I will do that now! This is!
and anustoy!
The gaps would not hinder

Will you go for coffee?
I do not like coffee.
Which coffee do you like? Have you tried Jardin?
I'll fuck you, I'm not going to give you today.

I missed the practice.In the morning, for some reason, it seemed very important to see a dream about the exhibition of hamsters... =(

I came to visit Nastya, cooked hot dogs, we sat down eating hot dogs with cream. I struggled about something, and then Nastya issued a phrase:
“Valer, you first remove the cream from your lips, and then say ‘Fuck in your mouth!’”

Shut off the hot water? No water heater?

There is a washing machine! You drop the sludge into the bath, clog a hole in the bath and turn the empty machine without powder to the maximum temperature. And we have a depth of 50 liters of water at a temperature of about 80 degrees, and a hot bath - about 50 degrees. That is, we dilute what has leaked out of the car with cold water, and the bath is ready!

I am angry as flies rub their front legs... as if they had a plan. As if my song was singing.
Kinstin: Teeyeks, I saw everything in the toilet, I looked into the bowl to the cat, now I need to wipe off my legs about the Valushkin sandwich :)

Hello, my parents left for 2 weeks, now I can quietly listen to the music of the 80s and 90s, and I am not afraid that my parents will think that I am a drug addict =))

Akito

The highest intolerance to homosexual colleagues is shown by guards (19%), skilled workers (15%) and designers (11%).
Guardians and steelers. Why the designers?

YYY: Because the designer is usually the creative boss. He is either gay or pederast.

News of Krasnoyarsk:
"63% of motorists are ready to switch to buses"
The first comment:
"I would move on the bus. But I don’t have a bus."

A desire that lacks money is called a dream.

The American John K. came to me now, I honestly confessed to him that I wrote a story about him yesterday, should be released in today’s issue. But it is not too late to recall if he is against. John agreed with the publication, but strictly corrected that the temperature in the settlement Free on the day of his arrival was only -46, and not at all -47, as I imagined there. And that this is far from the funniest story of all that happened to him.
of Russia. I was a little offended and asked him to tell the most funny story he thought. Here is she.

At the end of the 1990s, one cute girl from the deaf taiga arrived.
Transsibya somewhere in the area of Transbaykalya in order to sit on the train going to Vladivostok. The driver of the approaching train explained to her that there were no free seats except one in the double-seat luxury. But that a decent girl in this couch is better not to sit down. “What’s wrong with this box? The girl asked scaredly. “There is a dirty foreigner. Terrible such, huge, unridden, unwashed, crazy probably.” Further, from the words of the conductor, it came out that it was a dirty foreigner in all respects: "I was trying to pull me into the toilet with myself. Then the guy did not let out of the toilet, he wanted to break in there. He shakes his hands, shakes something, he doesn’t understand Russian. My eyes are so hungry, so ugly. No one passed by the toilet. Until I talked well with him. Do not go to him in the box! »

The girl had to go. And she went all the way to that terrible foreigner. To his happiness, she spoke English.
The foreigner, indeed a huge unbarred man, polently stood up, almost pushing her back out of the coupe, greeted her, complainingly pointed to his scarf, his dirty shirt, and said with a breath: "Sorry! No water!
»
Why is there no water? The girl wondered, “What about the toilet? “Would I be there! All the cranes checked, all the pins overturned - there is no water! I myself see people going to the toilet with their towels across their shoulders, returning from there shaved and clean. I tried to ask what was going on, and everyone was scared. »

Was the pipe pushed from below? The girl asked.
What kind of pimple?! to

I also found out why the American eyes are so hungry.
His credit card was not accepted by the restaurant car. The Siberian semi-stations were also not fixed by rows of ATMs. He was driving with
of St Petersburg. The man is gentle, the prices in the restaurant are bite, all the cash he wiped with appetite even before the Baikal. At large stations in search of a bankomat to be removed feared - how much will the train stand, ask no one.

After a minute, passengers watched with interest how the door of the evil car opened. A courageous girl suddenly led the humbled stranger through the corridor, and behind them both the toilet door clogged.

One hour later, the terrible alien, in the world American professor, doctor of biological sciences, specialist in project management, hero of Antarctic polar expeditions John McClin Crum was washed, shaved, dressed in a fresh shirt, fed, all shining and kindly communicated with neighbors on the wagon through an interpreter. What was the reason for his previous ugly behavior, he did not explain to the passengers. The whole car looked at the girl with admiration, as if she were a great abuser of foreigners. So is
John Crum has met his future wife. Strange phrase “Did you press the
Pimpochka from the down? It became their family tradition.

A woman in the store suddenly cried out:
and Karaul! They rob! They rob!
Called the police. Write the protocol, what happened?
The Woman:
When buying goods in the store, a fifth of the price must be paid.
the state as VAT, and for some goods also a solid amount in the form of
The taxes are slashing. And to pay for this earned money, s
The state retained almost half of the tax. by
As it all happened to me, I stumbled.

XXX: He was fired from the helium factory. I don’t like when people talk to me in that tone.

Harry Potter and the Gifts of Death (Part 2) A guy enters the hall, apparently in the toilet, descends along the rows, gets the phone and with the phrase "Lumos" looks for the right row. That is not all. Someone was basking in the rear rows until the floor of the hall spread "Silencio, Suki". The magic worked.

I am drawn to the epoch like a pendulum, we have a single pulse beating; stupid if they put a monument to me - I don't like shit pigeon

The Century:

How did you fly if you were using a condom? yyy: how how how? The condom broke the spiral. XXX: Do you also have a spiral installed? yyy: It was, but she jumped out, clinging to the condom...

Schoolwife, remember: the spiral is installed inside the uterus, inside which the MPH could not get during the ebola. And a sprinkle from an electrical device or a curved spiral, pushed into your much-suffering baby, is not a contraceptive, that is.

The driver stops the girl and goes:

Major Major’s documents.

Are you the major of all?? to

Rita has a father in Israel.
YYY: I know, and what is he doing there?
XXX: He is a Jew! :D

The morning.
I’ve found a job!I’ll tell you all this evening!

The evening.
My mother said that she would pay me, only that I would not go anywhere, and Silchanov said that he would pay more if necessary.

xxx: hanging a turnik on the balcony
XX: I decided that every time I go out to smoke, I will pull up to fatigue.
I didn’t think I smoked so much.