bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №85903
 21.08.2013
Decided in the "personal qualities", the summary a little corrected for the sake of the experiment:

stress-resistant: ah, just try not to do what is supposed to be "mama do not burn";

communicable: if necessary, "without soap in one place I will enter.but I will get my"

High learning: I torment until I really understand what is needed

Accurate in documentation: there may be mess on the table, but in every chaos there is order and I know where, what lies in me.

During the day 9 companies called with an invitation to the interview.I look forward to what is next)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85902
 21.08.2013
A man wanted to send his... religious necessities - paid 15-20-50 rubles, entered the cabin, a couple of minutes later went out... Everyone is happy, the city - a profit, and no one interferes.

The Alabama Buddha of Suicides

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №85901
 21.08.2013
to this:

Put two washers in the machine. The Mobyus tape is resting. You start to believe in parallel universes ;)

try washing a dozen children's socks - you will have fun for the whole evening and valuable experience in breaking off sea nodes)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №85900
 21.08.2013
The shock! Only two zodiac signs will survive this year, because Pugacheva was able to lose weight by a kilogram a day! Want to know how? HMI, if you are not afraid to learn the secret technique to cut off with one blow, because it is so easy to earn $400 a day, but 70% of marriages disintegrate after visiting this site, because there are databases of all residents of the Russian Federation!

[ + 10 - ] Comment quote №85899
 21.08.2013
You have not seen me for a long time, baby.
Where will you kiss me when we meet?
I’ll hang over the bed, I’ll put the bars.)

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85898
 21.08.2013
As a child, I thought that the cream of society was dirt and waste. The oldest learned what is called the elite of society. Now I know how right I was when I was a child.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №85897
 21.08.2013
Comments on the news that a London bank trainee died after 72 hours of continuous work:
In Japanese there is even a name for this - Karosi.
Carousel worker, carousel autumn! – – – –

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85896
 21.08.2013
Advertising in the subway car: "Buy a door with locks and win a holiday tour!"
Nothing to confuse?and :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №85895
 21.08.2013
Oleg took off his T-shirt.
Girls swallowed water.
Answer for Tattoos.
He couldn’t go before the mountains.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №85894
 21.08.2013
Do you need bricks?
WOW :?
XHH: I postponed two self-drives tonight.
I’m alone at night, I’m already asleep, and I hear shrinking steps in the corridor...Cold sweat.
The cat bore and buried.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №85893
 21.08.2013
Can you say how x@em in a living person tick?
"Among the beetles that live in the
The island of Tahiti, spread
Extremely cruel forms:
The male chooses the female and
She swallows her stomach.
The Sexuality "
Humanity is becoming human!!! to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №85892
 21.08.2013
by Serdyukov:
In 1985-89 (I don't remember exactly), working in the service of the Chitinsky A/P movement, I listened to an interesting dialogue between the RC dispatcher and the Tu-154 crew, which was transiting east. Since the MDP started working at 8:00 a.m., and the matter was early in the morning, the An-2 that took off from some small site tried to report the take-off through this Tuška to get instructions and the dialogue sounded approximately as follows:
"Listening-control, 232nd"
"232nd, I answer"
There An-2 with an incomprehensible calling asks to convey to you that he follows from some kind of hero to some kind of... ui and asks MBV on the route.
After a lengthy pause lying under the table, the controller replied without a note of irony in the voice: “I understood, 232, pass on to the board that the MBV flight from Kyker to Kokuy 1950 was given.”

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №85891
 21.08.2013
I live alone with two small dogs.
I come home in the evening, the TV is running, hears all the volume of Animal Planet, a controller rolls on the floor and a half-eaten shower.

Apparently I don’t know anything about these dogs, and every time I leave, they call friends and organize parties.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №85890
 21.08.2013
Call from the provider:
-Bla-bla action...connecting TV programs over the Internet...
You know, I don’t have a modern TV.
Pause
With an uncertain voice, the boy said:
Is it at least colorful?
10 minutes, I could not continue the conversation.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №85889
 21.08.2013
I read on the internet.
The Malaysian Chamomile
What you will not do here.
Not to write courses.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85888
 21.08.2013
In Japan post "How not to shoot your own", telling about accidental losses from a friendly fire. The best comment:

mp_friendlyfire 0

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №85887
 21.08.2013
In front of you are two tablets: red and blue. If you drink blue, you will forget everything; if you drink red, you will know the whole truth. Which will you choose? Please choose."

You can drink vodka – first you learn the whole truth, and then you forget everything.

LeXX

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85886
 21.08.2013
We were on the bus and the little boy gave his mother an ultimatum, saying, "I have, you love me or I will break your finger."They have everything simple and sincere.

[ + 9 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85885
 21.08.2013
to this:

I am going to the subway now. In the middle of the tunnel, the train stops, twists three times, the driver’s door opens (I’m in the first wagon) and a man enters. Not a working metro, but an ordinary men in headphones with drones.
XXX: O_o
XXX: I went in and stood up like nothing happened next to me.

In the Petrograd metro on the 5th line (approximately on the Admiralty)?? to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85884
 21.08.2013
The logic:
Well, the kids went... I go and two boys run out on the road, four or five years old. They tell me
Girl, show us the pop!
I am silent...
They are louder:
Show me the pop!! to
I am silent...
One to another:
She will not show. Find another woman!

The Pipet! The younger generation ?

You should have looked at the grown-ups around - those for whom they asked...

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