bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №53343
 14.09.2011
XHH: I’m proving to my colleague that she’s not fat. But, in my opinion, the phrase "lapali-know" was superfluous...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №53342
 14.09.2011
Talk about moving a few thousand kilometers:
D: No, I’ll give it away, I’ll leave the most necessary.
I will give away the debts, I will gather the bables, I will crush the fool to one, and I will go on the way.
M: What a comprehensive plan of action and in just two proposals!
D: and Nenoahuli?
M: Just recently discussed the project of development of the country until 2020, prepared by the 21 expert group: 700 pages with too many wishes and no mechanisms to solve problems.
They will be taught from you.)

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53341
 14.09.2011
xxx: for "hochla" you can and *uj in the rilo shuffle!!!! to
YYY: How do we call you? The Ukrainian Americans?

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53340
 14.09.2011
Hello to Alexei! This is the daughter of your brother’s husband, Victor.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №53339
 14.09.2011
She tells me, let’s stay friends, and I don’t, I’ll love you and fuck you, I don’t fuck Vasa and Vanya.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №53338
 14.09.2011
A new accountant called.
Do you have a Eurocity bank card?? to
I am yes!
Do you get your salary there?? to
I am AHA
Is she really coming?
I am sure
She is STRAAAAAANNO... Very strange... It shouldn’t.
and the phone o_o

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №53337
 14.09.2011
On Sunday, I came with a girl after a wedding of friends, in the morning she goes to work, and I lay to piss my face, naturally in a state of hard body and lack of sleep.
In the same state I wake up for the second time, I feel the girl lying next to me without a blanket, I cover, I drop, I cover, I drop, I think it may be hot, I embrace and I hear that something is chewing my nose, I open my eyes - before leaving the girl let her dog, a fifty-pound vacuum, which was conveniently placed with a butt on my face, waving her tail. There has been a lot in life, but to wake up and immediately find yourself in the ass is the first time.

Nats

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №53336
 14.09.2011
The day of the programmer is when programmers congratulate programmers for being programmers.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №53335
 14.09.2011
You don’t communicate with some people not because you don’t know them, but because you know them too well.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №53334
 14.09.2011
At one time, many of our students went on vacation to the United States; some watched the world, others just earned, but all received good practice in English and in different life situations.
Here is Lenochka - the daughter of good friends of mine, somehow herself, found everything on the Internet and convinced her parents to let her out of the ocean. She contacted a company that offered to go to Boston to do the airport cleaning in the cabins of aircraft arriving from flights.
Arriving at the site, Lena was immediately unpleasantly shaken by the message that she could not be allowed to work immediately - work at the international airport, directly in planes, requires identity checks by special services. I had to wait almost three weeks.
I met a peer from Scotland, who also came to earn, on the same student program. Together they rented an apartment, together they were looking for an opportunity to work, to eat and pay for the apartment.
Finally, the inspection is over. All new employees underwent detailed instruction. The cleaning of the cabin of the aircraft is carried out by the cleaning brigade in a strictly defined order. All things forgotten by passengers, the brigadier places in bags, which are attached to labels with data on the date, flight and the place where the thing was found. Someone removes the blankets from the seats, someone dusts, then wipes out the plastic parts of the seats and the cabin, removes fresh spots. On the first day of work, Lena discovered that on the floor of the cabins there were sometimes a variety of coins lost by passengers. Coins can be used to study geography.
Asked the brigadier; he advised to collect the collection.
One day, on the floor, under Lena’s chair, she found a small roll of dollars torn and crossed by a simple office rubber. I took off the rubber and looked. Twenty dollars of paper. For her, who lost twenty days waiting for work, it is money. Lena thought — and suddenly, those two hundred backs was lost by the same hungry student. At the same time, will the money get to the owner if she tells me about the finding?
Still, she turned the bills back into the roll and called the brigadier.
The next day, she was called to the cleaning service office. Thank you for the work and separately for returning the money found. And, quite unexpectedly, gave a player, and so cool that those two hundred bucks would not be enough to buy. When I returned to my apartment after work, I found a crying girlfriend. As it turned out, this girl, working in another brigade, also found exactly such a roll of dollars, but remained silent and left them to herself. When she left her job, the guard recalled her. I asked if there was anything unusual happening at work. The girl moved. Then directly in her forehead she was declared that she was fired and she was placed on a blacklist of citizens who were permanently denied entry into the United States.
And our Lenocke, in addition, allowed to work in a souvenir store, in the building of the airport station.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №53333
 14.09.2011
My daughter just came in to me and said:
I want you to send me out of the house immediately. Give me my
room for students. Throw all my clothes out the window. Sell my interpretation.
TV, music center, iPhone and laptop.
Please bring all my jewelry to the Salvation Army Fund or donate it to the Red Cross.
Then leave me at all and never talk to me again. Remove me from my will and write my share over to my brothers.

Noah, she didn’t really say that. She formulated it all much shorter:
Dad, get to know my boyfriend. His name is Mohammed.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №53332
 14.09.2011
Today for the first time "live" saw the iPad, touching the truth did not start. The owner tells me what he can do.
I think the bourgeoisie are angry with the fat, the fucking miracle of enemy technology, I remember where this phrase comes from and I say loudly - and if you open it it will prove that it is a diamond turtle.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №53331
 14.09.2011
iwmthia: interview for the position of assistant sys.admin. Their first question was – "Why do you do this? You are so young..."

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53330
 14.09.2011
In Ukraine, we can now be jailed for 15 days for the phrase “Thank you Donbass residents for Karabass Barabas” – as if they were cool – and the insult to the President and everything here.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №53329
 14.09.2011
How long will you be studying?
Wait until spring.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh. What then?
Vengeance Plateau
A in Russian?
Vengeance Vengeance - to make movements of the tool "metal" in order to clean the surface
Plateau for the training of soldiers

[ + 54 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53328
 14.09.2011
Without a united Russia, Russia will be united.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №53327
 14.09.2011
From questions to Mithgol's.

I adhere to the right views and experience sexual attraction to men. I don’t tell anyone and I’ll struggle. What to do?

Turn off the Caps Lock mode.
2) Continuing silence and shame.

[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53326
 14.09.2011
From the news:
The 30-year-old lady, going to bed, did not dare to lock the entrance door. Using free access, an attacker entered the apartment located on the fourth floor of a residential building.
Trying not to disturb the sleep of the careless hostess, the thief stole from her home a cell phone and a system unit from a computer.
The first comment:
Casanova: The lady dreamed that they would take her, not the phone.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №53325
 14.09.2011
Forum "Photos" attractions near Minsk
aaa> Interested, actually, to be near Minsk (the closer, the better). All ruins and so on are welcomed. I will go with my wife to take a photo. thank you.
bbb> I crashed at the landscape, only 15km - coordinates to give?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №53324
 14.09.2011
Nihilum: Interesting, if I write to a girl "you’re my personal sort of peeling", will she be offended?)

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