Life experience is just a beautiful name for countless misconceptions.

Untouchable Avengers
I travel with my family to Volgograd.
There are a lot of cars, but we still move at the speed of an unlearned pedestrian.
On the left of me is an unpleasant company on the cruiser. It happens, seemingly ordinary funny guys, but it feels like they have some fun, not good - at the expense of others.
From the passenger window for half a meter prompted a loud and funny looking forward, like a dog going to the country. He was talking on the phone and was therefore forced to scream to scream the street... From the open window of the rear door, the feet in black shoes were just turning and airing in the wind. There were five people in the car and all the boys.
I hear, and then I see in my rear mirror, that the motorcycle is approaching. A small table with wheels slightly larger than the office chairs. On the roller tightly pressed to each other, a guy and a girl are sitting, both without helmets, but a girl in short jeans shorts. They cling between me and the "cruiser" and suddenly the girl with one sharp movement removes the shoe with the foot and the moped, accelerating, moves forward, labyrinth between the cars. Meanwhile, the flow stops to zero.
The jeep is signaling in impotent anger, trying to roll out for the meeting, but there is also a iron stream. The "boys" loudly cries out, from the back door pops out a barrel in a white socks, but quickly realizes that walking for a trampoline with a leaving shoe, you can no longer catch up...
All this was unexpected and looked wild, I turned my head and met with the driver of the neighboring "gigol", he smiled widely, showing me to drop the glass.
The Driver:
No good girl, you have to. Five minutes ago, I followed this.
I was in a jeep, and the motorcycle passed by, so they were all elevated.
From the window to the belt to touch the girl’s ass. They did not reach,
They wore something, and then poured them from their feet to their heads with some white shit.
From McDonald’s... The boy had to stop to wipe out.
The eyes.
And then you saw the continuation...

All our traffic joke was glad that the "taburet" is no longer to catch up, because there is only a flying citroen in Phantom...

Beloved, is it true that I have been given to you by God?
I don’t know what sins I have...

If the government continues to restrict oil prices, it will soon be more profitable to drink gasoline and drive vodka.

At work, the woman said:
I bought a toothpaste. I cleaned for three days and only on the fourth I learned that it was a hand cream.
O.O

lord.rojer: If the girl is in bed like a barrel, then the driver is not installed correctly.

You can’t take arguments, fuck up to the orthography!

In the district department of the militia, one employee seized a white powder from the detainee, on top of the allegedly seized heroin, raised the night of experts. They conducted an examination and sent the powder to the employee with a sign: "for jelly, starch and sugar." Add it yourself!"

Wife at home. She gave birth to a daughter, calls, says they want to ask me something. The doctor takes the telephone and asks:
Were there any cigans in your family?
and what? Did you sleep anymore?
No, it’s just dumb...

I lay on the couch reading a book. The wife plays with the son (8 months), asks - Where is the ball? The child draws to the ball. Where is Cat? The child looks at the shelf, there we have a healthy plush cat. Where is Dad? The child looks at the chair in front of the compound =(

Kirill: Tomorrow pipes to all Chilevacs!
Kirill: Pindos is some kind of prefix Armageddon
Kirill: at 6 in the morning!
I’ll wake up anyway!
Indigopike: I also slept last time.

A forum on sexual maturity.
My first time, at 12 years old, I was a fool. No, theoretically, my friends and I were very literate, but for some reason I missed one important point, namely that the girl becomes a girl. At the beginning of the menstrual I declared in front of my mom’s clear eyes and sung joyfully: “I became a WOMAN today!” Mom fell faint, papik with the scream "I'll kill the bastard!"" fell on the phone to call an army of friends. After 10 minutes, the army’s half-staf was sitting at our house and I was in the center, the ninth in count, my father’s childhood friend, my baptist. With a break in his voice he said, say, child, I speak to you as a doctor (he is a pathologist at all) and so on. Well, I told him what exactly happened. The Baptist kissed me in a bucket and called me a favorite fool, and he explained himself to the staff. As a gift from my parents, I received a ring and a chain, and a bracelet from the baptist. It was my first and most precious, as a memory, gold as a gift.

22 to 11: Crisis in personal life – even when drunk no one wants to call!

I look at a restaurant next to me. Show my husband the price:

I: Salad from Chef Chef - 760 rubles
Has he broken his own eggs?

In the words of an instructor of driving:
There was a girl on courses (the hair color I did not specify), 2 days of driving in the city. The shift. at the crossroads of the DPS. There are gauges. Training machines very rarely stop, but here the stars came together, and the haishnik pointed with a rod to the side. The girl has no blood in her teeth, her legs tremble, her palms sweat, there is still a test. She is an extruder: what to do? He said: Stop it. And here included the female logic and the backwardness of experience. Where will stop? Right where the hood is. The girl turns on and runs on the hoist, the one to the side, the girl to him, the one to run! The intruder stopped the torture by pressing the brake. It is white like a wall, the girl has a stupor. Instructor Haishnik: Why did you stop us? Yes, I thought you were a taxi, go fucking away from here.

She decided to take the dog, gave the newspaper an announcement saying she was looking for a cage for a cage. There were several calls, but we stopped at one woman, Elena. After all the discussions of the clarifications, agreed the caller closer to the date x. In order not to be confused she wrote it in the book as "Elena Kobel"...and only later thought that I was most likely written by analogy)

The boss got out of work, and I thought I would die when his companion came and bought me out of the boss for another job for a box of candy. I sit and think whether I am a cool legionaire or a serf.

It was an epic fail. A check came to the office (they called for example forbidden microwave heaters and tea boilers) Hardly hiding everything. And only a remarkable tablet, printed and glued to the wall by myself, was left to hang in February. I quote" The microwave and the cupboard should not be included at the same time!" The curtain...

In order to smile, you need to use 40 muscles, and in order to press the cuckold, you need only 4 muscles.
YYY - To crack - alone. And everyone around is involved forty)))

So, according to the preacher, Christ was crucified on April 1, 33 AD, and May 21, 2011 will be exactly 722,5 thousand days from that date. The interval between the two dates is a doubling of the sacred numbers 5,10 and 17. “I tell you, when I saw this pattern, it exploded my brain!” said Camping.

Ept, yeah, she exploded my brain before I read this frosty shit!