She: Yes, we are working in the sweat of the face!!! to
He:...and someone you are doing this...that your face is sweating?? to

Cause: traffic jams due to repair works on the Leningrad highway.
Gromov’s phrase: “Let people move to helicopters.”
A silly task: to write a note about what else, in addition to helicopters, you can overcome traffic jams on the roads.
Well, I, of course, thought and thought about the airballs!
and bingo!
I call the office, which is engaged in these all kinds of entertaining trips on airballs, and ask them:
I: And if I want to fly on your balloon to Sheremetyevo to pass traffic jams, can I rent it?"
At the end: a long silence
I: I breathe hard in the tube
In the end, are you sober?
I am: “Buddy” Yes! So is it?
At the end: If the wind blows in the right direction, you can fly to Alaska.
I: * with an enlightened mind * Logically, fuck it!
At the end, the phone was thrown.

Good night, child of the Internet.
Proger: Good night, Baby Peroxy.

Recently, I had to bite a chocolate with the inscription on the envelope: "Made 12 months before the expiration date". In general, formally the inscription is correct, but similar: "Born 73 years before death"... How about for chocolate sadly became from such a slogan.

From Habr:

A colony of biological robots cooling your products. It is worth putting the product in this gel, as robots will isolate it, determine the composition and select the appropriate temperature regime. The robots are powered by electric light and shine beautifully at night.

by dimag0g:

It is worth putting your hand into the bio-freezer, as the robots will isolate you, determine the composition and select the temperature regime in which you will stay for the longest time.

The DarkFree:

The owner of the apartment will most likely learn to recognize, but the guests will save.

Here is our anti-bot boss.
Whoever enters his office, the first thing he hears is: "In his own way" is written with two N!

player: put on the Ubuntu gnom-voice control, launched
Settings in the menu: No.
spieler: on my exhausted cry - "where, your mother, on the other hand?"
This control troop cleverly and helpfully opened the terminal to me... >_<

Life is like vodka: no matter how much you live, everything is little, and it ends stupidly: at the most inappropriate moment.

Yesterday, on TV, news NTV. Opening of the Basher Nuclear Power Plant, Iran.
Congratulations, interviews from Kiryenko-our people will remain for 3 years to pass on their experiences to their colleagues. They show a grocery store, and there is an inscription in Russian near the box office: “We do not owe,... and it is in Iran!!!!”! to

The buyer:
Do you weigh 200 grams of sausages?
The seller (indifferently)
What is a building store?
The buyer:
And nothing.
The Seller:
and LADY. Give me your sausage, I will weigh.

At work, the smoker was in the male toilet. Competent comrades express their dissatisfaction with the smell of tobacco in the toilet. strongly so expressed. Providing and smoking we do not have in the room decorated with combustible materials and ventilation, etc. After 3 months, all smokers are forcibly transferred to the street.
A week passes. Competent comrades express their dissatisfaction with the strong smell of urine in the male toilet. We wait...

You know, most of the girls I’ve met were the complete opposite of me) Well, don’t be stupid dating in fact! What I haven’t made a compliment to myself...

and chook:
From the story of a comrade who sits on you and whispers.
T: - A few days ago, I worked with a friend on a pair of monitors. The neighbor's office moved away and did not sell out. I put it in the kitchen under the table. I sit in the evening playing in the counter and it’s not over.
There is no internet service provider:
T: - Hi Internet is not available (tra-ta-ta address)
Do you see the two monitors on the bottom right?
Q: And what are they here?
ADMIN: That’s what we need.
He laid the phone, woke up his wife, searched for the cameras in the kitchen for 1.5 hours.

From the forum:

xxx: Say there is a site where you can hack a mobile phone, that is, find out who has a registered phone number.
I don’t need a scam for scams just urgently!!!! to

YYY: The Federal Service keeps yourself in your hands!

My dad told me that the movie was interesting, but I forgot the title. So there were some humans, they lay in the graves, somehow there changed and then controlled people... It turned out that I was listening to a brief description of Avatar.
Spanish

I remember swimming in Urengoy. There is even a city beach. With umbrellas, cabins and beds, everything is adult. He jumped, but did not count the drunkenness - far from the shore - slipped on the ice.

<LiL> Here you are all so cruel: "I hate the Gopniks", "I hate the Emo", "I hate the Russian government"... And I declare to you that real, fierce, cruel hatred can burn in the human heart only to the plastic bars with which green bottles are stuck!
*LiL went to wash hands >__<

I used to wear a towel at work to wipe out the sweat. I finally installed the air conditioner. I now use a shirt for my own purpose.

1: Did she catch a bouquet?
2nd Agha
The boy was probably pleased.)
3a: Yes, there all the boys read in the eyes:"Al not mine")

I asked the girl to record the series on a flash. I reminded her that she was silent. When I forgot about her, I get a message:
I don’t get it all, I’ll give it to you again.

At first I didn’t understand, I thought she was wrong.