The room was in the middle between the cabinets, where two honored gynecologists took the reception. On the doors of the cabinets hanged luxurious black with gold tablets listing all their ranks and titles. Bora looked, and he also put a sign on his door - very modest, without any regalies, only the name and the initials.

And he barely fixed the tablet and took up the papers, as if a woman entered the room. Before Boris had time to say anything, she hit him with a stream of complaints about her intimate problems. Boris, it should be noted, was a great fan of women and understood their problems as if not better than in electricity. He did not get confused, sat the stranger on the couch, asked in detail and even touched a little. Unfortunately, he did not have a watchchair. He said goodbye, and the woman was pleased. Almost immediately after her came a second woman, then another. Before lunch, Boris had time to receive five visitors, then he was called and called to fix the delivery.

On the way back, he was caught on the stairs by both honored gynecologists and in a categorical form, threatening with physical punishment, demanded that the tablet be removed immediately. Boris got up on the eths and saw that the chairs for visitors in front of both cabinets were empty, but a long row was built in front of his door. Conscious babies massively ignored Professor, Doctor of Medical Sciences Magomedov and member-correspondent of the Academy of Medical Sciences of the Azerbaijani SSR Alimhanov and all like one wanted to be treated with the humble doctor B.Y.Lifshitz.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100981
 26.07.2014
With the constant growth of alimony from her ex-husband, Vera began to steal the thought that the former may not be so greedy and impotent.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100980
 26.07.2014
>> The girl who gets married in August,
I danced with someone from another universe.

What a horror, in August married, and she! He dances! With the other!! Maybe it will happen after the wedding!!! to
And the other "longest of all in a relationship" and kisses with the other. If she were "in a relationship" the least of all in the group, it would not be so scary.
And the third - scary to say, did something 'unknown' with a stranger guy. Well, though single, but everyone knows that it is necessary to produce only "home", only after the wedding (in August) and only with her husband. The fourth was on asphalt. And thank you for that.
Author, I am scared to think of what else people can suddenly disappoint you.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100979
 26.07.2014
And how does the word "enikeyster" get and exactly translate into Russian?
The “programmer”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100978
 26.07.2014
here here :

From baby :

I finally got a bowl!!! to
I never cooked for him, then I decided, I am a woman, so I should cook it at least once! I cooked on Sunday, only yesterday they ate, I didn't make pictures.I did a chicken soup from under the strawberries (my husband cooked strawberries twice on it), with cabbage, potatoes and sausages (you need something meat)
The funniest thing is my husband liked it!! He praised him so much, I was so happy that I became a real wife.
How do you prepare Borsch?

How is it in the water where the peelings have been boiled twice?! to

1- He not only cooked them on the water, but with chicken bouillon, which is dissolved, with green.At the same time, and peelmesque as in the restaurant, and borscht to the surprise of all of the officinals is delicious=)

3- bugayo-moyo, 5 day borscht on peelmouth washes a day ago, with the addition of a chemical bouillon (I even have a cat like this to grind started) and she’s sorry... in peelmouth restaurants... his mother so... and what about Ekaterinburg so harsh)))
-------
That is, the borst was with the cabbage (!Quote: "We need something meat", no one was surprised? OOO

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100977
 26.07.2014
Question: The aqualancer underwater has lost the benchmark.How can he determine where the top, where the bottom.
Answer: On the mouth of corals.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100976
 26.07.2014
A family conversation. husband and wife.
Do we have a support?
What do you want, large or small, round or square?
Which is there?
There is none.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №100975
 26.07.2014
From the comments on eilin_o_connor

One of my long-time lovers, I remember, painted me a date on a summer lawn. There are all kinds of chamomile, vasils, stems, butterflies flying... Sex again on soft grass. Yes is. And even to the lawn brought and... did not warn the dog that he has the most brutal pollinosis on some blooming shit. The Romantic! As I remember, I dragged him to the nearest river, grim thinking about the nuances of Quincke's edema and about allergic idiots who don't even carry antihistamines with them... Horror. Until now, I am walking by the flowering meadows with a curved smile.
At the stage of the idea it looked so cute :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100974
 26.07.2014
Today in New York City appeared the street named Sergey Dovlatov. In honor of this favorite:
We settled somehow with the writer Demidenko on the boxes near the beer bar.
The shops. Waiting for the discovery. Through it passes an alchemy, launched like this. He asks us: How long?
Demidenko replied, “There is no clock.
And so are the villagers.
Alkas looked at him contemptuously:
So are villagers? Not such a villager, but such a villager. This is a middle class.
It was muddy!
Demidenko then admired: - Even Alkashi can teach French!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №100973
 25.07.2014
Serpent_83: - Stop dividing people into pedestrians, cyclists and drivers... an adequate person always behaves normally... and ***** and even if you ride, even if you go skiing - *****om and it will remain...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100972
 25.07.2014
to this
I saw a terrible picture today. Goes a guy with a string motortrimmerthrough the shoulder, well, which the lawns in order, and instead of a string stitch the steel disk from the circular!!! Our harsh...

A fool is a disk for a small bush. I have one in the triangle as well.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №100971
 25.07.2014
From baby :

I finally got a bowl!!! to
I never cooked for him, then I decided, I am a woman, so I should cook it at least once! I cooked on Sunday, only yesterday they ate, I didn't make pictures.I did a chicken soup from under the strawberries (my husband cooked strawberries twice on it), with cabbage, potatoes and sausages (you need something meat)
The funniest thing is my husband liked it!! He praised him so much, I was so happy that I became a real wife.
How do you prepare Borsch?

How is it in the water where the peelings have been boiled twice?! to

1- He not only cooked them on the water, but with chicken bouillon, which is dissolved, with green.At the same time, and peelmesque as in the restaurant, and borscht to the surprise of all of the officinals is delicious=)

3- bugayo-moyo, 5 day borscht on peelmouth washes a day ago, with the addition of a chemical bouillon (I even have a cat like this to grind started) and she’s sorry... in peelmouth restaurants... his mother so... and what about Ekaterinburg so harsh)))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100970
 25.07.2014
xxx: we go for one day in Bruges, only 250km before it, tickets bought!
WOW: very good
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The fucking! and full!
WOW: What happened?
WOW: What is it?? to
More than 100 varieties of beer are produced in Bruges. We can’t try it all in a day.
You are a fucker!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №100969
 25.07.2014
We live on the 14th floor, windows to the playground.
I opened the window, sat on the window and breathed the air. Not with coffee. With beer.
I was noticed by the children down there, shouting:
Do not jump!
Well, I was not going at all.
A boy gets a phone and says to me:
Come on, I’ll shoot!

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