bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137571
 06.01.2017
This is:

Explain Heisenberg’s principle of uncertainty in the simplest possible language.
I take any two particles, measure their backs, and ALWAYS the result of the measurements will be opposite? If not, how do you understand this principle?

Q. What kind of stuff in your head? The uncertainty principle has nothing to do with spins, it speaks about the coordinates and pulses of a particle.
The back is Paulie’s principle. He says there cannot be two fermions!(not any particles, but only with a half-whole spin (1/2, 3/2...)) in the same state. Thus e. If you take two electrons in one (!) And the same "floor", and with the same energy, then yes, they will necessarily have opposite backs.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137570
 06.01.2017
KWN (Pyatigorsk)
Robin Hood, I will fulfill your wishes.
Robin Hood: I don’t want to be poor.
Robin Hood, all the poor are dead!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137569
 06.01.2017
Viking is not a new blockbuster.

This is an ordinary, lazy crawl on Wiki...

Surfing, Viking, that’s all

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137568
 06.01.2017
KennyGin: Bad analogy is like a cat with a door

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137567
 06.01.2017
And recently he bought a license for publishing and dreams of publishing something mine. I just quietly squeezed myself under the table: maybe I dream of all this?In general, I gave him the last manuscript not yet interwoven, − the first extrasensitive took with me. And two days later the businessman angrily called that in vain he contacted me because there was nothing to eat in the house. His wife and father-in-law fight for each leaf, and he is advised to look into the refrigerator himself. And if I don’t immediately bring something to eat to his office, he doesn’t know me.I remember, I brought him a chicken foot with a cake, a salty cucumbers, and six months later, with a five-thousand edition, the novel saw the light.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137566
 06.01.2017
classical
If you have a problem and you decide to use regular expressions to solve it...
YYY: You already have two problems.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137565
 06.01.2017
In 15 years of friendship, I can’t get used to words such as "Pactal", "Shash", "Loll" in the messages of a teacher of Russian language and speech culture, a candidate of philological sciences.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137564
 06.01.2017
Interview with Powerwolf.
And what do you think of all these stamps and archetypes of style – swords, dragons, magic, magic, and other nonsense, from which you just get upset?

"Honestly, what these bands sing about... I respect their work, but I personally don't believe in dragons, wizards and such nonsense, so it would be idiotic for me to write texts about witches..."

... said a group that sings about the twinkle and vampires.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137563
 06.01.2017
HHH: I went to the car today, even went off.
What about the car? Went to?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137562
 06.01.2017
I slept somehow during the day. When I opened my eyes, I realized that I was talking on the phone with my mother, and I was telling her about a kind of bracelet that was sold along with bread. And then it turned out that before I came back to myself, I spoke for 6 minutes. My mom thought at first I was going to do something.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №137561
 06.01.2017
I had a friend, a good guy. He himself was a villager and came somehow to us in town to arrange for work.
I went to one of the offices and did not get it. The second, the third, they don’t want to take it anywhere. This is the last place where he can try his luck.
There is an interview. The standard questions. And by the end of the interview, the director decides that they don’t need this guy. He said "I’m sorry! We don’t need you!" And this guy, all upset, stands up from the chair, simultaneously picking up a cell phone and with the words "Well, it’s all! Baby!", he starts calling his mother to say, “Sorry mom!” They don’t want to take anywhere. I go back to the village." This director apparently thought that "the child" was addressed to him (maybe the experience was bitter, I don’t know) and stopped him with the words: "Well, stop! Wait to! All are cool. With connections...Can you start tomorrow?"
That’s how this guy got into a bad company.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137560
 06.01.2017
See also "Viking" There was a consistent opinion that the topic of hallucinogenic fungi and their effects on human consciousness was studied by the authors most deeply. And I do not rule out that it did not go without personal experience.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137559
 06.01.2017
The film was called "King Karol" - emphasis should be made on the last letter "I" - this is the hero's surname.The essence of the film was that in some country the king died, and in a deaf Romanian village the ordinary peasant turned out to be his relative.Of course, the happy flow of the peasant to the royal restrooms tried to prevent agents of capitalist intelligence.The capitalist agent rides at a huge speed along the road, and on the side is a peasant with chickens and ducks.
The car passes by, scares life, and the peasant woman walks after the agent with her fist.In the end of the film, this same car, with even greater speed, goes back, but there is a bomb, which the agent does not know.The evil imperialist whispers a song, again flies past the peasant woman, and she furiously screams after him: "To break you!"But here the clock device works, and the car explodes.The peasant woman is baptized in fear and pronounces, "Lord, I joke!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137558
 06.01.2017
xxx: if it is a virus, then cough occurs at the recovery stage to remove the virus bodies from the lymph.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №137557
 06.01.2017
During pregnancy, she began to talk in her dreams. I learned this from my husband.
“And he recognized them to the touch,” I suddenly told him the first time, about the hour of the night.
to whom? Asked the defunct husband.
- Deputies, - and, saying this, with a sense of fulfillment of duty, grabbed, not knowing that in five hours I will wake up and be very surprised.
The second time I delighted him with the pearl "Where in the moon the clock is inserted? Shit it!”
- I don't want to be a pelican, take the geranium! - I cried in the middle of the night for the third time and I woke up from it myself. Until that day, I suspected that I was being followed...I believed.
“Gray, grey, grey, give me a colored mirror!” she demanded at the fourth, being already a month on the third.
What hell did you paint the cockroaches with my red lacquer? I think my nails are running away from me. He said hysterically nine days later.
Where are you doing swindle? I put my husband into an impasse a little later. He asked me for a week what this swandy pulp is and what it needs to be fed. Then his friend asked me the same thing, and why this swandupule suddenly needed my husband so much.
Don’t melt your socks in the sea, Greenpeace will spray you! I warned him at the beginning of the fourth month, asleep on the couch. I could never convince her that it was not a deliberate, disgusting insult under the pretext of sleep.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137556
 05.01.2017
All Malaysian makdacs have a halal certificate. After 7 p.m., you can buy a double bacon cheeseburger. and bacon? And the pork? I explained, “How did the pork appear here,” and they said, “When the darkness comes, Allah does not see anything.” We do what we want. " It is genius!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137555
 05.01.2017
We drive with my wife on the bridge across the Moscow river to Marjino, I tell her - look, a wild minus on the street, and the river does not freeze. And she flegmatically notices - soon without freezing in the winter, you will be able to draw hives directly from the Moscow river.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137554
 05.01.2017
Wonderful story, the only disadvantage - the hole of the Zippo did not work safety pillows and other hole?

If you don’t stick it, the pillows won’t work. Their speed of departure is hundreds of kilometers per hour, without a belt they kill and always on safe cars in the absence of a belt are turned off.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №137553
 05.01.2017
And remember the main thing – propaganda for soldiers. And the team should study the history of defeats rather than victories. Not to repeat.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137552
 05.01.2017
xxx: And the truth is they say that these electric cars are needed by Musk just as a wheel of technology for the Mars rover?
Yyy: They say Musk is a Martian and is just looking for a way to get home.

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