x: I read the task in a crossword: the long friend of Maugli (3 letters) mmm...
It was fucking fucking, right?
A: I don’t even know...

<Ksyusha> Sash, make me an egg.
<Sasha> Can you do it yourself?
<Ksyusha> Well please!
<Sasha> Okay, do you need tomatoes, cheese?
<Ksyusha> No, an ordinary egg from ordinary human eggs!
Fuck, now I understand why she asked me for TT

CCR-60: A neighbor (over 40 years old) has run away. It says "I have viruses on my computer! They broke my keyboard! I cannot enter the internet address. I press and nothing happens. I (somewhere there) called, they said that this is a virus, they need to bring a computer to them, but it is very expensive, they say antivirus new need to buy. I didn’t believe the virus, but I went to see. The keyboard was wireless and there were batteries in it. I removed the batteries from the TV, it all worked. He is immediately in contact. Not even conducted...

xxx: Our administrator says that he needs to raise his salary, or that some idiots work in the accounting office.
Q: Is your admin talking?
XXX is yes. Try yours as well.
yyy: The instructions, which were attached to the recommendation from the past workplace, say nothing about it.
xx: This is an undocumented opportunity or bug.
YYY: Then it’s more fitch.
xxx: Judging by the nonsense that our admin carries, it is rather a bug.

XXX > is there from Jupiter? How is the weather?
yyy > storm warning
YYY > 2 million years ago

We have two aunts at work, fighting and cheerful, not afraid of god or shit bald. Their children are grown up and live far away. Per that is why on us, the green, tired of the radiation of monitors айтишнеках,
Implement your maternal instinct. They regret and feed all kinds of culinary dishes and fruits and vegetables from their "facade".

The boss enters the office and sees the apples.
The first (apparently out of indignation that without demand):
Do not eat! You will become a goat!
No, the apples are not young.

Thanks T. K. and G. Y. for the apples and for the good mood =)

Inna Melnik (13:45:06 20/08/2010)
Oh my God! I was called and released from work on the weekend!

In order not to ruin the first impression, do not get in the eye a second time.

Every man is a carpenter of his misfortune.
In the spring of 1986. After school, I went to some unknown Caucasus. Two hours of night. In the waiting room of Kharkov. There is no place at the station, so I sit on the train station square on my bag, but I can smoke. Ten meters from me, under a faint lamp, my comrade is standing and reading the newspaper he has found.
At first, a muddy monsoon is heard, and then, seeing a soldier from a distance under the lighthouse, five fools with a cassette magnetophone come to him.
Hey Salaga, let me measure the glasses.
My comrade, absolutely not a fighter, a small-growth eye-catcher. He is afraid and only awaits the murmuring. He took off his hat, the other took off his belt.
I asked questions:
Why don’t you smoke? Salabone, where is your machine? and TD. On his nose.
They made cream. A couple of scares for fear.
I looked at it out of the dark and smiled thoughtfully. You have the right to ask me: What fucking smiles have you laughed when five fools are courageous over your fighting comrade!!!? to
And I thought of the cruelty of the wicked woman’s fate: For these five unfortunate wicked men felt themselves kings of courage over the little soldier, but they did not even suspect that their life in that second had a crack, and that in fact they are inside the deepest ass, or rather inside the enormous undercover, hidden from them in the darkness. These poor, wicked spiders had the misfortune of entering the breach of this cave without noticing it. Here the podkova turned into a bubble. An enormous bucket, consisting of three hundred and fifty rils of personnel, and all, like me, mysteriously smiling, slowly, in complete silence, closed to the center. When these five understood everything, they had such horror on their faces that if they were shot, they could be photographed to scare an unclean force.

When it was finished, we dropped them into the bushes. I did not look at them, but about the seriousness of their condition, the tiny hatchbacks of the magnetophone, lying under the lamp, spoke eloquently.

The holidays are over. The resting members are returning to the mess.

(UPDOZNAK): Yesterday I sat down and thought about my windows and programs section C in 35 gigs
(UPDOZNAK): 1 place remains
(UPDOZNAK): I guess why I set this up.
(UPDOZNAK): started looking at the total size of folders on c
(UPDOZNAK): I deleted a few but it also came out 4
(UPDOZNAK): I think fucking we need to remove utilities to see what more spaces are shrinking
(UPDOZNAK): reached to the doctor web folder
(UPDOZNAK): weighed the folder and just wavelled the folder weighed 18 GB
(DAMNEPOX): the capture of
(UPDOZNAK): This fucking fall hid the floor of the jizz
(UPDOZNAK): I looked at the files it turns out to be tmp.
(UPDOZNAK): that is, the files in which he writes as he funnyly scanned the disk D last Saturday.
(UPDOZNAK): or how he fucking long scaned the disk F a month ago
(UPDOZNAK): the shortest lover of memoirs of the fox

Darth Vader
It was something about_0
I sit on the balcony and smoke. On the east, 5 degrees above the horizon hangs a planet, Jupiter seems. He is always there at this time. He hangs, I smoke, the evening is idyllic. And here this hernia will surround me with a beam of blinding white light. I immediately put on a flat pad of bricks. Only the thoughts did not shrink... the nuclear explosion in our country - "Bush mudak revenged his father." or maybe there they have - the empire is striking a retaliatory blow, where to take the lightsaiber, where the nearest bomb shelter, a naker to work 300 gram barrel of coffee bought...
The plane’s landing lights were turned on...
AlterEgo
Facepalm - Pull it up

I studied at MEI, lived in a study town. Next to our dormitory was a house where teachers lived, and one winter I saw a wonderful picture: a five-year-old boy and a luxurious huge tiger-colored dog were walking.
A window opened upstairs and a woman cried out, “Cesar, take him home!”
The dog grabbed the boy’s coat and carried him into the entrance, and the dog cried and shouted, “Dumb, let go, I don’t want to go home!”
I almost died of laughter.

No vacation is when you remove spam from travel agencies with tears.

evik (10:39:31 20/08/2010)
Yandex was joking yesterday.

evik (10:39:32 20/08/2010)
News
1st news - synoptics promise heavy rain next week
2nd news - the head of the MCS of the region promised to extinguish all fires by the end of the following week

Rage (10:39:59 20/08/2010)
I think it feels good ? ? ?

Zima: Well, it was enough for the girl in the darkness to make cool breasts, and the movie would like everyone...

Question on the forum:

XXX: Which country would you like to visit? and ;-)
Yyy: in Spain, to see the corrida
zzz: Go to the fourth vegetable base in a tear and blue beret. A slight buzz.
There will be you and the corrid and the torreadors with the banderilles :-D

When I’m told I’m not serious, I usually answer something like, “Yes, I’m not 50 years old!”
HH: Well, I’m worried about one question...
What should I do after I hit 50?? to

Timmy (14:15:33 20/08/2010)
So you fool.

nickel' (14:15:41 20/08/2010)
I have nothing

Timmy (14:15:41 20/08/2010)
She has a webpage like that.

nickel' (14:15:47 20/08/2010)
Not at home

Timmy (14:15:51 20/08/2010)
well
And the scanner?

XXX: What does she want?
YYY: All the time the nonsense writes a single one. How do you do what you do, then two hours not writing and about 12 sends "I went to bed. Tagged with"
yyy: and so every three times a week.