So the mind gained that the neck can no longer withstand the head.

by Yuri Tatarkin

<<Russian and Chinese are brothers for centuries. >>

(Communist propaganda of Mao's time)



He was witnessed at the end of June. A friend at a wedding.



It happened in New York, and the New York summer is still a natural phenomenon!

High humidity due to the ocean makes the hot air not just

Dry and suffocating. At the usual 35-40 degrees a simple walk

It becomes torture. Within five minutes, the clothes are wet.

Before the thunderstorm, like in a steam. There are such days every summer.

Enough enough. The wedding day was no exception.



Another important detail: my friend’s bride is a Chinese woman.



I, the groom’s parents and two other witnesses came to the house of the future maid.

to take the bride, the maid and the testator, and all the witnesses of the bride,

The whole crowd went to the park to take a picture. Sitting in the car with

the air conditioners, wait for the hour X. Finally, the signal has arrived -

We are advancing. In front of the house of the parents of the bride we are met by a crowd.

Chinese witnesses and offer the bridegroom to undergo standard tests

before he can see his chosen wife.



Test 1: While one of us is squeezing, the others should drink.

Apple juice from baby bottles. For our people, as

As a rule, with the army hardening-training, pressing is just pleasant.

Memories of youth. But it is very damaged by a temperature below 40.

Incredible spirits, sliced shirts, butterflies and smokings. The Married

heroically challenged to squeeze while we drink the juice, so that the bride could see,

What a wonderful man God sent her.



Have you ever tried drinking from a baby’s bottle through a nipple? One one

In childhood, what about conscious age? Juice hardly

It drops, our cheeks are red from dullness, the bridegroom runs out. to

To help the bridegroom, the osky had to bite over and pull in the ugly

warm apple liquid, saving the bridegroom from further torture.



The second test is to put 3 airballs on each. Murders and so on.

Red, there is nothing to lose.



The third test is the apogee of history: nothing, the bridegroom must sing.

A song about love, when the bride forgets everything and rushes into his heart.

and embrace. In our case, the bride would run out only for the sake of

The bridegroom was silent and no longer represented a complete absence of vocal data.

But about that later.



So the task is set and clear. But with execution, it is a stumbling. well no

I don’t know a single song about love. For five minutes he talked.

witnesses of the bride, until they agreed: the song can be any;

Not necessarily in English, but in Russian; for moral support

All witnesses of the bridegroom must sing.



After a brief meeting, we found out that we all know one.

The only song. There is no way back, you cannot escape from the submarine.

In three bits we cried:



“Rise up, the country is huge.

Stand up for a deadly fight.

With the dark fascist force,

“The damned horde.”



Time has stopped. The birds hang in the air. The Chinese were with

Incredibly wide open eyes. Mexicans cutting grass on

On the other side of the street, they forgot everything in the world and looked fascinated.

and us. The silence was broken by the father of the bridegroom, running out on the street with a cry: "What?

What happened"



Gradually everything returned to its own circles. There is nothing left of the bride.

except to let us all enter and not be ashamed anymore.

The Chinese came back and narrowed their eyes to the usual size. The Mexicans

Back to the grasshoppers. The wedding itself was even more fun, but it was already

Another story.



The groom is from Chelyabinsk. Chelyabinsk men are so harsh.

They can get married to Chinese women, get stuck in the heat of forty degrees.

"Rise the country is huge!" for them a song about love.

In Vladivostok opened the exhibition center. All premises

Equipped with comfortable plays.

Halloween, the feast of impurity in America. In Russia, there is a celebration when all the dead go to the streets. It is 1 January.

Putin and Medvedev shake their arms:
"No you will say. No you say..."

Sart: Well, how did the corporation go?
Prizrak: Yes, as usual... the headbuck once again justified the title of his position...

Have you watched Star Wars?
Yes, the episodes

Bachelor's Rules

Quote should be missed:
- If it starts with the words "Interesting, I am one..."/"Interesting, I am one". No, not of interest. No, you are like millions of others.
- If it starts with the words "Mom today burned out"/"Prepod today burned out". Don’t prepare us for funny things, it’s not a Zadornov concert.
- If instead of it we are coupled with an "unbelievable" case from student/office life. There is a parchment for all of this.
- If it contains the words "kot", "odmin", "shredder", "huyace" or a variation of the emoji "o_O". Fight the readers.
If there is a mother in it. Even if she grew up a dumb ham (in the true biblical sense of the word), it is somehow a pity that he will so calmly shame her.
- If she ends with the words "I should have seen her face". If "should have seen", did you get a quote without a photo?
- If it ends with the words "The whole office". We will somehow mock what you were lying there, your dumb quote in front of us and we can appreciate it ourselves.
- If after the description of any stupidity follows the conclusion "This people is invincible". They win not with stupidity, but with intelligence.
- If after the description of any stupidity follows the conclusion "Only in Russia can". Do not give yourself exclusive to stupidity.

Please please! Let this quote hit the top and it will have a rating in 2009!! All with New Year!

There are rumors that if a person has a pathological passion for cleanliness (for example, every 5 minutes a cup with chlorine is washed), then he has done something very dirty in his life. So here. I think in my room I am a saint.

We had a late Ramstein.

... the end:
The office shook a terrible scream:
“Huyas, the cat is gone in the shredder!”! to

... the beginning:
There is a cat in the building. Almost completely white, healthy, lazy. Odmin loves him and feeds him. The shredder broke, carried to Odmin to repair. The shredder is very large, 40 liters. Half of paper. In the meantime while the odmin was forged, the basket was pushed out halfway and the cat went there. and slept. Well, white on white, they didn't notice it, closed it, took the device to the place. Because of the weight of 30 kg, no one noticed an increase of 5 kg. But when the shredder earned, the kitten woke up and said MEU (very loud). Defoe noticed him and...

IV (00:03:46 31/12/2008)
What do you need to be happy?

Netherlands (00:04:11 31/12/2008)
I want a family, a loving wife, ready to feed my children.

Netherlands (00:04:18 31/12/2008)
Blessed

Pevs (00:04:23 31/12/2008)
Give me children.

Shakherezada said: “Health cannot be bought with money, but it can be bought with money.”

can be lost.

The New Year Christmas.

Estonia is predominantly Lutheran, so Christmas is here

They are celebrated in Western, and Russian speakers also Orthodox. before

Christmas children - both Estonian and Russian-speaking - put on the window

special boots for gifts, and local Christmas boots

An old man (an analogue of Santa Claus), who is accompanied by gnomics, gives

Gnomes are tasked with bringing gifts to children while they are asleep.

The story took place in the early 90s. Children up to 10 years of age believed in

The gnomes. It is now in 4 years to check who brings the gifts. by V

That time with sweets was tight, and with money too, and one mommy.

Because of the lack of tastes, she gave her little son a bowl.

The gnome.

The family woke up in the morning, and the child went to check the shoe.

He walks into the bedroom and cries, “Mom, go see, there’s a dwarf.”

The breath...

The man slapped the girl. He leads home, something fills joy. They go

through the yard to the parade. She is (thinking):

You can walk in a wheelchair and the air is clean.

Loneliness is when half an hour before the New Year, sitting in an empty apartment, you read.

Even now that my three children have become teenagers, we continue to go to the Calgary Zoo every summer. One of our favourite places in the zoo is the Night House.
There are night animals. Here we are again there. When the door closed behind us, we were in total darkness. Suddenly, I felt somebody’s little pipe grabbed my hand. Not wanting to scare the child, I leaned to him and asked, “Who are you?”

Nothing burns a man as much as the word "Top" written on his flashbox.

Kitekat: I will dream of you again at night.
Kitekat: and I will sing!!! to
[23:02] Ganjubas_Jah: How can you sing with your mouth busy?
[23:02] Kitekat: and who said that he will be busy with me!!! to
Genghis Khan: This is my dream.