bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87286
 21.09.2013
TV, First channel - News - Weather:
Since the beginning of the year in Moscow has fallen 680 millimeters of precipitation - almost 7 meters of rain.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87285
 21.09.2013
When I decide, I will give my wife on March 8 not eyebrows with a diamond, but socks and shampoo.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87284
 21.09.2013
I met with my family, my brother and sister. We went for a long walk, talked, and talked. I feel my leg starts to pull.
I say my leg is sick.
What was that injury?
I: No, I just have the left shorter than the right (it really is such a bag) here and I have to strain a little to sit on the right.
The sister with untrue horror in the eyes says: my legs always hurt, probably they are both shorter!!! to
I am still scratching.)

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87283
 21.09.2013
Switched channels, got on the show "I want to go to Viagra". I have not seen a show like this in one broadcast before!
And Meladze himself, on a journey, has specific problems with urination: he will want to suck, so he will not have time to take off the pants, as someone is sucking.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87282
 21.09.2013
I visited a friend’s house. She has a cat of the Sphinx breed. After playing the image with the usual batic, the expression "Turn the bald" began to have a dual character!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87281
 21.09.2013
by 4pda
max_shadov, - Son, my dad and I know you've installed iOS 7. It’s your choice, you’re an adult. You are our son anyway. My cosmetics in the closet.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №87280
 21.09.2013
Flo Rida - Whistle - Anyone ever thought about how terrible this song is? : & lt;

yyy: a guy asks a girlfriend to whistle in his whistle, what’s going on, maybe he’s a coach? Well, or a milician, then the stick will probably hold.

zzz: well, and the phrase "throw the stick" is a whisper about towns

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87279
 21.09.2013
EET: By the way, one of us bought a diesel Audi Q7, so he says that after refuelling on one gas station with diesel fuel, saw an inscription on the display of the car that biofuel was refuelled.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87278
 21.09.2013
Such a dilemma - to go to the Big Theatre on the Swan Lake or buy a new phone?! and :)

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87277
 21.09.2013
In fact, Carlson was an ordinary boomer, who first raised children on sweets, and then, on the roof, put them on a braga.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87276
 21.09.2013
> He owed me his questions! I have to write: this is confidential information, go to shit!
> is confidential. Write well, in contrast to him ?
> I eat cake with one hand!))
> what, loaded the task at once half of the brain that is responsible for spelling?))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87275
 21.09.2013
Houses and walls help and corners nurture.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №87274
 21.09.2013
Moscow, Politizdat, 1990

My grown-up son was in a stupor for five minutes when he stumbled upon a book in my library entitled “Roy of Bears. They surrounded Stalin.”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87273
 21.09.2013
Rabinovich on his birthday with his friend Shlemenson:
Do you wish that, Dodik, so that you will not be jealous later?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №87272
 21.09.2013
Huber, as usual, is a jod. and :)

XX: You can’t just take and tie with tanks
You can, when your girlfriend says, “I or the dancers – choose!”
CC: Ah, as I understand you, I have the same problem with paintball.
AA: Paintball tells you, “I or the dancers, choose?”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №87271
 21.09.2013
Mad: I’ll probably, when I die, get out of the grave at 6:30 p.m., take a shower and go to work.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87270
 21.09.2013
Habr, from the discussion of the news "Roskomnadzor included Facebook in the register of banned sites":

The crazy are only noticed if they are bully. So we wish Roskomnadzor more bullying and prompt hospitalization.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №87269
 21.09.2013
For some reason, the products of the USSR/RF are compared very selectively. With Japanese magnetophones, German cars, American oscillographs. Let’s compare with German missiles, Japanese planes, American televisions.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87268
 21.09.2013
Usually in the family, the one who knows how to earn and the one who knows how to spend are completely different people.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №87267
 21.09.2013
I will add to your pleasant chat:

to all:

To this this:
The question! Does this dish at least theoretically ever end? and :)
and...
In Vietnam, a dish was served, the name of which in free translation sounds like a hot pot. A small burner is placed on the table, a pot is placed on it. Something is constantly cooked in the pot.It is cooked, placed on plates. As soon as the pot is empty at least half next, the cook materializes and pouches another portion of products into the pot. The products are different all the time. Starting with seafood and ending with fine-cut pork and a bunch of vegetables. The dispute is not all very delicious, but we all four struggled with this dish for three hours. I did not win ?
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
In China, such a dish is called HOGO... just the cook looks at what the people have not yet eaten, here is what he puts.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
All because greedy Russian tourists do not hesitate to read the rules of the label - in order for the dish to end, you need to leave a little food on the plate, showing the owner that you have eaten :)

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
As a child, I was taught not to leave anything on the plate. It was from the post-war hunger years. So don’t confuse greed and the difference in establishments.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna