bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85623
 15.08.2013
I remember once I took money from the ATM and entered 5000, and before that I always took out a thousand or five-hour, and what is bigger through the bank. I then still needed small bills, and this unit spit out one paper.
I remembered this and a week later, when I was shooting again, I entered the 4900 to hire the system. The bank was clever and hired me. I, of course, suspected something wrong when he whispered for half a minute, but he did not look. Meanwhile, the unit spit out 49 papers per hundred. The wallet of Ohrenev from such a number of bubbles did not turn back and did not enter the pocket. For the first time, he spit the bubble in his pockets from the dissatisfied haray and badly spit on the Basurman equipment.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85622
 15.08.2013
by Joser:
I always thought that “Hungarian” notation was promoted by Microsoft at a time when C++ was not even more popular than C++.

by Goodkat:
C++ has never been more popular than C++, they have always been roughly equally popular :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №85621
 15.08.2013
>> Unlike foreign weddings, AutoVAZ has never recalled its cars.

Yes, even when the tests suddenly turned out that the electric steering reinforcer has the dangerous property of cutting out completely suddenly, unexpectedly increasing the load on the steering wheel. No one thought wrong about recalling cars (everyone remembers how many budget bugs were poured into the factory? What will happen to the management after the resignation?But even in general to recognize the design miscalculation - the official answer says that, say, he has such a standard function - this is how everything was conceived.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85620
 15.08.2013
and Elena:
If you are lost in the forest, wait for autumn. In the autumn, the birds will fly south.
by Arthur:
Or wait until the mosquito grows on your north side.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №85619
 15.08.2013
About most of the articles on the hub can be said as follows:
I didn’t understand anything, but it was interesting.

[ + -7 - ] Comment quote №85618
 15.08.2013
xxx: hello, my ancestors in Vladik for two days to remove the tag that velkam
yyy: no... I have a computer noise has become hell I will treat him tonight
YYY: Do you have a machine oil, you like a cooler?
I'll tell you, but only you keep silent and no one's word OK
YYY: Did you give aliens the formula of non-inertia oil?
xxx: I lubricate with vaginal lubrication. 100 rubles in the pharmacy
YYY: You’re a fool...do you mean that you always have a lubricant at home?
That is the kind of thing. 😉
YYY: I knew it! I knew you were a fucker!! Wait until 9 a.m. and let the flowers come!

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №85617
 15.08.2013
I talked to my son last year.
When are you going on vacation? Come with me in August. We go for a week or two to the village.
-Batya, yes, I wanted to do it myself in August, but Marinka (his girlfriend) ate my whole brain so that I could go on vacation in March. She needs to do that, I don’t understand.
“Listen, daddy, daddy will explain everything to you right now. Is her birthday at the beginning of March?
and yes.
And then March 8th.
Well and what?
And here you appear on the stage, a beautiful man who has just gotten a vacation.
Fuck it!
and here. Father can't be fooled, Daddy in his youth worked as an electrician in a sewing factory. There were thousands and a half of such clever girls.

P.S. Two weeks in the village with my son had a wonderful time.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85616
 15.08.2013
When I check the network printer in a remote office, I send it to print.
and Zhenya! And I ran through the whole office behind an empty sheet!!by 111
There is a point in the corner.
Gone with 1!!! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №85615
 15.08.2013
From work:
111: and Sereza told me that in Windows there is silently "economic version of the Office"
Chapter 22: WordPad
111: No, not that
222: Then Notepad + Paint... Only this is not "economy", it is "hardcore" version...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №85614
 15.08.2013
I went on vacation for the winter more than a hundred cans of strawberries, compotes, salts, refuels, raggs, etc.
I thought, and who is it all now will be (all domestic ulcers or forever on diets).
The answer is: get married urgently.
For the Symphony Orchestra or Hungry Honduras.

[ + 12 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85613
 15.08.2013
Bumper-dumper: I was on the train home from MSK. Antique wagon: the windows do not close, there is no conditioner, the lamps do not light, the whole train is filled with old babies (I so hoped that in the coupe with the girl I would go beautiful (the grandmother, with whom I was driving, said, and I slept so well. I dreamed that we were going to Kirov, into the woods, to Navalny." I woke up)) sorting someone decided to modernize so that you are standing with your feet on the push, risking to slide and hit your foot in the pipe to slide shit on the rails( dumb 2 rubber pads were glued, the plastic chair turned into shit). The whole toilet in the dirt - you will not sit on it, but in the pipe with the foot of reluctance, so you crave, standing with cancer in front of the toilet + the car swings on the move + you need to avoid the splashes raised by your flying potatoes + the member must be held so as not to get dirty. I felt like a bomber pilot.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №85612
 15.08.2013
The client is constantly interested in how things go, we have not yet taken up for work. I ask the running boss:
Again she writes to her to answer that?
- Write: Dear Tatiana Sanna, lick the bald, we haven't done anything yet

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №85611
 15.08.2013
The bird of happiness is often a white crown.

[ + 32 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85610
 15.08.2013
The Saturday morning.
A woman who has fallen into religion in the living room kneels and reads her long prayers.
Hungry from yesterday's evening, the poppy flies from the kitchen to the living room and back, trying to draw attention to his problem. Convinced of the futility of the efforts made, he flew to my bedroom, sat next to the pillow and also began to pray. But he reduced the prayer to two lines:
Father, give us the bread.
was polished.
He got up, went to the kitchen and fed the bird.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №85609
 15.08.2013
I never believed in the equality of people: a nuclear physicist will easily learn to tint, but here a tint of heros with two will trigger a nuclear reactor.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №85608
 15.08.2013
Google has issued the word "autogen":
Interpretation of dreams.
www.prisnilos.su/sni/20.html
Your wife asks to buy autogen - this indicates that you have some discomfort in family life.
Even more would. Your wife, a man

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85607
 15.08.2013
Customer service manager, client of the car salon.
Q: How long does the diagnosis take?
Maybe 2 hours, maybe 2 days, maybe 2 months.
I have a Land Rover for 2 months, it costs a lot of money!! to
See: you have not heard such a joke that land rovers ride either on service or from service.)))
"SM was fined 10k for customer complaint"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №85606
 15.08.2013
I love people who write - call, just to talk, learn how to do things, laugh, without a reason and without a reason.
These are smoked people.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85605
 15.08.2013
Announced by:
On Saturday at 10 a.m. there will be a meeting of the residents of our house. Agenda of the day:
“Lo... Lo!”
Selection of assets.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85604
 15.08.2013
There are two problems in Russia. One because of the other.
The attention!
The asphalt only cooled for a few hours. Strength takes 24 hours.
YOU, the wise fools, are riding around the fence and riding on fresh asphalt. You complain, you complain to yourself. The idiots.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna