bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102659
 08.09.2014
Video on youtube "The disassembly of the 152mm projectile", a local Donetsk resident is spraying the projectile (metal charge) with a saw.
I liked the comment - Don't lie, the Russians live in the Donbass :)

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102658
 08.09.2014
In the local newspaper, the advertisement of the recruitment agency, and there in the list among the waiters, carpenters and other carpenters are required plaster cartridges. Who are these gips carton makers? And what do I need to do with the gips to cartonize it?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102657
 08.09.2014
You shoot so well.
I am surprised, I don’t see Nifis!
FFF: Nothing is surprising. Harry Potter in his glasses was a hunter.
The argument! ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102656
 08.09.2014
The fact that the donkey is stuck does not mean that he has his own opinion.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №102655
 08.09.2014
I was once asked by my neighbors to bring their daughter computer science. She studied in the first course of matfak, the first semester. When asked what books she had, what was recommended to read, it turned out that she had nothing. On the recommendation to go to the library and take the recommended - I was offended. As she said, “She’s a decent girl, she doesn’t go to the library. Except for the nightclubs.) I lost the gift of speech. Then he told his neighbors that medicine was powerless. “Beauty” was removed after the first session. )))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102654
 08.09.2014
Kids need to dress for the winter, but I calculated – it is cheaper to send them to Thailand for 3 months.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102653
 08.09.2014
Both the melody and the words "Vas volen vir trinken" (three basic couplets) were written by the Celts more than 1,000 years ago. At that time, neither the first nor the second were even in the project. So is. It is the same as saying that the swastika was also drawn by the fascists first :D, well, or the Christians "The Old Testament" wrote :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102652
 08.09.2014
Tonight I saw a terrible thing: one aunt on one of the cooking channels was cooking spaghetti in wine. She wiped out a whole bottle of excellent red wine to cook the roasted pasta!!!! How to fall asleep after this?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №102651
 08.09.2014
Question: What can cause tears in you?
Answer: Good music and incorrect code.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102650
 08.09.2014
to this:
I am in Ahua.
And this anthem plays to the crowd on the wolf... on the wolf fucking!! to

What the contactor boldly calls the hymn of the luftaff is actually a very old Irish song, hence the wool. Do not believe everything that the contactor writes to you, there are six titles and five authors.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102649
 08.09.2014
In the bowl:
Signature to the photo (the guy is sitting in the train car): "I am in the fruit cart"

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102648
 08.09.2014
xxx: and I want to rent that apartment to friends, even without any contracts, let them live.
YYY: Well, do you remember Vanku with 352?
xxx: yes
Yyy: So he and a girl after the universe a year filmed a single stitched from some familiar acquaintance. And in the second year decided to do a repair, I helped him more. And Vanka he does not know how to do badly, so in the end he fully charged, there from A to I, and linoleum, and wallpapers, ceilings, glass packs, Finnish sanitary, furniture updated, invested money and soul. He invited Hohyain, showed the work, he was delighted. And what do you think?
xxx: what 7
Yyy: They didn't live for two weeks, as the same owner calls and says, say you have two days to go, my buyers will come. I wanted to warm up on Vankin's work, otherwise I't think about selling it.
YYY: And such a woman calmly says to him: I understood everything, in two days we will leave.
XXX: And what?? to
YYY: And calls me and another half of the guys from the group. We get together and in 2 hours all the furniture in the van, the sanitary is twisted, even the toilet! The linoleum is removed, the wallpapers are broken, and where not to break are painted with a marker, the glass packs are also pulled out. Shortly as the owner stated he was waiting for an apartment in its original form, a bunch of shit in the middle of the hallway and a sign "you don't even know my real name." So Annie, be careful without contracts, so that this doesn’t happen :).

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102647
 08.09.2014
Remember the joke with a robot screaming?
Who hasn’t seen him...
The Japanese have built a robot that runs.
The naked?
To run and scream.
Why Why?
Do not ask!! Or they will invent another...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №102646
 07.09.2014
It smelled delicious from the window, and the whole room smelled stupid. In a couple of minutes I can't stand, I climb, shake my head, smell. I can't see the source of the smell, but another head shakes on the side. It turns and smells.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
The mountains, are you?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102645
 07.09.2014
Harvest_of_Sorrow
Recently I read about cigarettes with biodegradable filters, which incorporate seeds of the plant. Given the amount of mutants that are in tobacco smoke, hell, I do not envy this plant!

I would like to discuss the environmental issue:

1) Biodegradable condoms with gums. Unforgettable feelings and care for the environment!

2) Biodegradable bags / fantics with bamboo seeds. By the way, a two-meter straw of garbage will be a good reminder that it would be time to take everything to the wash.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102644
 07.09.2014
System Administrator in the Office

Jedi admines are looking for a capable fallovan!
If you are attracted:
Complicated Sysadmin tasks
IQ concentration per square meter
A worthy “white” sp and full soc. package
Large and bright office in the city centre
Cakes and fruits!
If you are:
Submitted with distinction regulation on assembly/disassembly of computer
You know what the IP package looks like.
You love the command line more than the windows
Celebrate the Birthdays of Stallman and Torvalds
You constantly learn and learn new things.
You can solve user problems.
You can come to work without being late.
Dream of working in a professional team.
Not yet an eagle, but no longer a bird.
Leave it all and go to the summary!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102643
 07.09.2014
My friend just read Dracula.
The dialogue:
HH: But there is one but.
When Dracula was murdered, the woman bitten by him became a human being.
Who Bite Dracula?
Tagged: Batman

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №102642
 07.09.2014
D:...the soldiers went, it-bates - where far they went, it-bates - the soldiers went, it-bates soldiers left!
XHH: to tell the original version of the style they refused.

Attack the soldiers!
All the soldiers are bats.
Who dared again.
The heroes, the heroes?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102641
 07.09.2014
[12:47:30] Sew: fu
[12:47:41] Stage: Sam Fu
[12:47:49] Stas: I own the fo!
Sewa: My fu is better than your fu!
[12:48:32] Stas: Let us not measure ourselves with foams

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102640
 07.09.2014
If you count how many times the word “safety” is used in the c# textbook, it becomes clear why Gates is sponsoring the creation of an ultra-clean and ultra-thin condom.
Humor is just a man.

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