As a child, I dreamed of becoming a hero of work. But when I grew up, I learned that I needed to work for it. Children’s dreams are broken.

I am a change manager. The owner’s wife is an artist. A beautiful lady, smart, talented, but flattering. After drinking, she begins to paint portraits, and somehow she gets to get a character. That is, you look at the picture and understand what this person has in mind, what he lives, what he fears and so on. Before I read about this in books, considered the author's imagination, but believe me, I saw it in reality. A week ago the boss was not there, and his wife is not entering the territory. The machine was broken, itself blue, sat in the corner of the shop, put a bottle of vodka in his feet and began, periodically crawling, silently drawing portraits of workers in a regular notebook with the simplest ball pen. I, of course, lighted that the work continued, like nothing happened and everything as it should be. He called the boss, he came, took her home and, according to rumors, then coded. And the notepad I picked up, there were about 20 sketches, and... I finally understood who spit the Bulgarian.

My child is soon in 1st class. I saw the map of the world in the store, first rushed to buy, and then thought - in 4 months on the map can change a lot.
I will buy it in August.

My daughter is studying in an online school. I met a new boy at school today. The dialogue between the teacher and the boy.

Q: What is your name?

M is seed.

Q: Semen, what class are you in?

M in 1 year.

Q: What is your favorite subject?

Hmmm... a whiplash!

In a love triangle, one of the characters has sex a little more often.

The future came yesterday.
The largest university in our country. I walk past the audience in the morning to my office. At this moment the door opens, the student comes out and says, addressing the teacher: "Alexey Nikolaevich, thank you very much for allowing me to leave! I left the dictionary, he writes your lecture, the guys will give me afterwards, and I listen to everything!” He closes the door and runs away. What an interested student!“I thought...

A couple of days later, the door to the auditorium is opened, Nikolaich's lecture is held, ten students are sitting, and on the lecture table on the edge three dictofones lie in a row and write his lecture. “The first experience was a success!” I thought and went on.

A week later, I found a logical end. I urgently needed a few words of Nikolaich, I approach the door of the auditorium – he is reading a lecture. I knock. Without any effect. I knock and look: a magnetophone stands on the table and reads the lecture with Nikolaich's voice, around 10 dictofones and phone headsets lie, listen attentively and record it. And no one more...

Kudrin promised the Russians to have tough years without explaining his optimism.

XXX: That’s shit even with such a dumb girl...I’m doing something wrong?



Yyy: He’s just beautiful, and you’re not.



XXX: I am beautiful, it is not a hero, it is not a panacea.



Yyy: I speak like the same beautiful – compliments from mom encourage, but in fact do not do more beautiful.

In relationships with power, the main thing is not to have any relationship with it.

At 10 o’clock, the youngest daughter (9 years old) calls: “Dad, I fell from the hole, I hit, my arm hurts very much.” He went, took it out of the house, took it to the clinic to the traumatologist, found a fracture, put on a plaster.
At lunch, the eldest daughter (12 years old) calls: "Dad, I went to the store for a ice cream for Larke, I fell, my leg was shaken." I took it, I went to the traumatologist, he examined it, sent it to the bandage, began to fill out the map, then looked at me and said, "I think I already had Ivanova today?", I confirm to him, I said, only the younger Lera, and this is the older Masha. In general, he took Maska home, did not have time to come to work, his wife calls: "I pressed my hand through the door, my finger was swollen!" With my wife, the doctor took me without unnecessary questions, found a fracture and sent me to apply a plaster.
He looked at me through his glasses and asked me:
Is Ivanov finished today?

When there are no new ideas in the Ministry of Economic Development, they conduct a survey among taxi drivers.

My husband and I once bought in a Dutch sex shop a large box of beautiful chocolate hearts made of untempered chocolate that melts from the temperature of the human body. It was supposed that they had to smash on each other and sliced. Chocolate was very delicious and with different additives, each heart was different from the other. Moreover, they were not signed, and if any strawberry or banana taste was recognized immediately, then about the more exotic we did not always agree on what taste it was. In general, they had a very fun and satisfying evening, ate the whole box of these hearts, hugged and never got to sex.

In a democracy, the pirates have the opportunity to defend their rights.
With authoritarianism, they can rule.

My dad told me. I am from the Urals. He took me one winter into the garage when I was a kid. The road was through the forest. The dialogue with the Pope:
Are there monkeys in the forest?
Daddy – no, monkeys live where it is warm.
Why do monkeys live where it’s warm and we live here?! to

Interesting – and if doctors on the Day of the Doctor would chase the city on cars with white flags
with the red cross and in robes on a bare foot, scalpeled scalpel and phonendoscopes, shouted “I do not obey the law, but Hippocrates, his mother!”, sprinkled the paint from the syringes to Jean in the passers,
They watered brunettes with peroxide, drank whiskies with corvalol right from the tubes, beat themselves in the chest with the words “Yes, I operated your mother, creature, and where were you at that time?”Would we be respected more?

The people are silent because they are brainless.

I have a couple with two children, 9 and 6 years old. And he, and she from disadvantaged families, in everyday life talk in Russian mother tongue, from the category of "take this fight to this heroine." Children talk about the same way.
The terrible parents? I am not sure. Although not the most cultural language, but to children brought very strict norms of behavior. "Only pigs and pigs are dumped on the street" - children never throw their fantasy under their feet, but carry it to the urn, even if it has to be specifically sought. "Hate the weak fools and cowards" - children never raise their hand on animals and babies. They advocate for girls, they don’t steal, they don’t cheat. The seats in the bus are given to the elderly.
And you know, it is much more pleasant for me to see a child who speaks like a rocker, but behaves like a man, than a purely over-loved child who can both throw a wrap on a bench and beat a cat with a stick, because their parents don’t care.

One question plagues me. Why did those who killed Lystyev not be found, and those who did not kill Soloviev were found?

The six-year-old boy refused to believe that we used to use paper cards to navigate.



Do you mean pirates?“?”

If anyone told me, I’t believe it.

He enrolled in the GIBDD through state services at 16:45. I haven’t been there, I don’t know anyone. At 9 in the morning, I go for business. I watched a few cars on Saturday. I should have registered earlier.



Call from an unknown number.

Have you been to Gibraltar tonight?

and yes.

What did they pass by? Come in now, people are few.



It was hard to surprise me, but I did.