Alexander Artyukhovsky
The MDA.
You come so fashionable to work at Maya Sabaton
@ by
Immediately you hear behind the back - "You have a hardy maid with Saratov, where did you get it?"

Galina Masyukova
One day in a rock store, a very middle-aged man asked the seller for a "Mike". Until they found out that Korn, from the poor seven sweats came.)
You say Saratov.

This is :

Dallaylaen
It reminded me of the joke about the circus eight-legged and the wolf.

by mishgun131
For people who talk about an anecdote about (something) and do not refer to an anecdote or do not quote it, a special, especially hot boiler is prepared in hell.

Hold on:

In the circus comes to be arranged eighth who plays on musical instruments. He played piano, violin, violin and so on. The circus director asks:
Can you in the wool?
“I don’t know what this is for a wolf,” said the eighth.
But surely I can.
They bring him a whale. Eighty-year-old in gentle astonishment looks at the wool for a long time, then raises a dim look at the director of the circus and says:
Could I take it first?

Tagged 17048
Time of service of lighthouse
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It’s just epic egoism of some sort! We provided you with the perfect childhood of your dreams, and on this basis, even for an adult girl was obliged to live as a child more comfortable. He is accustomed to believing in his family. Catch your husband and build your ideal family with him at your discretion, and it would be time to get rid of your parents.

Today he dances jazz, and tomorrow he sells his homeland.
YYY: Are you dancing bees today and not learning anything tomorrow?
Zzz: Today you dance hard, and tomorrow you reject the Motherland?
Yesterday you jumped, today you jump, enemy!
BBB: Today you dance the Lambada, and tomorrow you throw out the Lampada.
CCC: Dance, dance and we are lost.

YYU: All of these quotes, in the style of “TV turned on, epic lulz, TV turned off,” are too crowded. It seems to me that everything is happening differently – I switched on the brain, heard nonsense, laughed, turned off the brain. And the TV is constantly on... So much more plausible.

The second time we are going to give birth in the same district ("NII of motherhood and childhood" in the neighboring area)
He had not been able to shave his hair before. Dialogue in the Chamber:
Yes - the eyelid climbs in the eyes, prevents - you need to cut off to go - the hairdresser works on the first floor?? to
X - Yes, I saw the sign.
I went yesterday - closed - the guard said in the decree left (((
Z is infected.

Yes, all dances are metaphors of physical closeness. All the longer objects are phallistic symbols, who did not know! Before society has ruined - cucumbers and strawberries not cut straight in the shops are sold to everyone in sight! Docked it!

Spring in the people.

xxx: yesterday I painted the maximum picture about the sound that I hear in the telephone phone in the background)) said if I will paint the sounds again, he will write me a doctor))

Previously, the gentlemen with the maidens fled, and now - with the washers... Ah... ))))
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This is what! Our acquaintance in the nineties left the house after family quarrels with the television he bought. But, since it was really nowhere to go (all the family in another city, the acquaintances did not grow), he took this TV under his arms and began to wander around the house in circles. When it darkened, the fellow resident was filled with sympathy (although, maybe, she was afraid, but at night he will be attacked and the TV will be abducted) and called him back - like, reconciled))))

About the new fashion today "beekeeping".

In fact, a puppy like a man will shake his hips and ass. Turning arms, dancing, engaging in athletics, etc., all of this is equally useful. Without it, by the age of 40, your legs will not bend, you will walk like a robot. And on the subject of what it looks like, look at the training in ballet and art gymnastics, there is such a thing done with 12-year-olds that the author of kamasutra would have died from envy if he lived to our days.

our school laboratory and history of how preparation for exams < photo of modern chemistry cabinet> How do you?
In our school there was only the Mendeleev table of reagents.

If this world has one Creator, then let Him be responsible for all this mess!

cake

At the end of the last century, a musician Dima lived in the Shore Chelns.
Dima played at weddings and funerals, earned well, married and dreamed of children, better than two.
Live and rejoice, but here, in his unwavering life, without a declaration of war, a black strip invaded, I would even say - a black hole.
At first from Dima, the wife went to some Tatar, and later she, together with this Tatar, expelled Dima from the house.
Chess and Mat.
There is nowhere to live.
And our hero, reflecting, reasoned: it is better not to live anywhere in Moscow than in the Nabergej Chelny.
Here he gathered all his things (which were not useful to the Tatar) - a guitar and a backpack with music discs, bought a plateau ticket and went to conquer the capital.
Almost for all the money Dima hired an apartment in the new building - completely empty, without furniture and even without floor, and from morning to evening ran around the city in search of ways to conquer Moscow.

The conquest began with the tragic loss of a favorite guitar, as a result of a demonstrative mortuary on the Old Arbat. New street guitarists there are not very liked, their deva is nowhere.
Dimina's face was heavily swollen and ceased to look like the photo in the passport, and this, of course, was not for free, confirmed by every expert encountered in the Mintov form.

The money almost ended, and going to interviews with Finns is just to make people laugh.
A week later, you will have to pay for the apartment.
And here even the birthday did not add joy at all - it is not just a birthday, but a serious date - 40 years.
Dima woke up in the middle of the night from the hard, cold floor, pumped the inflatable mattress, again lay down, thought and decided: fuck them with the last money. I have a anniversary today. What am I, not a man? I will buy a big, delicious cake, make a cupcake and arrange a real celebration. And nothing that without guests, I will get more.
The evening came.
Smoke with a knife sat on the floor in front of a large chocolate cake and carefully targeted where it would be sprayed, and in the shower of something became so unbearable longing that at least in the window:

What kind of anniversary? What a cake? So many grandmothers took him. And tomorrow what? forty years
Uncle, the roar is broken like a bomb from a heatway, and behaves like a little boy!

Dima looked at the box under the cake and realized that this was his chance. The cake was delayed for one day.
You need to pack it carefully, the good cheque is not thrown out, and quickly deliver back to the store. The remaining money, plus the return for the cake, should be enough for a ticket to Chelnov, there are still some people, not what is here, the desert...
Saying – done, Dima packed the cake, went down the elevator and went out of the entrance. Suddenly he sees a little Toyota slowly but confidently rolling through the courtyard with an open driver’s door, and behind it a woman seeds and laughingly shouts:
and oh! Oh yeah! and ah! and ah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
She opened the garage and apparently didn’t put the car on the towel.
The Toyota has already gotten well and targeted right next to the expensive black Mercedes.
Dima stood very close to Mercedes, but, with all the desire, his hands did not stop the car and he had nothing else but to push between the cars his much-suffering, chocolate cake.
A light "squeeze" spread, the cake splashed for an entire square meter, but on the cars no scratches, only frozen chocolate splashes.
The escaped hostess of Toyota for a long time thanked her ingenious savior with a beaten rod, and tried in every way to compensate him for the damage suffered, but Dima nobly refused:

“Well, stop, don’t need money, I won’t take money, superheroes don’t take money.
“Thank you Superhero, but you went somewhere with the cake, you now have to buy a new one.
“Yes, don’t worry, I don’t need it anymore – it’s my birthday today, and there will still be no guests, I’m in Moscow for less than a month and I don’t know anyone yet.
Oh I congratulate you.
"Thank you, and now quickly wash the door of the Mercedes until the owner noticed the chocolate salute, and all good luck on the roads.

Dima returned to the apartment and, cursing himself for the meaningless loss heroism, began to count all the remaining money with pennies including.
Suddenly I knocked on the door (no call)
On the threshold was Anna, the hostess of Toyota. In one hand she held a large plate of homemade plushes, and in the other a bottle of cognac:

Dear newborn superhero, am I not late? Let’s celebrate and joke.


On this Dimina's black strip exhausted and changed to white.
Anja arranged Dima as a sound director for our television company, married him and gave him two children, as he dreamed.

When there is a black strip in my life, I always remember this story and look closely at the sides, so as not to pierce my salvation cake.

The problem with Russia is not that it can’t feed the poor, but that the rich can’t eat themselves.

<VeloKot> friend bought an action camera
<VeloKot> and transformed life
<VeloKot> in 1 year lost weight by 20kg jumped with a swing took up climbing riding on the big every day now
<VeloKot> and the shuttle on the delta plane wants to fly
<VeloKot> and it all started with the fact that we trolled him said he bought a camera and she just has you.

The vertebrate originated from the vertebrate and after that no vertebrate evolved to the vertebrate although billions of years have passed. Asked why?
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The question is – why? Who told you that ALL invertebrates are lower on the evolutionary ladder than vertebrates? Who put this heresy in your head? Why did you decide that bees and ants are better developed? Is it because you personally weigh more or because you can pollute nature faster than any other species? They are not worse than yours, just differently. This is another branch, not worse, not better, but simply another, neighboring one. How else to explain? If your neighbors don’t have a carpet on the wall, that doesn’t mean they’re idiots. You may be an idiot.
Insects, for example, evolved no less time than humans, and, from a biological point of view, developed very well. This is the age of insects, not mammals. It was the dinosaur era, for example. Insects develop very quickly, live in any environment, and the total biomass is much more than all vertebrates combined.
This is not to mention the "billions" of years of evolution, and the fact that the living nature in principle does not have the habit to accurately repeat what has already been done once, the maximum - the same function repeats in another material. Well, teach biology at the end of the day, at least take a school textbook.

When they say that scientists know everything, they exemplify the image of God, such as the only true statement and not subject to discussion, religion also does so.
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What is it?! Any scientific theory must be falsified. There must be an opportunity to refute it, otherwise it is not a scientific theory at all. This is the difference with religion.
Google "Popper’s Criteria", "Russell’s Tea Tree".

Fuck, I’m stuck and untouched at the same time...Where is my Schrödinger?? to

Do not stop on the hard! It is necessary to ban all pairs of dances (teachers of Latin American dances - immediately put in place), classical ballet (there are also men in kalhotka!!!It is better not to let girls under 18 on stage. There are also all kinds of sports where the athlete can unintentionally get up in a knee-armpit position, kick off the filament or spread the legs to the public: artistic and sports gymnastics, sports dances, synchronous swimming, figure skating, volleyball, football (and suddenly!All types of wrestling, yoga, light and heavy athletics, big tennis, billiards, etc. It is also necessary to remove from all resources the records of relevant junior competitions and Olympic Games (remember how old our champions?) Finally, you need to expel from actresses and sports all women who resemble teenagers in their body and/or face, regardless of age, rank and presence of children.

Could we become Saudi Arabia?

A bit of history of dancing:

According to moral norms, the valse was criticized even more: too fast circular movements, too close position. For religious leaders, valse seemed to be the embodiment of sin and vulgarity. Court circles in Europe at first resisted this dance, and in England it was adopted much later because of strict moral principles. In the summer of 1816, the waltz was included in the program of the ball that was organized in the capital of England by the prince-regent.On July 16, 1816, The Times angrily criticized the waltz, calling on women to be modest and restrained, as well as warning parents about the detrimental impact this dance could have on their daughters. There was a lot of disapproval on the part of the older generation, who did not understand the preferences of young people.(c) the