bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №80285
 16.04.2013
xxx: Once in Turkey, I heard the dance of small ducks in German.
xxx: I, of course, know that this is a children’s song, but I still hear somewhat about the armored colonies of the Wehrmacht.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80284
 16.04.2013
If you want to have good sex, don’t pull the rubber.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80283
 16.04.2013
It was four years ago.
Once there was a daylight and I decided to change the TV. Well, so as not to break off, I bought normal sizes for the entire width of the hand. Everything cool, put, included, watched - the norm. Distracted for dinner - the wife enters the room, and there the four-year-old daughter yellow fine right in the middle of the switched off telephone paints a large and beautiful sunshine :).
And what if they have a painting board of the same size and black in the nursery :)))

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80282
 16.04.2013
This is the end of the holidays who did not sleep - good luck!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80281
 16.04.2013
I don’t listen to this. Because I know his songs so well that I can listen to them just in my head.
Oh, you know, I can also imagine sex in my head. Fucking is better.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80280
 16.04.2013
Watch with his wife Skyfall (this is about James Bond, played by Daniel Craig).
Wife: "I still remember him by Sean Connery..."

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80279
 16.04.2013
ryba_pila: When I was 10 years old, my parents took me to Moscow. And the train that was driving in front of us took and went off the rails. We were stuck in some ass for almost two days.
So, there was one cassette in the train with a group of Harsh February. Do you know what this group is singing? And I know, I still know.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80278
 16.04.2013
Management of the Production Enterprise, configuration from 1C.
In the office was born a new term for the implementers of the UPP - "upipir".

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80277
 16.04.2013
Tagged with ‎
I struggle with the temptation to break my colleagues.
This greatly helps in the absence of breakout.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80276
 16.04.2013
> Someday a truck came into the yard.

The truck. The Car, the Fuck

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80275
 16.04.2013
The second sign of a bad provider is that you know the phone of tech support by the mouth and the paper with the phone of tech support on the desk you no longer need.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80274
 16.04.2013
After the report of the death of Margaret Thatcher in the British music charts quickly began to mature a scandal. The song “Din-Don! The Witch Dead" from the musical "The Wizard of Oz" of the 1940s began to rise rapidly. In just three days, the version of "Witch" performed by Ella Fitzgerald and Judy Garland reached the 10th place in the official charts. In London, there are fears that by the time of Margaret Thatcher's funeral on April 17th, the hatcher may be in the front rows.


[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №80273
 16.04.2013
About the Russian Post
xxx: my package was exported from China on March 14. There is no import yet. Question: What miracle fuel allows a plane to fly for a month?
yyy: The miracle fuel will make the aircraft fly for two or three months.
zzz: Given the frequently lost packages, some of the packages are used as fuel.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №80272
 16.04.2013
xxx: The main thing I’ve found out about accountants is that if they say they didn’t do anything, it’s probably true. When I go to them, they drink tea.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80271
 16.04.2013
Richter Raymond Wout of Michigan has imposed a $25 fine on himself for having a cell phone ring during a hearing on a case of domestic violence. At the end of the hearing, Judge Wout, known throughout his career as a lawyer for his irreconcilable treatment of cell phone owners who called in the courtroom, wrote himself a fine and immediately went to the box office to make payment.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80270
 16.04.2013
Guests of the "Siberian Jewelry Salon" in Krasnoyarsk will be offered jewelry for all occasions of life.
Natka: "Egorke was ten years old, Lidocke was seven. As usual, they played their games, my mother was engaged in the household, it was unusual only that a gun suddenly hit the boy's eyes. It was Papa’s award-winning name gun, which he left on his desk by some fateful coincidence. The idea of putting a sister at the wall and trying to get into it was born instantly.
In the next moment, Egor, targeting, pressed the pipe, and in a second he had already run away, not for a joke scared, throwing a gun, and most importantly, afraid to turn back and look at his sister. On the doorstep of the house, he encountered his mother, who was on her feet into the house, assuming the worst... They entered the room and... saw the eyes of a little girl who was standing and could not move from the place, numb from fear. A little further away from it, there was a trace of a bullet left on the wall, which by chance passed by... "
What would you advise in such a case?
52: What does this story have to do with the exhibition? Are you lost?
They offer jewelry for every occasion. This is a case from life. What kind of jewelry is there?
Or can jewelry still not be for ALL occasions?
ESOFKOS: Right for all cases of life?
What is the decoration in the puppet for a fifth-grade welder to work in three shifts?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80269
 16.04.2013
by xxx (16:45) :
How do you do?

yyy (16:45) :
and salutation. It is normal so. With you 7

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yes to yourself.

yyy (16:46) :
What is?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fighting with a guy.

yyy (16:47) :
I’m so happy with popcorn.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80268
 16.04.2013
At the stadium of Buenos Aires, somehow an experiment was put up, the purpose of which was to prove the superiority of football players-holes over the married. Everything went quietly until the penalty at the gates of the married. When the eleven-meter was realized, the wives jumped out on the field. They shook the judge and awarded the victory to their husbands. In order to avoid trouble, the singles did not protest. The experiment failed.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80267
 16.04.2013
I saw a beekeeping advertisement in the box. "I am going out. I am going out" Do they have permanent disconnections there?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №80266
 15.04.2013
He was heavy this morning.
I approach the door of the apartment, there are two aunts around it. I ask: "Do you want something?"
They give me a booklet that says "Life can make sense". They open, on the first page something about Jesus. I say: "Thank you, my life has a meaning".
One of them is "A-a, sorry".

What a fucking? O_0

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