Mother: Welcome to you! What happened to the keyboard?

Because of the fact that I often smoke naked on the balcony, the apartments in the house opposite were expensive.

n00btype: wanted to buy a book, spent three books, in the end, the whistleblower took

It is useless to argue with the vast majority of smokers. Even realizing the wrongness of their position, they will stand on their own, protecting themselves and their habits. It is very difficult for a person to admit that he is doing something wrong. Therefore, we will always hear "Achotakov?". Smoked at the stop? Ashotaka? go away Smoked all the entrance so that as people climbed to their floor, they crawled in cough attacks?Nuachotakova? This is all nonsense, they are fooling. I am not coughing. and etc.
Same as the moms who bring their children to restaurants. Either they feed their uncovered breasts on the bus, or they take their children to the toilet in the middle of the street. of Nuachotakova?
Just like people who fall under their feet with cigarettes, fantasies, bottles, banks. Which are so dumb and powerless that they cannot bring all this to the urna, which stands 10 meters away. Everyone is doing it, I am not the first.
Everyone is comfortable, and that’s the main thing.

What did you say on Friday?
Canakau: Go to the bar, then to me... I woke up naked on the balcony on Sunday.
You do not have a balcony.
Canakau: This is exactly
Diamond: Understood, well noted means

My daughter went to the disco. I went to sleep safely. Somewhere at 4 in the morning! I wake up! It is early in the morning, and the child is still walking somewhere! I call her number, no one takes it. Then I pick up, and there they drop. Well, I’m generally in panic, I call again, I hear a sleepy voice, “Mom, what are you doing? “”



Of course, “Where are you? ! to “”



Mom, you are the worst. I sleep in the neighboring room.



We understand in the morning.



“You,” I ask, “why didn’t you pick up the phone?



So I hear the phone call that you are calling me, and I know that I am sleeping at home, what to do.



Okay well. Why dropped it later? ! to



Hm is. I decided to look around to see if I was really at home.

I was driving in a plateau from the sea, and my mother and son (4-5 years old) were driving in the neighborhood on the side shelf. The boy was very active and was carrying the car all day. When it came time to put him to sleep, the guy decided not to give up without a fight, but his mother laid him on the lower shelf, lay next to him, pressed him to the wall, got A.S. Pushkin's book "The Tale of Tsar Saltan" and began to read. It was a gesture. She not only read absolutely without intonation, as instructions to the vacuum cleaner, but also not noticing signs of interpenetration.

- Three girls under the window coveted late in the evening if I was a queen says one girl then for the whole baptized world I would prepare a feast if I was a queen.

The child quickly gave up and cried:

Mom, please don’t read it. I will sleep myself!

His mother was silent, and he immediately fell asleep.

The guy saved the whole car, for which we forgave him a whole day of running.

Ironforge: Mushun, I need you as a woman.
Humming bird: I don’t know how to cook borst.))) I agree with the rest.
Ironforge: I am now on a different issue. and :)
Humming bird, say it now!
Ironforge: My colleague and I have been struggling. It was so, without fanaticism. She told me that she would not marry me. I am too elegant. What did she mean?! to
Humming bird: I knew I wasn’t one!! to
Humming bird: Overall, you have a very good taste.
Humming bird: and when a guy looks more beautiful than a girl, it’s angry. It always seems to be directed.
Ironforge I understand. thank you. and :)
Humming bird: and if any other goat will tell you about marriage, come to me her address, I'll give her a pathlet :angel:

My aunt worked as a psychologist in a kindergarten. Following her words.

One day I called a teacher to the director. After the "call on the carpet" the teacher comes to me all pale and with turning tears. As it turned out, to the head came the parents of one of the children with the fact that their child complained about beating her teacher. They demanded an immediate dismissal of an incompetent employee. By the way, the teacher was a calm intelligent woman and this could not happen. The parents were invited to discuss the situation, where I was already present. They found out that when the parents took the child from the kindergarten, this conversation took place (R-parents, D-child):

Q: How did the day go, okay?

D is UGU.

R: Oh, what kind of blue on your hand, are you beaten? ! to

D is UGU.

Q: Who was the teacher?

D is UGU.

I offered to invite the child and talk to him, which the parents at first stunned, say, about which you can talk here in general, but then agreed. When the child was brought (hereinafter I - I, the child - D):

I am: Hi, the light. What is your beautiful dress and where did you get it from?

My mom bought it! : )

I: Oh, what a good mom you have... Well, turn in it... Oh, beauty... Oh, and where do you get the blue on your pen?

D: Yes, we were playing on the street, and Sascha ran to me, took it on his shoulders and let’s shake!



With all the words of my beloved chicken, wow! It turns out that the child after the kindergarten, was in his thoughts, and answered the parents unambiguously, without thinking about it. They are useful and misunderstandings can be avoided.

I go on the route. There is a mother and her son (a boy 5 years old). There is the following dialogue between them:

C: Mom, why do people grow up?

M: Well, that is how life is arranged. You will grow too.

C: But I don’t want to be an adult.

Being an adult is interesting.

C: I can’t see my dad.

I go to the theater quite often. Sometimes with a husband, sometimes with a daughter, often with friends. And what I can say is that the horror of the 90 percent hall is full of disgraceful women.

Fucking about smokers.
I remember an old joke:

Two priests are talking.

1C: Well, and the youth now, daddy, gone! I am standing on the bus station,
I see a boy with a childhood in front of everyone's eyes!
2C: It’s still a thing, daddy! Hoping to eat in the electric car, I went out to the tampon to smoke.
and there! Drinking is natural!! to
He wiped out his shame on my servant and said:
"And smoking, daddy, in the tambour is not allowed!"

x: Why the Russian Federation in the coins of 2016?
Y: Maybe they are already doubting...

xxx: stumbled on the dem: the road where the asphalt is carved in the form of Tetris figures. Signed by Tetris Rashn Edishn. Why is the Russian game rushing? O_O

I was in a school rock band.
The shooter was long sought. Bass guitar, rhythm guitar, and everything.
A guy comes. Satisfied and gone. He is inspiring, but sometimes does not get into solo.

They suffered.
There was a wolf. Guys listen to me. When it is carried, I will salt on the shock from above. All is norm.
Vovchik was a musician with experience!

When I was 5 years old, it was the oldest group in the kindergarten. In the bedroom along the walls of the beds stood single, and in the center adjacent. I slept just in the center, and Masha “slept” on the next bed. I turned to the side, chatting with my friends, then Masha chewed me and I envyed, turned to the nef and began to chew her.



The door opens, the teacher enters and asks, “What’s going on here?” A couple of wise men replied, "And Petya and Masha have sex." I was raised from the bed and put in the corner. In the corner. for having sex. In the garden.

History of 1990.
I and two of my colleagues went on a trip to Denmark. We stayed at Bed&Breakfast in the "country area". We went to Copenhagen on a suburban train. I go into a smoking car. There were literally a couple of passengers in the car. We go, we go, we read. My ladies from the non-smoking wagon for some reason stuck to me in the wagon. I started hysterically asking me not to smoke. You can see the odor of tobacco smoke.
Thus, the anti-smokers there, breeding the shit, reminded me of those hysterical ladies.

When they come to you, it’s one thing. Okay, let's say if we went out on the street, approached any entrance to any building, approached the lighthouse - this is all we go to you in a smoking wagon. Let it be. But when it smells in the apartment, what do you think of it, hysteric? That we did not come to our apartment, but to the apartment of a smoker?

The story happened in 9th grade. He wrote a book about the hero of our time. Not long thinking began to write on the last chapter "Fatalist", because of the whole book she liked the most. I wrote all night and half until my parents went to sleep. In the morning, when he came to school, he told his friends that he was saying, "Ready, now as I read!" In short, I read the composition before the whole class and got two with the words "You couldn't, so you wrote off the internet. Tomorrow you’ll come with what you’ve written.” Ok to Ok.

I’m telling my friends that tomorrow I’m going to get rid of everything and I’m not going to fix anything, even if there’s a complete achinea. So it went, I chose the first one that I got offered by a helpful Yandex. I didn’t know at the time that my friends (4 people) talked to almost the whole class about this story. In the first lesson, I read “my” composition. After finishing, he got 5 with the words: "Look, now you can see what I wrote myself. I tried.” I sat down under the loud whisper of the whole class. Galina Ivanovna, so could not understand this sharp laughter.

I have not loved school literature since then. Ordinary, I still love it.

In the 11th grade, all the boys were taken to the shooting field. Each was given a Kalashnikov machine machine and 9 bullets in a horn. I came to school on the appointed day, dreaming of finally holding a weapon in my hands.

We were gathered at 8: 50 on the street near the school waiting for the bus to take us to the field. I decided to quickly run to the dining room and drink a glass of compot. I come in 5 minutes and there is no one. I cursed my delay. A boy from the 9th grade is riding over me.

I could not miss this opportunity. What to do? He ran to a nearby military station.

Where are the shootings?

About 40 kilometers from the city.

- # and % # and %! ! to ! to

- We now "rafic" will go in that direction, recruits in another city will be lucky. Sit down with them.



I was landed on the highway and told to go out on the other side 10 kilometers on the fields.

And I ran. On the way I met a shepherd, and he adjusted my path.

When he saw me, he couldn’t believe his eyes.



I was able to shoot from the shell.

There is a place in Kursk.
One of the saunas there is creatively called "Courchevel"