yesterday chased viruses on compams with my wife, and I consulted by phone, and administered my wife...
The dialogue was approximately this:

Malware installed or scaned?
- Yes, it gave a bunch of Trojans - it collapsed, it does not help.
- Cookies, cache cleaned, modem overloaded, logs watched?
Yes, the same as well.
What about localhost?
I will give you "Allo, Colchoz"! Everything has been done, nothing helps.

You are Gordon, fucking. With you I feel safe!
Alexander: I am a stunned. In other words, do not hope.

Just in the corridor:
The manager opens the door into our room and tries to enter, the door does not open quickly enough and he beats her in the forehead.
Apparently it hurts, stands - holds his forehead, I don't see anyone any longer - but he has such a dialogue:
I hit my head...
–...
What do you know?I just hit it!!! to

XXX: The scratches are still there. This means that the asphalt will be stronger.
Long live the Russian asphalt, asphalt that is stronger than corundum! Hurra comrades!

Yyy: Paradoxically, Russian asphalt scratches sapphire glass but is perfectly soluble in water.

My friend and I once sat in a bar. The case was abroad.
There are two fat Russian men over the age of 40 and sit nearby.
apparently, they were impressed by the fact that we ordered not in the menu, but in confident English.
They began to discuss us. We decided that we are from Australia)) discussed our age, appearance... even had time to share who! I didn’t know what to do with myself so I didn’t get upset!
And then the most interesting thing began... began to decide how to call us to the hotel... "let’s say that we see the sea from the balcony" and so on.
We just fell there! After that, they naturally realized that they were loathing, hurriedly asked for an account and disappointed.
The waiters laughed a long time later.)

Nick: I hope someday they will make such a chip so that dreams can be recorded. We will be posting videos on DreamTube

Are you sure you want to see your dreams?and :)

Nick: Well some on PornDreamTube

Call from the sales department to support:
I wiped the keyboard and accidentally confirmed two office notes. Could you cancel the confirmation?

xxx: I saw an advertisement this morning, which carried a text in the style of "punishment cannot be pardoned":
"The dog is gone!
..."

The New York Metro:
Right now, while I am writing this story, sitting in a subway wagon on the way to work - attention 9 in the morning, a black guy stopped next to me and, without stressing at all, sucked in a glass, swallowing everything around. He then poured the contents of the glass onto the floor. by Pizzeria!! That is, as if even at first he was a little conscientious. How would I say, “Well, what am I going to suck in the subway car, right on the floor?” That is disgraceful. What will people think? But in the glass, nobody will notice. I think it’s cultural"
But now, after all decency (to put in a glass) was observed, you can already pour everything on the floor on the label. As it were at this point, he moved with society to "you".

Worse than "Bla" instead of "Julia" may be just a letter sent by me "With respect, Eben"

Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill:
The Russians are unpredictable. They tired their peasants of hunger. They flooded the most fertile lands to make power plants. They have contaminated harvest areas with waste from the nuclear industry. They have a small population density, but at the same time they tricked to pollute their country so much that they are now forced to buy grain. I thought I would die of old age. But when Russia, which fed the whole of Europe with bread, began to buy grain, I realized that I would die of laughter... In a couple of generations they are still degrading and will not be able to independently even extract mineral resources. The people will die out, and dictators and their servants will live by buying luxury items from us and selling concessions to neighboring countries; for Russian leaders this is the most profitable business... They are destroying cybernetics and genetics – the better for us, we will sell them seeds and electronic devices. In addition, nuclear waste can be sold to Russia for a symbolic fee. It is enough to stop the Soviet expansion, and they will destroy themselves without any active action on our part.

XHH: Judging by the hell knows which iPhone number and whose upcoming tablet is new, the plan works. Does the USSR really exist? At least in the modern generation of Athos, who do not like when they write correctly in their native language and are upset why coffee is now not the kind, without the desire to know at least its ethymology.

x: white noise sounds great :D also say headphones can be warm with pink noise
And the pink? What fucking thing is this?
X: I look at Wiki
X: Oh, it turns out there is still blue, brown, blue noise
x and black)
y: black noise is rap
x: phahahahhhhhhhh)))

Conversation with the Boss:
I: Vasily Alexandrovich, the customer got it, there is no debt, deal with them or I will send them!! to
Chef: These are our main customers, we do not have the right to send them and in general according to the laws of business we must love and mitigate them in every way.
I: I am an employee and I prefer to love employers exclusively through the bosses.
No one has ever called me Gandalf so beautifully.

I: I can’t find an excuse to write to you.
She: Are you about the cause or about part of the speech?
I: On the occasion. Not part of the shell.

- In general, our cuddled rector of the Medacademie is attached to us in the IT department... and declares with raids... he wants us to have clouds. There are clouds in every universe, but we don’t.
And you answered him!? to
How they said they would be. There is no problem.
Did you lie to Dick?
- No, I hung a reproduction from the painting by the artist Quinji "The Cloud" in the server room.

Girls are like butterflies.
Those who have patience. The impatient are the goats.

I'm a man, I have to be silent and occasionally cry in the corner of the family, pressing my hairy knees to my unbrushed beard.

Long live the Russian court! The most just and humane court in the world!
If two strangers suddenly decide to cheat,
Making a hole in you, and in your friends,
Don’t think about defending yourself, throw your stomach on the knife!
Then the judge acknowledges that you are right and they are not.
But if you think of defending the bandit,
With a stick, branch, fist or even a pistol,
Be prepared that those bandits who have more money,
They will become victims, the poor, and you will be put in jail!

SnowGreen: I stood at the stop, approached the kiosk, bought cigarettes
I usually smoke Danyl.
I look around - dirt, garbage, garbage, some hachiki, grandmothers with chariots
What is Danny Denham? The red, please

YouTube video "Online video - how to properly wear a condom."

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