bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80205
 14.04.2013
Questions by mail.

The question:
How to find a blind or blind girl? Or I complex my appearance.
The answer:
You can shake your liked eyes.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80204
 14.04.2013
Ghost: We went to the space museum yesterday. A lot of people are celebrating. We stand, study the exhibits, next to the children's guide pastures, tells about Belka and Strelka, shows on the dogs, explains that they are genuine. Someone from the school, loudly:
Do you also have Gagarine?

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80203
 14.04.2013
>Def: At the second programming pair, I became psychotic, ran out of the office, and then sat in the hallway, crying relentlessly, and repeated, "Why are we being forced to code in C#? I want to go to Java!"

This is not PMS. You are a hysterical psychopath. What fashion did you take, your bad, unbalanced character on the PMS to drop? And all my disgusting hysterics to justify... "Dear, I’m not a fuck, I just have PMS! Well get in the position, I’m a girl... Mi-mi..." Ladies, hold yourself in your hands! After all, even ten years ago, telling everyone what a tearful mood you had at the end of your cycle was simply uncomfortable! It is unpleasant for the interlocutor if it does.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80202
 14.04.2013
I accepted my husband’s total lack of imagination after one day finding a calculator under the tree. No, the calculator, of course, is a necessary thing in the house, but I expected a more refined gift. On February 23, I gave him a set of screws (in revenge). He was happy as a child. I did not understand anything.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №80201
 14.04.2013
One man is good, two is not enough.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80200
 14.04.2013
Customs gives good... what a contradictory phrase...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80199
 14.04.2013
Going down the street, we see on the building a section made of uneven pieces of tiles of at least three colors.
- ♫ I blinded you from what was...♫
-... ♫because the company paid little.♫

[ + 10 - ] Comment quote №80198
 14.04.2013
Just now, look with my wife "What, Where, When". Collective team Alyssa Mukhina. The leader asked a question to the only girl in the team: "Say, Gunnel, how did you become an expert?" Gunnel publishes: "Yes, Mr. Host, it started in school. The position of one girl on five is usual for me".
O_O

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №80197
 14.04.2013
If everyone laughs at you, then you are not a clown, you are a fool.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80196
 14.04.2013
One American pianist, on a tour of the Middle East, suddenly returned home. During a meeting with Gershwin, he explained that he had to interrupt his tours and leave because he was shot twice by the Arabs.
What do you say! Gershwin was surprised. I never thought Arabs knew music so well.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №80195
 14.04.2013
Valentina Matvienko in the media compared herself to Margaret Thatcher, "modestly" noting that they, in her opinion, have a lot in common.
Here is the spot, guess:
Or does she, like Thatcher, worship Britain?
That’s just like Thatcher hates Russia.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №80194
 14.04.2013
My mother and my little one (class 11) are going out of the car.
Mother: (glattering the steering wheel, gently talking to the car) My girl, wash you! You are now clean, beautiful! My dear, it’s easier for you to go straight.
Little: (blown up, offended) How kindly you talk to the car... And not so with me... Let your car go to the institute and go!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №80193
 14.04.2013
A really bad provider is if you not only know the number of technical support, but you always call there drunk before calling the former.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80192
 14.04.2013
There are 4 mistakes in the word!! to
How is this possible? There are only three letters.
0 to 0?????!!!! to
Simply put: Josh

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №80191
 14.04.2013
She: Cancer ( April 13 )
April 13, Saturday

You are perfect. Actually, it is today,
You have achieved perfection this day. You can
Pray and give flowers with whole trucks. Rejoice
Your heart belongs to one person.

He: there, by the way, there will be flowers, you can go unload.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №80190
 14.04.2013
of righteousness:

If you are just lying in the fold of the area covered with a slum and breathe over time
This does not mean that you are not breaking anything.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №80189
 14.04.2013
X: I have to finish it all.
YYY: What do you understand about this? My neighbor parked in the back of the house yesterday. He gave, gave and caiaque gave - a bumper in the chlam. He got out of the car, looked, began to re-park to the neighboring place in front of... Booms....

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80188
 14.04.2013
I decided to wash my animal. I bought a shampoo for cats. After a long time of hard work, my efforts were finally successful. I wiped out the basketball...I let go...I put it in the bathroom, I went out. I see this wet miracle lying on a dirty shovel before entering the apartment (because it’s slick on the street) with this kind of typho: I wiped your shower and your shampoo with the smell of peat herbs, I was so good!!! to

[ + 44 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80187
 14.04.2013
‏@fe_city_boy

Increasing North Korean Aggression
Japan's defense minister said Seilor-moon had been put into a state of war.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80186
 14.04.2013
I study German in a very and very international group: there are both Filipinos, and Arabs, and Peruvians, and French.And Chinese.They are famous guys, but only the dialogue between us is extremely difficult, because these fucks instead of answering just repeat the last word of your question and sneeze)))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna