xxx: the new head of our district management of the municipality is painted with a unique figure, which is terribly similar to a dog of mulch about Lolik and Bolik, if you remember. Depending on his mood or rush - the dog gets eggs, a tail with a torch or a twisted pig tail, smells something under his legs or in front of him... here was today's with echoed eyes. We collect all his letters, and then, if you list quickly, you get a cartoon :)

xxx: In connection with the release of Pokemon Go, we decided to shoot a fun story: how we chase Pikachu on a tank. Even a tank at the Defense Ministry was asked for this case.
YYY: Have you been quick?
XXX: I am not. But the chiefs, who banned the video, because Pikachu is yellow, and this is one of the colours of Ukraine, and we are his tank, and because of this the edition will acquire a bad political image - it seems, yes.

Listen to the story. I used an antivirus. He went in and looked. So, this is what you have? And here? and ah. and clearly. Where is the license? I am a decent program, I will not work for love. Love the proof!
He jumped crazy.
Antivirus – what is it? I will remove. Or somehow worrying. I cannot so.
I switched off the antivirus and started a new one.
What, does it not give? Those of you!
Now we divorce. Look here, you are here, you are here, you are here. And it is yours forever. Look, it’s a new version. I love such. When the soft is fresh, every pig sweats it.
Antivirus waking up: Oh, what was it? I was so drunk...what? It was, it was. As in a dream. The ring on the finger, a record in the register. Now I am with you forever. Where my predecessor is, I will go to clean up. What is it? The scream? You are not ashamed, what a shit! I pulled into the house! We have to clean it all!
You guys, you guys, you guys, I’ve gotten rid of you all! Well, he didn’t wash his feet when he went in, he didn’t wash his hands. But that’s not a puppy, bro!
Antivirus - ha, 97 threats pulled. of 102. You are Tripper! Don’t listen to him, he wants you evil. Now you have me and you don’t need anyone else.
Going away is a goat! Life is evil! The Goat!

Blink is scary. I married so.

At the end of the answer, a few words about sexism. Only the woman decides whether the future child will live or not. A woman has such a priority right to a child in a divorce that it is easier to say that a man does not have it at all.

If you want a child (in case of divorce, preventing abortion) - fight

And then give you the right - you will have children, then the first ores, why was it to give birth? You will not get the food out of you.

Discussion of memories of first days with rights:

Aaa: I had the 123th Mercedes diesel, 2 liters. I remember every run here.
bbb: And I first had an eclipse with a turbine, I remember that time as one continuous overtaking. And then I went on a wheezy ride, I remember both of them well.

I visited a small town. He got out of the hotel, got all the papers, went out. There was a lot of time before the train, decided to leave a suitcase on the reception (common practice for large cities) and walk around the city. I ask the girl at the stand: Can I leave my suitcase? and. The girl decides to clarify with the elderly by title. And here I hear in their dialogue: He was discharged, right? Well then on what grounds, because he is no longer a hooligan...

It was so easy to decide my fate.

Stoppers woke up under the windows. Screams, clashes and all that. A brother-in-law of 110 kg takes a paper for stickers, which is printed there and goes down. Then every stallion climbs on the mausoleum and leaves. I ask what I printed?

Certificate of Master of the World. Orals, as victims, threatened to the police to complain about self-rule!

XXXX: I was pedaling from lunch to work, I was driving here on a narrow, low-pass trail... A guy, thick, in headphones, was going in front of me. I called him by phone, and I screamed - pooher, and do not go around anyway... Going hands under the music something mashed, I followed him slide slowly... Apopheosis happened when he lost, and so delicious, long and ringing!!!! and... he looked around and looked back, and did not burn him :))) It should have been to see his roar!!!!!!!! to

I’ll go to coworking, I’ll think about messaging.
BBB: We sit three on 10 square meters. We have a camcorder.

Once at work.
XHX: Imagine you just closed up with the guys in the room on the first floor and sat down two pizzas.
WOW: How many were you?
XHX: Man 5, and also the designer, zzz, you know her.
Q: Did you put her under you?
Xhx: I’ll tell you more, she’s the organizer of the event.

A friend of a programmer told me. He works in a small office, where he, the boss, and a couple of personalities of questionable orientation, such as a carpenter, designer, etc. He and the boss do coding accordingly. The office is quite successful, everything with money, especially the boss. The boss, like a terrible autistic programmer, always goes to lunch alone in various business centers nearby. On one (not)beautiful day, a new employee is hired, or more precisely, the employee is hired. And the employee, don’t be stupid, put an eye on the boss and let him go for lunch. She was, by the way, very sympathetic. However, the boss was deeply concerned about this, for him, his inner world was important. But I could not send the employee, day by day everything was dark and dark, the lines of code were not written anymore. He was also dismissed as a noble man. Then he had a clever plan. I called this friend himself and said, "That way, give friendship, let me pay you a premium every month, and you Anka (suppose she was called Anka) with truths and lies for lunch." A friend cried out that it was generally a good option to cut off the money and began to take care of the employee. Flowers, candy, and so came to the joint lunch. Currently married, 2 children. I forgot to ask if the boss still pays him the prize for keeping Anka away from him.

xxx: I have now received puzzles from the management for what (I quote literally) "you have the wrong facial expression for the job".
I’m sitting here, I think... does the shaking eye fit into the corporate concept. Or wear dark glasses. I don’t know how right)

WOW: It’s right to get in the eye for such claims. Do they need to go, or do they need to go?

XHH: In our case, as in the rules of the arbitration of horse sports - the referee can reduce the points to the rider. I think the horse is sad.

Forget with your feet!

I often have a dream: in a room around the circle, my numerous leaders are sitting, I stand in the center, and loudly send each one a nahuy, slowly turning around my axis.

A case from the life of a courier service in the SPB.

There comes a guy on the vacancy of a courier. discussed everything. At the end, he clarifies:

I will not go by car, but by car.
You are 18 years old and already have a car?
No, not right
...??? to
I have a personal driver.
and???! to
Dad said, “You’re already a healthy forehead, go to work.”

hhh: You understand that you are writing too actively when your contextual advertising is an offer to buy wolfram hexachloride powder with a discount. In English. It is'

I was 10 years old. I went to my cousin’s house in the autumn. He suggested that I go to the colloquial garden for apples in the morning. I agreed, but asked if the guards would rush us. The uncle said, “Don’t do it, tribe. It is OK.” Ok so ok.

At about 5 o’clock in the morning we went to the garden. The garden was large, several hectares. As an adult man, I was serious about harvesting fruit, at least before lunch. I decided to pick up a few bags. Uncle had thought about it. I’m not driving here for the first time.

Upon arriving at the place, we went out to the central hallway of the garden and stopped. There was silence around, occasionally interrupted by the knock of apples falling to the ground.

Uncle, by the way, a middle-aged man, a height of two meters, cutting the seedling in his shoulders. Looking over the garden, he smiled and, taking a full chest of air, the Akis lion cried out, "Oh, see the Sukabla! The shooters!”

From the scream I sat down and covered myself with the bags I held in my hands. What happened in the garden cannot be described in words.

A loud shell of branches as in a hurricane, shells of bodies falling from trees, the ringing of overturned veers. Then the top of several dozen legs moving away in different directions and after the sounds of the start and start of the aircraft. Mostly motorcycles and motorcycles. When it was all over, my uncle stepped forward. After passing through the garden, we squeezed the apples carefully selected by other people's hands from the abandoned beads and bags into our bags and submerged the bags into the car. I still asked on the account of the guards, what the uncle whispered and assured that they also heard him well, so they will not come out of the guard for lunch. But mentally they are grateful to him because after such uncle's arrivals in the next at least a week no one worries the garden.

XXX: I would go to work, but I don’t have time.

We go to work with my wife in the morning, pressed into the rear glass of the bus, the BMW X5 stops next to the lighthouse, a boy 7-8 years old sits in the front seat and with a pleasant sight wraps a sandwich with red squirrel.
This is the old good class inequality.

I smoke in the morning on the balcony, there is silence in the courtyard and there is a penetrating voice of a baby 3-4 years old.

Look at your breasts! ! to ! to

My mom and uncle don’t want to watch either. I look out of the balcony from the table, the baby is throwing his finger on the tree.

Breasts and breasts!

an ugly boy, cheated on his uncle and judging by the curious roses from other windows is not me alone!

The story happened in 2009, when I was 13. I had an old phone that, in addition to its basic functions, had an FM receiver. I often listened to radio, mostly Europe + and Russian Radio. On the radio stations at the time gave souvenirs to those who would call at a certain time. Once again listening to the music on "Europe", I just got to the announcement of the draw - "He who calls us third, will get a box of Coca-Cola from our sponsor! “”

I decided to act. Then it seemed to me that getting a box of cola on the shell was the highest reward, especially considering that parents were very strict about this kind of "chemistry" and never bought anything like that. I’ve even imagined how I’ll boast to my friends, and then we’ll all share the prize together.

I begin to wait. There was the first one who called, after a couple of songs was the second one who called. Leaders include advertising and I understand – this is my chance! I put the phone on the car ring, and with trembling in the shower, I listen to the phone. Constantly busy. But I didn’t lose hope, and for the seventh time I hear the long whispers. My heart beats crazy, not believing that I will be answered now. The tube is raised, and I hear a pleasant female voice from the radio host:

Q: Hello, you have called Europe +! How are you called?

I am Oleg

Q: Oleg, you can send a greeting to all our listeners!

I: I want to send a greeting to High School No. 16, 7B class, hello boys!

Q: Oleg, do you know that we have a prize joke?

I : Yes..

A: I congratulate you! Your prize is a Coca-Cola box, stay on the line!

I: Thank you very much!

I can’t believe my ears, I won. With a stupid smile on my face, I wait for the host to finish speaking and tell me how to pick up my prize:

Q: How old are you?

I am: 13

A: Call the parents

I run to my mom, “Mom, mom, I’ve won a coke box! Hold the phone!”

Q: Hi, this is Europe + radio, your son won the Coca-Cola box, tell me where you live?

I don’t believe in free gifts, don’t call here anymore! (He throws the phone)

I almost cry, I begin to explain what and how, and in response I hear only "The car is still harmful, then thank you! “”

It seemed small, but it was offensive. I still remember my mother in a joke. After that, I won nothing more.

I found someday at junior courses in the summer a job at the factory as a loader. The group was imported almost entirely from a neighboring village. The peculiarity was that although the brigadier lived in the same village, no one knew his name and surname, did not know how old he was - Lukich and Lukich, looked at 45-50.

We had Lenka - a aunt of thirty-seven or forty years, stunned, forever stumbling on everyone. I couldn’t fuck in three months of work.

Well, one day I got on a “guess how old I am?”

Well, I think I was allowed to connect, “Well, 33-34,” I say.

What are you, oh oh? I am 27!

I begin to say goodbye to life.

I thought 50! Giving out from the corner of Lucky.

Lenka became the color of cancer, stumbled on the spot and decided to avenge, for some reason almost a whisper:

What do you think about in your 60s? ! to

Lukic grew up, looked for a few seconds and admitted:

In fact, I am 75.

Over Lenka laughed a long time, she then went to the neighboring factory :)