You capitalists are shit! You are riding on the opels, splashes. You drink our blood.
You are somewhat small. Nothing to drink.
XHH: And we were specifically to eat you had nothing.

Thro the night in the courtyard of the house was the alarm with a periodicity of once every half an hour, in the morning looked out the window and saw a standing car with an epic inscription on the rear glass "tamada and music always".

For the third time in a day, blood comes from the nose. What to do?
Nails are cut.

And a group of Chinese who occupied several tables. Next to him were a husband and wife. The husband picked up a little bit of everything that interested him, and carefully, with the appearance of a pioneer-examiner, tried it. And the most, in his opinion, edible and safe, offered to his wife.

The wife was frightened and nervously cleansed the cooked hard egg. And their comrades friendly picked up the packages with the bowl, poured it with boiling water from the boiler and began to absorb. We also put a package of soy sauce around. At the same time, most sat in headphones and watched the iPhones. So why would you go to Vienna in such a hotel and still pay for food?
— — — —
You will behave similarly even in a very expensive Chinese hotel for breakfast, unless a European option is provided. Eat, in the best case, a cake.
Why go to Vienna and pay? Because there is money.

The Smart:

Twenty years, you have to change the passport. I decided to use a public service website. To access most services, you need to go through a document authentication procedure. And here is the most interesting thing - the passport is invalid, since since the date of birth has been a long time, which I was informed by the system during the check. Called the support, offered to replace the passport to contact the FMS or MFC, and then later... That is, to change the passport through the site, you need to change the passport.
– – – – –

The passport must be valid at the time of registration, not overdue. I had to worry earlier.
And it is better to change the passport sooner, or now for late with the exchange quite often a fine is taken.

Do you have potassium iodide?
It is only cyanide.
What is the difference?
Not too much, just 2 rubles.

from the Pacific Forum.
Walked with my girlfriend. Approaching the pedestrian crossing, they stopped and waited for the green signal and in a fraction of a second she rushed to the road, and all in order to save the puppy. The dog is now three of us. I decided to take it.)

Now you are three, and you could still be one! Don’t give God of course.
Why didn’t you do it, but the girl?
Valentine: Well not the bomja saved... or he would have had to explain why you don’t want to take it for yourself!

To the stories of Koreans and Chinese who ate salmon -

Per they are unusual to European cuisine, and they are afraid to eat such things, do not know what there is :) Suddenly allergies or diarrhea, it will be uncomfortable! Chinese people don’t eat milk at all (I may be mistaken).

The joke:
A Chinese man came to our dining room. I don’t know Russian, but I want to. I decided, I will stand in line, and what is ordered before me, I will repeat the word. A student stands up in front of him.
Student: "Tea"
The Chinese are "they".
Give him tea. He is drinking, but he wants to. He stood up again in line. There is a student again.
The Tea.
and this.
He sits and drinks bored. It was the third time, good luck. In front of him a healthy person in the teal, you will definitely not drink tea! Go to the box.
Macarons on the fleet!
Chinese: Macatsons of Poflozky._.
The cashier: What?! to
This is Chinese :-(

here here :

We had a cafeteria next to the pedinstitut, we went there for breaks and somehow found a butter, the inscription "sandwich with salmon" on the price list, after two excursions of the group members of the filfak to the work of gastronomic search, the price was changed to "sandwich with the gifts of the sea".

What sweet, have you never seen a cake with a pavilion or a cake with coconut?

Microsoft bought Minecraft for $2.5 billion:
xxx: In the baklawn, it only costs 20 euros.

I go to meet. Children’s radio in the car. Transmission of "talents of children". The call:
and greeting. My name is Vitalik. I am 12 years old
What do you want us to do, Vitaly?
The song. It’s in German and I don’t understand the words.
(I would have been in the position of the leader!)
Come on Vitaly.
Can I turn on my music?
The Leader Oden. Not stressed again.
Come on Vitaly!

Du Hast Mishshshshch

and Fairy.

Often, tourists from the People's Republic of China behave excessively noisy and try to save on every little thing - so, in one of the five-star Maldives hotels even had to turn off the hot water in the rooms, as guests from the People's Republic of China preferred to cook the cabbage brought with them instead of eating in a restaurant.

This is a wild gastronomic dictatorship. Why can’t they eat snacks in a five-star hotel?If they want it? In their place I would be very offended, you pay that money, and you turn off the hot water in the room and are forcibly driven to the restaurant.

Will you love me forever?
What else! I will love you until I die. Then there will be seen...

Dr. Morf: “The world’s first iPhone 6 buyer dropped it after buying it”
We started to forget the guy with the dollars.

Announcement on the forum in the topic "buy/sell":
I exchange two wave-shaped poppies with a cage for a large Kitekat pack of food.

Mother goes into retirement, gathers documents. Having on dependence me as a student, may have an increase. At the first appointment, she was informed that it was necessary to obtain a certificate from the university of my actual education in it and a certificate from the University of Applied Sciences that she has dependent on me. In the second event it became clear that the certificate from the university required the date of enrollment and the order number. At the third encounter, it became clear that she needed another right that I, in turn, was on dependence. I also looked at her with huge eyes and gave another one that she has me on dependence, and said that others they do not give in principle. And indeed, it came - it needs two identical (!) The certificates. When she came for the fourth time, with a full package of documents, it turned out that the workers were on vacation, and she was given a voucher with a date for receipt of the voucher with a number and time in line when they could take it on the day indicated on the first voucher. C is legislation.

From the dialogues listened today of two, stand-alone looks, blacks.

Because things have to be called by names.
and what?
“I’m here, I’m not a deputy, so I call my things by names.
The Serpent! You are not a "vicemer", and "not a hypocrite". This is once. And you’re Dolbo@b. It’s two.
Why is?
- "your things by names"(predisposes), bl@dd!!! Tell me, "Vicemer", what is your jacket name, bl@d?

If you want to produce furor, then the wedding is not suitable - they do not justify such expectations. I got married at work. brought a cake. Everyone ate, greeted and gave gifts. Judging by her appearance, she expected more excitement from us. At the same time, we began to stress not to be late. I had been on time for a week, and then I had an emergency: on the way to work, some dough struck me, pulled into the bushes. She ran back, broke into work in torn and dirty clothes, all in blood, bleeding and angry. The police said "What is it? I am late?!", called the menta, they came in 10 minutes in several cars, put everyone on their ears, took me and left. Doug was caught 15 minutes after my call. I was murdered for 2 days with identifications, full-time rates and medical examinations. Six months of investigation and trials (there were many episodes on the day, I was the last). The next day after the emergency, half of the employees with fear did not go to work - they did not know that he was caught, and I was not. Then everyone came to see me. Local media broadcasted about this throughout the district, showing the arrested dog on local TV. I am still reminded of this story: "Are you going there?"Yes, that is where I am going. Everyone forgot about the wedding, and the newly worn wife looked at me as if I had deprived her of her legitimate fame. No one cares about your weddings.

pocketkarma: As it turned out, in Wikipedia there is a section "Fictitious warlords", it is arranged on the principle of an anecdote about kindergarten with floors "good children", "ordinary children", "bad children", "terrible children", "Vovochka".

It has the following subdivisions: "Fictitious Military Doctors", "Fictitious Special Forces", "Fictitious Generals", "Fictitious Landers", "Fictitious Majors", "Fictitious Colons", "Fictitious Soldiers" and "Stirlitz".

A friend made a cake at work, I don't remember where it came from, like from some village. Instead of the words "here" and "here" he spoke "here" and "here". At first, it caught everyone, but then they decided to enlighten him, and someone corrected: "We need to speak not there, but there!" The guy was surprised, made round eyes and asked: "And here?After this incident, the guy recovered, and the entire office except for the "here" and "here" directions could no longer be called.

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