A breast is enough for one female breast, an adult - and two are always not enough.

The preamble...
An old joke.
- Professor, do you not take the exam from a slightly drunk S-C-C-student?
Okay, I will accept...
The student opens the door and cries out in the hallway.
The baby b. F-F to F-F to F!

The Ambulance.
The year 1998. Pedagogical institute in the city... I will not, however, call it...
The dormitory. The morning. Not quite asleep after yesterday's drunken student by the nickname Semenich must go to take the exam in economics. At the same time, he already has two academic debts, and the third means leaving the institute with a pleasant prospect of kicking up the kirzaches and so on the delights of service in the Russian Army.
Semenich long and stubbornly wakes up... It doesn’t work out... At the end of the day, someone from his classmates begins to chew him on his cheeks.
Semenych (opening his eyes) said: “A, eh? What problems?”
- Semenich, @@@@ mother, today is an exam in economics.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh! Just now, I’m going to shut down...
He stands up, and, stirring up, reaches the laundry... At this time, Leha’s neighbor comes out of the neighboring room, and, seeing him having a hammer.
Semenich, brings him almost a full bottle of port wine:
Semenic, let’s go on! You won’t even go to the institute.
Semenich quickly consumes the whole bottle directly from the throat... Then comes into a state of absolute inaptitude to use...
Neighbors in the room - they are Semenich's classmates - long mock Lech.
Then they take Semenich under their hands and do not lead him, do not carry him to the institute...
Institute... Drunk Semenich is brought to the exam... Two girls of excellence urge the teacher to exhibit Semenich TRI...
Because otherwise he will leave the institute... (Economics at this faculty is a purely non-profile subject).
Economica looks at this picture with deep surprise... Then she agrees... Semenich tries to give a check, while holding behind the corner of the party... But, leaving the party, he barely grows on his back... One of the girls takes a check from him and relates it to the teacher, then puts it in his load pocket...
The replica of the economy: “Yes... I’ve seen everyone, but I’ll never forget your course!”
After the exam...
The roommatees lead Semenych - already a little sober - home... On the way they go to the dining room and buy beer... Near the door to the rectorate
Semenich is completely distracted, and he begins to scream about how he loves the economy.
After a couple of comments, “Semenich, you are what, o*well? Now the rector if he hears - you will immediately be expelled to***?” The student gets on the head, and then goes to the knock-out.
The roommatees, taking all kinds and remembering all the ancestors in Semenich, have difficulty relating him to the commonplace, pour him a "bitter" glass of vodka and put him to sleep.
The evening...
Opening his eyes, our hero breaks up with the question, “What number is it today?”
The 23rd.
- B****, I am an examination in economics about al, third tail, all, I ***YES,
Expelled to ***!
“Semenich, calm down, you gave him up.
You are what, oh oh? I did not go there!
- Semenych, calm down, open the check, you have three!
Semenich gets a catch... He sees a three... He wipes his eyes...
From where?!! I did not go to the exam!
“Yes, you didn’t go there, think... you were carried there! And from there, UCO
Also also!

an ordinary night. Husband and wife in bed, can't sleep: a neighbor's child crashes behind the wall.
She is:
Do you still want to have a child?
He is:
I have to take revenge somehow!

Specialized school of the Olympic Reserve. One I read wrong :)

The officer came back from the trip and said:
They go with a colleague on the track, the rules are not even violated, here they are stopped for excess. On the radar 90, they say, what a fuck, and the gaiters say that the "60" sign hanged. The boss and colleagues argued - there was no sign, the gait - was. Sh. and K. went to see if there was a sign, and in the bushes really stands, from the track is not seen at all. Well, they, not thinking long, pulled him out of the ground and threw him into the cane, called the gaiters - they said that some pudors again (!) The sign disappeared. I had to let go in peace.

Fuck, the grandfather who shot the bandit who broke into him, sits in jail
and a drunk man without rights (previously detained), who shot down a 12-year-old child, bears an administrative penalty because there is no violation of the PDD!? to

The fucking country.

xxx: throw, you just don't think about me, I never did that, just for interest decided to check =))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: In the bathroom, the member measured with an ambulance, and when he left, he forgot to pick it up.
YYYY: Ahahahah! =) is
xxxh: I sit at the shuttle near the bus, mom passes by and smiles to put the line on the table...
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)

Modern life is her mother, if you are seriously dating, you must definitely write about it in contact, otherwise it is not considered...
c) Durindin

People, what is being done?? to
On August 6, Mr. Aksakov called for a devaluation of the ruble by 35-40%. This measure is contrary to the interests of Russian citizens, as it will lead to a sharp depreciation of their ruble savings. Earlier, he also proposed to introduce criminal liability for small debts on loans. What kind of anthropologists are heading for us?Do not remain indifferent - please, bring to the top, let the people know.

Schröder, Cat, 0_o, 1 minute

Some wives try to inflict a husband on their best friend:

I asked my girlfriend to check my husband’s loyalty, and she really slept with him.

In Kiev, a fire on a vegetable storage detonated 10 tons of peppers. Experts associate this with the high content of seller in berries.

It was about a year ago at an interview in the office, where I am currently working as ODMINOM.
HR in Education?
I: This year's diploma, specialty - an engineer of IP electronic commerce.
HR: Experience in IT?
I: Officially - a half-year odmin, unofficially - the year 3 has already haltered...
HR: Did you no longer work officially?
I was working.
HR : Who?
I: at 16 - a sales representative, at 17 - a chef in a restaurant and an elite supermarket, at 18 - a vendor of YAMAHA, then SWATCH, then an elite alcohol, at 19 - the head of a supermarket warehouse, at 20 - electrical power plant and sanitary. Apparently everything...
HR: O_o I will call the head of IT.
We took, fucking, now in addition to compops, they ask for cheesecakes to look, car alarms, video surveillance, telephony, electrical wiring, meat recipes ask and which scooter is cooler...

Say - before pressing OK in the program settings, do you press "Apply"?
And in the games - after downloading the saved game immediately do quick saving?
If so, then explain – where, hell, this reflection comes from?! to

Win 95 and Half Life

Do you remember my nails?
2: Well long, all the sides of the patchwork?
If, to this already used to, she somewhere from the network deducted that men like during sex, when they are in... well, you understand?
Fuck to fuck!! Which kind of shit did you put on somewhere!! I didn’t break up with my husband about that!! She also read somewhere this hernia what type of anus to stimulate need, I fucking from the surprise of the hemp in the hemp did not jump out when she so delighted me decided!!!! to
1: in the same way)

to this:
Do you remember how, despite our parents’ prohibitions not to go far from home, we left? And nothing happened to us. Remember when you were 13 years old?
The children did not mother in all, did not think about the buckle, about the strawberries? Do you remember that in the past rats were poisoned, that mints were doing their business, that GAI was warning against violations, rather than punishing for already committed violations?
Do you remember that the country did not hold on gas with oil?
And I’ve noticed that you’re scratching things that you’re never going to create, because your generation is worthless, except wiping your pants in the office you’ve never achieved in this life. The next generation is even worse.
It is ===
When our parents stopped the goats, we didn’t understand why Dad puts the goat on the right. When we saw photos of missing children on police stands, we thought they had fled the house, they are now being sought.

And when the friends in the third class bought cigarettes from their parents, and in the eighth they told local bombs to buy them vodka, the grandmothers in the shops shouted: in our time it wasn't. And before that, their grandmothers were breathing, looking at the blinds pulling papyrus in freight wagons. So when was it "THE" time?

...And the pioneers, instead of carrying grandmothers across the road, all the same fucking the chief... And nothing changed, except for home computers and unlimited internet...

Oh yeah, I forgot the code phrase: shut up, they’re going to shut up.

As the whole civilized world knows, the favorite entertainment of Russian hackers is cutting out sites located in the deaf corners of the world. After that, these sites, having two visitors a day, immediately become known to the world. This was the case with Estonian websites three years ago. This was the case with Georgian websites last year. The advertising charity of “Russian hackers” who free-to-charge none-needed websites is simply incredible. Christ did not do as much free work for others as these miracle hackers do.

c) Webplanet

Television reports: the cockroaches have appeared again in the city. There was a period when they all disappeared, without any apparent reason. And now just like that, without any apparent reason, they appeared again. The newly appeared cockroaches are resistant to the effects of cellular communication and have a more sturdy chitin armor, which is not so easy to crush with a tap.

Going to Upgrade? O_O

I understand where so many unrelated citations came from... guys! About the fact that "who has 3 quotes on the main one, any one will give" was a joke!

But here in our office, Sisadmin is young, always shaved, rides a car, doesn’t drink and never wears sweaters.
He’s not real, right?

Call the coordination center of the Russian Federation.
I: No.SU domain names are registered.
Q. And the RU?
Shit is normal.
(Wild rust of all departments on both sides of the phone)