“I will dare to report, Mr. Senior Doctor,” I heard a quiet voice from the bed near the window, “I’ve recovered. I noticed last night that I had a shortness of breath.
Their name?
The coward. I dare report, I was prescribed a clitoris.
“Well, you will still be put on the road,” ordered Dr. Grunstein, “so that you won’t complain afterwards that we haven’t treated you here. Well, and now the patients I have listed, go to the doctor and get what you trust.
Everyone received a solid portion prescribed to him. Some have tried to influence the executor of the doctoral order with requests or threats: say, they themselves will enroll in the sanitary, and maybe someday the current sanitary will fall into their hands. As for Switch, he acted heroically.
“Don’t spare me,” he encouraged the bastard who put a clitoris on him. Remember the oath. Even if your father or brother is lying here, put him a cleaning - and none. Remember, Austria holds on these clichés. We will win!
The next day, during the tour, Dr. Grunstein learned from Schweick how he liked being in the hospital. Schweik replied that this institution is well-organized and very respectable. As a reward he received the same as yesterday, and in addition to aspirin and three powders of quinine, all this was poured into the water, and then ordered to drink immediately.
Socrates himself did not drink his cup of poison as calmly as Schweick drank chinin, on which Dr. Grunstein tried all sorts of torture.

However, like every adequate modern person, I am also a misanthropist and an alcoholic.

In short, I have a younger brother. He gave him a bunch of cars — expensive such, beautiful. So, he disassembles them, lowers them and gathers them again.
Yyy: Such a small, but already clear boy.

At one time, I just started working in the surgical department of one of the hospitals of the Leningrad region and was surprised that some patients were tied to beds.

This question was asked by one of the nurses.

She told me a very interesting story.



The patient came with an exacerbation of the "protein", plus then as it turned out he was still diagnosed with schizophrenia. His symptoms were removed under the dropper and he calmed himself, he says thank you. And in the morning, a new doctor came in, he enters the chamber, and there is hell curse. The patient is sitting, and in front of him the bed is burning, everyone jumped out of the chamber, and the doctor is really a healthy man and not a coward. He asks, “Semen Semenovich, why did the bed burn? "He turns his head and smiles and answers, 'But here you are a fool, I slept with my wife. The doctor turns on the back and he is in the corridor, the nurses are locked in the procedure, and he is there to them there is a iron door and a grille. But in the office room, where the doctors usually sat wooden and brown, this piroman broke the door, found the keys from the floor of the department and a bottle of vodka, used and gained strength went to the dining room and grabbed a knife to cut bread, as the machete looks, and also made a tough from a bench. At this time called a cellular mint doctor, by the way, they come to the hospital quickly. The door to the department was still open and they entered, thinking that it was a kind of alchemy and their authority, they will understand him. But seeing this miracle with the machete and also he broke the glass made a second sword)) ran into the procedure to the survivors. The doctor said to them, “Are you lying?“The answer is that for 20k a month they don’t want to die. And this hardcore fan closed the department and started running down the floors, but all the floors were closed, they were warned in time. It runs from 1st to 5th floor. From the reception room, the OMON was already called, who pushed him up with shields, he apparently understood that there was nowhere to go, jumped out of the window to the transition between the bodies, it was probably three meters and tried to escape, only there was nowhere to go back, the OMONovs caught him there and cut him off. Then I understood why people are bound, the doctor and the nurses were free, and every time this beautiful man acted (and it was a couple more times) I bound him like ropes in the sea, firmly and reliably, and I went to check, every hour...

Yarik: Who tested it?
xxx: I am
Yarik: Who are you?
XXX I and WOW
Yarik is OK. Which one of you will beat when you ask for a portion?
Alexey: Artemisa
Alexey: Forget Artem
Tagged: brother
We urgently need Artem in the team.

X: Yes, Rene can be trusted. Rina is a smart girl, and her hands have where to grow.
XX: Yeah, by the way, her legs also have to grow from where...

I’ve long read Picaba, and I’ve been quite skeptical about posts about all kinds of inadequate or under-educated people (well, I didn’t believe there were “such” people). Until I found myself yesterday...

Taking a child from the kindergarten while they were gathering, the teacher (B), a woman of 30 years, approached, then the dialogue:

(B): You know, your Dima was very bad today!

I: What has happened? The child sometimes smokes, but rarely.

(B): He was almost hysterical with my kids and me today!!! to

(I): And what, in fact, did you argue with him, up to hysterics?

The moon is rotating around the earth and not the other way around!!! Copernicus has proven that our earth revolves around the sun and other celestial bodies.

Here I have to insert some meme showing my shrink what reaction...

The lady slightly misunderstood what is the heliocentric model of the solar system, had to explain in a couple of minutes on her fingers. I explained this to my child a long time ago.

On the way home, he went to the store with his son, bought him a small Lego in reward for not retreating and proving his last (Jordano Bruno small:))

At home, he imagined how the Earth revolved around the moon, smiled... Then he imagined how Jupiter revolved around Io, smiled even louder)

Russell and Whitehead introduced a system of designations, definitions and axioms, extremely rigorous and carefully formulated. The desire of scientists for simplicity and comprehensibility of explanations has led to the writing of one of the most difficult and unreadable texts in the history of mathematics.

A post script is a place in a letter that is the main, but pretends to be secondary.

I walked with several comrades many couples on one subject. Prepod wrote to us by mail, say, you, guys, were missing a lot, so before the next seminar, please read the materials on such a site. Go to the link, and there is the military site.

People are not divided into nationalities, parties, factions and religions. People are divided into intelligent and foolish, but fools are divided into nationalities, parties, factions and religions.

The backpacker.
Sorry people, I’m the fool who clamps on the escalator. The fact is that I rarely ride the subway, 1-2 times a month, when you need to go to another office. On the way, I listen to audio books, often think hard and go on the autopilot. Therefore, in the crowd tightly supporting from behind, when entering the escalator, I involuntarily become immediately behind the man going in front of me, to the next step. When I realize this, there is nowhere to step back. I am ashamed, so forgive me and don’t be angry, I’m not of evil.

Are you old at the same time?
Instead of lovers.
Joke about treatments and medicines
Like my grandmother in the clinic.

>> only the last nail in the cover of the grave is knocked!
In aviation, for example, only say extreme time, extreme flight, etc.

In Brazil there is a tribe of piranhas, in whose language there are no numbers and there are only three words to indicate the number of objects: "a little", "more" and "a lot more". All flyers are born.

New banknotes of 200 and 2000 rubles:
No, I don’t need 200. It is 199,99. without surrender

What did the Siemens A35 hurt you? The normal ringtone still works like the clock.
Not only as an alarm clock, but also as an alarm clock.

I fear that the problem with all this milk, nutrition, and other issues of children’s upbringing is that such adults are guided by the holy truth “the adult is better at knowing.” Compared to a child, you may be more experienced, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be wrong :) and with all these explanations you actually cover up your powerlessness. If you can't handle a child otherwise than violence - it's not the child's fault in this :) and children are not idiots and quite quickly understand all this. If, of course, you did not kill the self-esteem at all and did not develop the Stockholm syndrome, but this is a very serious case.

When you live alone, there is a huge plus: you can walk naked. and always. Such a coward. But there is a minus: you forget that you are naked and you open the door. Pizza supplier, probably until now.

XXX: Witness, what did you do that day?
Zzz: I decided to boil and sell vodka.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ZZZ: by Nothing Just a vodka. I found it and decided to sell.
XX: Do you understand that you have confessed to the crime in court? What is it called theft?
zzz: No, it’s called "collimate".
XX: Do you know what you are doing?
Zzzz: Sorry I am worried. Today I am at such an event for the first time.
XX: If you continue in the same spirit, it will definitely not be the last time.

told me today. In the face of the storyteller.

Walk the street in front of me daddy with a daughter of four years old, the daughter is such a girl-girl in a coat and a beret, from under the beret chopsticks. Dad says something to her very impressively and strictly, says, says... The child looks at Dad and quietly listens attentively. Finally, Dad went to the code. He even stopped, turned to the daughter and asked loudly:
Well? Did you draw conclusions?
Dad, what are the conclusions? Seriously looking at him, the girl asked.