If you do not stop hanging about the spring stuck somewhere - you will get a dull and dull, dry summer again..and you will hang again ((

biser: I sit at work, I look around the office, the man goes, I look at the puppy’s hands, I stretch out my neck, I swim in a floating smile, I look at a man, a puppy, a man, a puppy. The man reacted strangely to me. I look at it – and it’s a fur coat under the mouse (((

xxx: Today, in the subway, I had a dream of dancing oposums, which argued that the banking system is losing liquidity and money should be invested in sugar plantations in India and Brazil.
YYY: The summary, in general, is right.

From Twitter (several posts in a row):

After work I went to "Ashan" - home ended, apologies, toilet paper.
And here, we stand with her at the box office, and the cashier - a 20-year-old guy - builds the eyes.
He broke through the purchase, took the money and asked, “Girl, what are you doing tonight?”
Well you understood that I answered him by cleaning the purchase in the backpack.
He, by the way, was not offended, laughed together, but for some reason did not want to continue the communication.
Probably the plans did not coincide.

News on Yandex
"Saratov Donor Center refuses to perform the function of a dining room"

Fuck, who are they feeding?!...

I write to a girl:

I’m sitting at work in the Metal Spirit Resurrection Tour t-shirt, and it’s awful. I just learned the dictionary of the word "ohuenno", and it’s ohuenno.

I dare not agree with you, sir. I’m lying at home under a blanket without a Metal Spirit Resurrection Tour T-shirt, and it’s awful.

It was ?

From the Developers' Speech:
Has the service fallen on the test terminal?
and no.
and O_O?
He did not get up there. To fall, you have to rise first.

Denis
How do you look at it to turn over a circle of... beer?

Maximum
This archipidest idea has a small point of collision - the payment period of allocations although it has passed the previous month, but we have not felt them with our hands and the hole in the pocket of the port will be more than the port girl (

I personally still wonder what happened to the trolleybus that we left))))

The man just played in the GTA.

Pearls of Rostelecom
Working in the utility there was a case when the water supply pipe broke... We decided to change. But it wasn’t here it was – in the same place she crossed the telephone line.
The pipe is 3 meters below the ground, and the telephone wires are 1 meter... At the request to allow you to dig, Rostelecom replied with one convincing phrase: “You will pay us for putting your pipe on our lines!”

There is a literary translation exam at the Institute of Foreign Languages. The teacher gives the student a phrase for translation into English. The following phrase:

“Oh, my feet, four clothes,
I want to stay at home, I want to go to Yorgka.”

The student can translate it into English. The teacher reads and gives it to the next student to translate this now English phrase into Russian. The student translates it as follows:

“The shoes glow unbearably with lacquer.
I have nowhere to run. Everything is decided.
I have no longer a peaceful sleep at home.
I’m supposed to stay with George today!”

(Expenses for technical support)
Maruja Ivanovna: Well, what’s there with my laptop?
Smolnyi: the screw is filled with beads... I don’t even know if I can pull anything out of there...
Marisa Ivanovna: What is it? The bed? This is what?
Smolnyi: these are such terrible sectors on the hard disk, the treatment of which is made only with the arrival of guests and subsequent joint laying. and :-)
Marisa Ivanovna: Yes to me. Okay, tell me when?
Smolnyi: krghm... em, nuow... let’s go now, you need a laptop sooner, right?

xxx: "Ukraine began receiving gas from Europe"
YYY: Does Europe know this?

She: It’s hard to love Barcelona – and get into the trend. There is nothing worse than being in trend, honestly.
He: How terrible to get into the trend of trying not to get into the trend!

Today, children’s broadcasts are no longer the same.
Include a TV... a random channel, a children’s broadcast...
Uzbek in the hood and children...
u(uzbek): "I know what you need!"
D(Children): ""
u: "this is a bunch!"
D: ""
U: "but it’s not just simple knots! They are magical!, They will help you see the fairy!

xxx: the boys came for the leaflets about the whore polypography set up for the suiteners to see. The wild people!! to

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I always think so, but I’m educated.
But judging by the harams - themselves, themselves

Pearls of Rostelecom:
Domestic Internet is missing. Everything is connected, the lights are flashing. But there is no internet. Call the Technical Support:
[Explanation of circumstances and attempts to overload the modem]
I: Well, I still don’t have the internet. What to do?
A: Wait for me.
[10 minutes later]
A: I found out everything! You have 1756 rubles on your account, and the internet does not work because we forgot to write off your money!

You won't believe it, but the most refined mat I've heard from two people: from the crawl on the building outside the window, when their crane fell, and from a familiar oneesnik when switching from seven to eight.

xxx: I lived to 30 years and only now learned that I am absolutely infertile from birth :(
YYY: Are you married?
xxx : yes :(
Yyy: Sorry for the stupid question, as a psychologist, I wonder, do you feel guilty to your wife? Or maybe other feelings?
I do not feel guilty, I am not guilty.
xxx: but about other feelings for my wife, yes, they are, but I will not write
YYY : Why?
xxx: I don't want to leave evidence for trial, because I have a "daughter" =/

by Corp. Car owners after the snowfall
Hello to everyone. Who can borrow a half clock?
Hello to you, sensitive smartphone compressor!