bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №121273
 01.12.2015
I served in Germany before the withdrawal of troops from the warehouse. Since the case was in stagnant times, the exchange of currency was strict and allowed to exchange only 30 rubles. Upon leaving Russia, a declaration was issued, with which the Zaldaticus went to the bank and exchanged these rubles for marks. The declaration was stamped with the text in the barbaric language and the signature of the treasurer.



But there are methods... The stamp was reduced to some sort of composition from sets of chim. exploration, and the resulting yellow spot is chlorine. As a result, the declaration became virgin and the procedure was repeated in another bank. There was only one problem. Each declaration was used 10-15 times and by the end of the cycle it had a rather suspicious appearance.



Here I give such a paper to the buyer going to the city and ask to change the other money. The flag has long considered mint and a strange smell of pharmacy paper, but it agrees. It appears a little green in an hour and says it almost burned. When asked what specifically caused suspicion (the paper was, of course, of a fuzzy appearance, but even worse jumped), he that with the appearance of her just everything was normal, but when a decent German put a stamp on the declaration, he immediately disappeared...



While the elderly lady knocked her eyes after the third attempt to stamp the stubborn creature, he managed to grab the evidence and drop it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121272
 01.12.2015
The Visitor:

All the horror of the clinic is understood immediately at the entrance: at the height of the flu epidemic, not masks are distributed, but babies.

It is not all. Everything becomes understandable when you are not allowed to go to the procedure without these Bachiles, you go in the Bachiles, and then a cupcake with Bachiles comes in, but without Bachiles, as dirty as my thoughts at the age of 13. and the ground floor of diplomas, foxes, medical workers rush to her shirt to choose.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №121271
 01.12.2015
Fallout 4 teaches life.
WOW: What are you talking about?
XHH: You know that you can build relationships with companions.
WOW : Well.
HH: Well, now is the moment of a decisive dialogue with her. I am standing all such a brutal man in a blinded combat armor of dark glasses of a police officer. He saved hundreds of lives through fire and water. and I say such "Let’s meet" And she is such "Pff’ no we are just friends"
WOW: It’s an awkward feeling when you even get friends in the game?
HH: Yes, this is another half of the story. I am stubborn. Carrying the nearest seat. I put on a redginald costume such a leather coat in places sprinkled with a splinter wire, but +3 to charisma but +3 to charisma, the triangle of the general minitmen +1 charisma, glamorous glasses on a half-physionomy in a pink fence +1, coupled with substances for charisma. I polished it all with alcohol and poured it into it. I say "Let’s meet... and you" and she’s right away "O my dear I’m all yours!and "
I’m wearing my coat and my magic hat! :)
You know, you’re funny and I thought a lot.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121270
 01.12.2015
My favourite gave me PS4 and I didn't sleep all night.

Has the gift worked?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121269
 01.12.2015
The whole world is a theater, but tickets for a good show are hard to get.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №121268
 01.12.2015
A.A Roses of freedom, tolerance and mercy.

I will tell now. It all started at school. One family asked a teacher to ban in the classroom where their child was studying, handbags depicting a pig from a popular cartoon. They were Muslims, and they had a special taboo about pigs. The teacher said that such things are within the competence of the parents. Then the father of the child raised the question of the pig at the parental meeting, but did not do it tactically enough. As a result, he was threatened by the police, and all students became aware of the incident. A few days later, the other children came to the classroom in t-shirts with a large pattern of the same pig, and also glued stickers with the same pig on everything they could. A Muslim child was hysterical and the Muslim community appealed to the court for torture and discrimination. The court questioned teachers and students, but found no objective actions that could qualify as such. Of course, the court caused inconvenience to children and their parents, which caused, according to the press, a “pork boom”. The peak, as you know, were huge rubber pigs inflated with helium — many residents raised them over their houses, cafes and shops on the eve of Halloween.

“Why did the clashes occur, which required the police to intervene,” Seker added, “was it reasonable to bring about this?

Is it reasonable on whose side? I asked Grindel.

I mean, maybe it would have been better to spare the feelings of this boy and give in on such little things as children's handbags? Did the light come down on this pig?

There was a pause. Grindel thought for a quarter of a minute, and then said:

The car is childish, and the problem is adult. Light always comes together on some little thing: pictures, T-shirts, balls. These little things make up our freedom. We teach children to be free in these little things. I read in one old book that freedom is the ability to openly do what someone doesn’t like. I think very right thought.

Are you not afraid that in this way we will devote our children to mercy?

I am not afraid. They are not forced to have mercy, so I answered Dr. Ahmad. Mercy is the desire to care for and protect, not to obey and tolerate.

“To clarify your position, I will ask another question: when you talked about the swine boom, you mentioned that the father of the child did not tactically explain his claims. What does that mean, and how could he do it tactically?

He said about this: Islam teaches that the pig is an unclean animal, this should be taken into account, you have no right to insult my faith. He began to dictate to free people what they are entitled to and what they are not. If he had said: the son is very suffering because of this pig, and if this picture is not important for you, then you can not ask your children to write pencil with another picture - the reaction would probably be different.

of mercy? Asked the reporter.

“It seemed like,” Grindel shrugged his shoulders, “in the beginning no one thought of terrorizing the boy with these pigs. Moral terror began only in response to attempted coercion. When a sweet lady, a vegetarian, comes to visit us, we don’t put meat on the table. This is not from respect for the vegetarian teaching, but simply not to offend a person for nonsense.

“That’s,” said Seker, “if the vegetarians demanded to stop eating meat in public places...

“Then I would demonstratively eat sausages in the Central Park,” Grindel concluded.

What if they did not ask, but asked?

Then I’t pay attention to that. Everyone has the right to campaign for whatever he wants, within the limits of what is permitted by the Great Charter, but this agitation does not give me any response.

In other words, are you ready to make concessions to the oddities of an individual, but not a social group?

is right. Because each individual has some peculiarities, but in public activity they are inappropriate.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №121267
 01.12.2015
I prayed to God to give me a good husband. God gave me a good husband. My husband did not pray. He got what he got.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121266
 01.12.2015
Rotenberg thinks: the Russian people are tolerant, they are sad, if I do not divorce them, someone else will do it.

Absolutely logical and fair.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121265
 01.12.2015
Rat42: Why is entrance to a gay club more expensive for girls than for men? and twice.
Fenyok: Because you have to pay for the opportunity to rest calmly?

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121264
 01.12.2015
by Stanislavski:

XXX is getting a new job.
You can imagine they have a backup air conditioner in the server!
They may even have a backup server there.
The main thing is not to be a reserve accountant.

What is wrong? In a normal server room can not be without a spare air conditioner! With the spare it happens that at -40 both external blocks freeze - we sit with the windows open. Per you have not heard of diesel generators for servers in case of power outages?

Yes, there are three servers. And we try to make the servaches and their mirrors stand on different buildings.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121263
 01.12.2015
Resident of Krasnoyarsk region hit official with a fork because of dark streets
The comments:
Father: A village, by logic, should be villas, not a fork.
A small village inhabitant.
I read badly: and his tools of work.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121262
 01.12.2015
xxx> I think I’m starting to understand a bit of the hippie ideology.
xxx and gt. The Bomb. The dust. The electric chair. Devices specially designed to cause death and pain.
xxx> Millions of photos freely circulating.
xxx> The organ through which we appear to the world. It is the natural and only source of nutrition for each of us in the first months of life. A mutually pleasant typical process, usually necessary for the appearance of a new young individual of our species.
xxx> Taboo and prosecution up to criminal.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №121261
 01.12.2015
HHH
Whitney Huston – I Will Survive

WOWU
This is the LGBT hymn.

HHH
I would say that the LGBT officels took as hymns, slogans and flags everything that never belonged to them and liked others.

HHH
Do you want to ban children from watching after the rain?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121260
 01.12.2015
Q: The question to the experts, is a separate hell boiler, designed specifically for me, considered private property, and can I get a loan under the guarantee of this boiler?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121259
 01.12.2015
XXX: All the sensory bleat!
XXX: Wiping out dust from the TV - it's on!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121258
 01.12.2015
From the corporate chat a few days before the release:

XHH: I asked why here - it may affect later any translators
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It would be great if the one who put it in would fix it :)
HISTORY – What is HISTORY?
The introvert is easier to look at histories, the extrovert is easier to ask - I apologize if anything;)
zzz: The problem is that judging by the condition of the bill, we have half-controller x*evert...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121257
 01.12.2015
Chechnya proposes to ban calling terrorists Islamic
They call themselves Islamic State.
Let’s ban Turks from calling them Turks, so that you can normally make coffee without imposing sanctions on yourself.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121256
 30.11.2015
News: The RPC called for the fight against organizations that promote sex education programs in schools.
An anecdote about "Joppa - is, and the words - not" decided to implement?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121255
 30.11.2015
I visited the website of a well-known clothing store. I liked the T-shirt. I specified what was available in the closest department to me, recorded the article, so as not to waste time searching on the spot, and went shopping. I usually do not order through the website. The price is the same, and it makes no sense.



I: Hello to you. I need a T-shirt MSF-45884



Seller: Unfortunately, it is not available right now.



I: I clarified literally 20 minutes ago, I was told by phone that the goods were available, in sufficient quantity.



Seller: It may be reserved for sale through the website.





I take the phone, call the number from the site left in the outgoing. The tube with an unobtrusive look is taken by the same girl who is behind the counter a meter from me, and who just told me in the face that there is no goods.





Seller (already on the phone): Yes Goods are available.



I: Can I ask you to leave for me 2 copies, brown and grey?



Seller: Yes of course. Do you have a discount card?



I: Yes, it’s registered on the number I call from. When buying, it is not necessary to have the card with you, enough is the phone number on which it is registered.



The goods are postponed for you. Come at any time.



I : thank you. I put a telephone.



A girl with a still unwavering appearance gets from under the shelf 2 T-shirts that interest me, and with a stretched smile calls the price.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121254
 30.11.2015
I will soon create a special blog called "The Explosion of My Brain by the Logic of the Balians".
After each performance, our employees cover the lighting devices with cellophane (4 pieces of lamp), because the rainy season, and the equipment is unfortunate. Before leaving the field, I check if they covered everything. I see one lamp not covered. The further dialogue:
Why is the lamp not covered?
(Long looking in the direction of my thumbing finger) Well, because I've covered the first one (he touches the opposite side) twice...
Oceania, do you have to cover it?
– Well, I’ve covered it twice... – he expresses his unfailing surprise with my incomprehensiveness...
After the show you will cover 1 lamp 4 times and then you will not have to climb up to the other lamps 3 times.
- Okay - he joyfully answers me, apparently not understanding all the sarcasm...
Then I had to explain that he would not get rid of me so easily, and he would still have to climb to all 4 lamps and cover them all separately...

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