Sometimes it is easier to win a war than to drive the other contenders to the laurels of the winner after it.

How I trolled fraudsters. I am a little educated person by nature. I know how to write correctly. I know that the earth is round, that the apple did not fall to Ptolemy, but to Newton. I also went to school once. And we had such an important subject as chemistry. A lot of interesting things were told about her. And my wife went even further – finished Mendeleevka. And not just Mendeleevka, but the magistrate. We don’t go out with our four towers for two, we have our diplomas in the closet, we smoke. But one day we needed them. The city has long been crawled by the scammers, cursed by all the divorced people, who were presented as workers of the water canal and came like "to check the quality of the water". In fact, they only wanted to take away money from poor retirees and unhealthy people for their super-puppy-pipet-spit filter, which, judging by the price, should not only filter the water, but at the wish of the head of the family to make him a mine. I will briefly describe for those who do not know how their algorithm works. The body comes to you in the apartment, appears to be the worker of the water canal, although in sight it only drank yesterday at the entrance, boiled vodka and slid seeds. In the arsenal of 2 devices - one of which is an electrolyser, and the second measures the salt balance of water. Water is taken from under the crane, from the filter bowl, from the toilet - not the point. The solomer drops into the water, shows some result depending on the calibration and begins the tribute: Yes, you have water worse than wastewater! You will die tomorrow from a kidney wreck! Your child will not last a year. Confirming their theory, they get an electrolyser, on it several metal sticks. They soak these sticks in water, and chren in honey, and turn the hell machine into the network. There is electrolysis, the sticks on the device interact with the elements dissolved in water of the periodic table of Mendeleev, which in the water is interfered sufficiently, and precipitation falls. After this, retirees usually lose consciousness, mommies lose milk, hamsters and sea pigs just breathe. David Blaine pronounces a depressing phrase, “You see what you are drinking?” after which he climbs into the shelter and gets a scale of water that has run out of the miraculous filter that stands at his home. Young children understand that he drops both devices into his bowl, and no precipitation falls out, and the other device does not squeeze, and the water shines on the sun, and falls from this water on the rainbow table (a glass, a frog, especially in the case of the sun puts to break the light). Pidor climbs into his portfolio and gets the Talmud with a description of the work of the miracle filter, before the time tells about its merits, and finally achieves the sacrifice, which is exactly today and for him the discount. Nearly 200 rubles. (at the cost of a devis from 40 thousand and to infinity). The victim rushes either to the hook or to the bank to take a loan, it makes no sense to tell further, there are a bunch of forums where the victims cry and say they have been deceived. This is the preamble. Then the curtain opens. On a clear spring sunny day, I was called, named by my father's name (here are the suckles), and said with a sweet voice that tomorrow the workers of the water channel will come to me to check the quality of the water, because they care about my health. I almost put my pants on. Happiness was enormous, I had 24 hours in stock and I had time to prepare. With pleasure saying that I will be looking forward to them, I went to prepare for the show. The food store was almost empty. I bought a small iodized salt there. Then went to the car store and bought 10 liters of distilled water, plus a small litre bottle (who is not aware, in such water electrolysis does not work, and it is she acts in their role as filtered water). In the store I bought a hose for the mixer, and I already had a small compressor and a large sealed container. The next morning I turned off the hot water in the kitchen from the water supply, wrapped a hose to the mixer instead, through which distilled water was supplied under pressure (a compressor + a sealed vessel, into which I put the hose). 3 liters will run out. I carefully opened a small bottle of distillate and sent it very coolly, not forgetting to close it carefully, such as a new, virgin bottle. Everything was ready for the guests. I was waiting. A clear spring day delighted everyone: the fucking cats, the frogs on the branch, the children launching ships in the streams, and me, the udva waiting for the victim, who herself felt as if drowned as she approached my apartment. The call ringed. I opened the door with a smile, there was a 25-30-year-old man in a leather jacket and a wallet in his hands. Come in the fucking! I thought I would catch you. I smiled and invited him to the kitchen. The show began. The first act I would call the preparation of the lubrication of the victim. A guy 10 minutes tortured me, whether I was monitoring my health, how much money a month I was willing to spend on health, sucked in my ears and behaved very confidently. I pretended to be a stupid twin and answered his questions so he thought I had gone. He got two instruments. From the thought that I had guessed with the preparations, and after a while he would be standing in the shit by the ears, and I would crack from above and laugh loudly, I smiled. He noticed and asked that I was smiling. I told him I hadn’t seen such clever devices and wondered how they worked. The man finally relaxed. I said that lately the water from underneath my crane is good, the cat drinks only it, and the cat’s urine has even stopped smelling. He asked for water from the crane. I put a glass of distilled water from the container under the washer. He dropped the drawer into the water... and hanged without expression of emotions, like a frigid macaca. The testimony clearly did not coincide with what he expected to see. The program failed. A smile appeared on my face. I asked what the testimony meant. He decided that I was quite an idiot, and said that the device showed the amount of bad substances in the water, although a few minutes before, describing the device, he said something very different. I asked to show me a device, it had a scale for visibility. The distillery showed excellent results. The guy was nervous. He then tried to conduct electrolysis of distilled water, but found neither precipitation nor change in the color of the water. The program broke in the seams. The man really began to shrink. He lost control and split up. He asked you what, the distilled water in the crane is going? I was ready for that question. Act 2, domination and humiliation. I asked him why he thinks so. He said that such water is only after their filtration, or distilled. I honestly said that I don’t have a filter, but there’s a bottle of distilled water that I pour into the oatmeal, and I asked if it could be measured with a magic tool? His last mistake was to accept my proposal. I brought from the room a bottle of coolly polluted distilled water. He dropped his device into it, he stumbled, cut off, and no longer turned on. For such a amount of salt these devices are not designed, it turned out to be equivalent to if a medical thermometer with a limit of 42 degrees would be dropped into a boil. The man was upset. It was the time of the culmination I said that I had a tap on my stand that cleans the water from all harmful impurities. I took him to the toilet and showed him. He did not believe. I got the 4 diploma from the closet and said that my wife and I invented it ourselves. He proposed to pick up water again from under the crane, and put the remaining working device into it. He for some reason refused, said he had to go, gathered and left. To the papers with his miraculous error and a scale of distillate, he did not even get into his portfolio. In summary, I will say that I got a huge pleasure. A fraudster’s eyes are very expensive when he realizes that he has been divorced. So if you come to someone like that, you know what to do!
Winters

- You understand, I am for healthy eating: whole grain foods, vegetables, low carbohydrate.
Would you be a cognac?
and yes.

1 of April.
The Russian Post suddenly decided to bring a banal package from China to the house by courier, prior to calling and making sure that someone is home.
I spent the whole night thinking where I was fucking.
PS admit, who joked about me and how did I find myself in a parallel universe?

to this:
xxx: I often see Gypsies on the street and I have a modest question: has anyone seen a Gypsies at least once? Where are they hiding?

They are exactly hiding. The Federal Service of the Russian Federation for the Control of Drug Trafficking is investigating them.

Something about the sudden April reminded me:

The little man did not like to eat cabbage.
He was unable to drink Swiss beer because of his childhood and his residence in Siberia.
Mary Alexandrovna told him:
A tablespoon for father, a tablespoon for mother, a tablespoon for faith, a tablespoon for the king, a tablespoon for the fatherland.
And if Daddy and Mother's little boy still suffered,
He hated the faith, the king and the fatherland fiercely.

c) I do not remember who.

- I am a bit coughed in the bus... I am so crazy that I can't work... by the way, you are stuck on this topic, what to eat more budget, so as not to get sick?
and Yad. There is an antivirus option, but the jade is faster.

Correspondence of teachers during the verification of students' creativity:

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Now I am enjoying the work <NameSchool>

YYYY :
Such a cute boy!! to

The xxx:
by Oen

YYYY :
There is "L" missed or "C"? and :)

“We would have another thousand Abrams tanks and I think we would be in Moscow by the summer,” he said.

Bubbleguy: The case says! tanks to Syria. Buying a house in Moscow. Getting to work on NTV... XD

Do you have iOS or Android?
– Windows Phone
I am a sick bastard ?

...this fuzzy open space and international collective...you never know for sure...whether somebody has swallowed, or if another Chinese has opened his lunchbox...

I was in the mail today. The wife received a package and stood in a line of three people for half an hour. At this time, I walked around a kiosk, which sells everything in the post office. Books for example. On each - a price list with a large logo "POST OF RUSSIA". Books, mostly pocket books. The result is a full set:
Die with Me, Post of Russia.
The Black Line of the Russian Post.
Give me a hand, darkness is the post of Russia.
Sworn in the Dark: Russian Post.
And in the final - three children's books "Puzzle-Drawing" under the names: "Attention! Not for kids - Post of Russia", "Attention! Not for cowards - Post of Russia" and "Attention! Not for yellow roots - Post of Russia"!! to
They don’t lie about what is characteristic.

A short story about life in Russia. I want to walk and eat, but it’s cold outside the blanket.

Slashlv: I pay for the internet, and I am showing nothing there

Our star dreams of collecting all her teeth and necklace on the neck to make
WOW: I have tried too. If we get all five kids together, we will really succeed. But they lose them. Furthermore, milk teeth are not as necessary for the suit of a man-eater - without roots.
XXX: the more terrifying - comes out the suit of a people-eater specializing in children

Wintersnow (Marina): such a short, tangible word: Rwhe (tongue, a variety of Bantu, South Africa) — fall drunk and naked on the floor
Wintersnow (Marina): you see how
Wintersnow (Marina): Oka (Nigeria's dong language) is a difficult urination caused by a frog hugging before the rainy season begins.
Silver by God
Silver: It is immediately evident that it is important for people.
Wintersnow (Marina): and evil day
In Russian, there is no talk about naked and drunk.
Silver: I don’t know

To evaluate the sophistication of humor and the subtlety of irony on the behavior of loaders and freezers is not the most successful choice.
___________
Why not? The average person can joke stupidly and (or) brutally about someone of his acquaintances - and in punishment with him, the most offended woman will stop talking. And between loaders and freezers for such can be painfully beat - they have to tune out skill, so that the joke was fun, not offensive.

A bottle of rice is what! Our comrade drowned his phone in a compot, he was advised to put the device in a bag of sugar. And in the morning, his wife, without looking, poured this bag in a pot with compot...

I'm scared to go into branded stores.
xxx: first these horrifying sellers of the rating look
xxx: then the fear of slipping on their perfectly slippery floors
xxx: still scary with a smart look to start considering men's trousers, thinking that they are women's
xxx: well, and less you fit, and there is already an op-and-price top 5stocks.
XXX: I am a fool.
yyy: the behavior of 95% of girls in brand shops))

Heard on the street: two women met ~40
How is life?
- well
Are you divorced?
No is
Is Uli okay?! to