bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №79045
 21.03.2013
Yesterday I went with my husband on a trolley bus.
The interruption. We stand. We are not far from where we need to be.
Here the driver, carefully parks the trolley bus in the "pocket", opens the door and goes out.
We also went out and decided to walk. We still joke, say "once the driver decided to go out, then we can"
And we see a wicked thing.
It turns out in front of the traffic is blocked by another trolleybus, absolutely empty. Not the driver, not the driver, not the passengers.
So the driver of our trolleybus, sits in this empty trolleybus and leaves.
I and my brother looked at him on the street. Two quarters later he turned to another street and escaped from our eyes.

I personally still wonder what happened to the trolleybus that we left))))

[ + 27 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79044
 21.03.2013
My daughter (09:39:55 21/03/2013)
At night, the neighbor’s bed screamed. Exactly one minute. She needs it!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №79043
 21.03.2013
I don’t like to go for beer... in the morning, they look at me as the last drink, but I’m not myself!! to
Yyy: Order a T-shirt with a large inscription “I don’t take this for myself.”
Zzzz: Go to her wedding :3

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79042
 21.03.2013
The car replacement just worked for something.
Riches: Yes, that is what happens. I forgot to turn off the auto correction.)
Romashka Bogachev: You write in Google "The sinusoidality of the reduction inductor is not emulated with the chromophore euphoria of the axyrogenic-adjustable photon triangulator", and it gets "download porn for free without SMS" :D

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №79041
 21.03.2013
NK: If you are at a wedding and you are asked stupid questions - answer loudly and clearly:"Bitter!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №79040
 21.03.2013
XXX: How is it?
YYY: Funny
The Floors Click
Repair the bathroom
There are no plates
At work to kill half a worker is ready
How are you?
XXX: And I have PMS.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №79039
 21.03.2013
I love these creative people!

(He talks to himself trying to find something to eat.)
The fish soup! But we ate it yesterday, my beauty...
(Song by Roxette)
Listen to your good-a-art!
(I’m going to make fast pasta)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №79038
 21.03.2013
PurPurPur: I want to eat...
Mistake: And I too! Whom to eat?
PurPurPur: I don’t eat people.
PurPurPur: And the vans.
Driving: What a nice clarification.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79037
 21.03.2013
Signs of time: a generation is growing up who can’t use a computer mouse.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №79036
 21.03.2013
Eat Vodka> Drink Cucumbers: Clover nicknames
Drink Cucumbers> Eat Vodka: Yours, to go, complementary to mine)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №79035
 21.03.2013
When you see this idiot, you will be very surprised at his madness.
“I’m a client of Sberbank, so it’s hard to surprise me with stupidity.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №79034
 21.03.2013
Three crows in the swamps. 2 next to each other, something loudly prove to each other, and the third slightly on the side. Somewhere she accidentally picked up a large piece of white bread and, cheered by happiness, had already jumped to take off, but suddenly slowed down, stood up a little bit, looked carefully at those two and walked carefully over the nearest snow mountain.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №79033
 21.03.2013
Working correspondence :
Good day.

The slaves are finished. Please confirm the functionality of the portal.

With respect,
xxxx

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №79032
 21.03.2013
Candy "Cancer neck" and "Gussian legs" exist for one purpose - to give them to a foreigner, wait until he tries, and then, looking in the eyes, translate the name.

by Lucky

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79031
 21.03.2013
Laughter prolongs life, but who needs such a long funny life?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №79030
 21.03.2013
I was very young at the time, I was only fourteen, cigarettes were not always sold in the store. As suddenly a disturbing rumor spread through the school that those who have already knocked, need to go to the district military department, have a card there, go to the medical commission and all kinds of shells.
It was a big break, but there was one small strap in the situation. You can go to school legally. So I chose a day with hopeless control and went to surrender to the army.
I come and see another twenty boys laying in the cabinets. He asked, signed up, took a paper. Next to doctors. They immediately asked about fainting, checked whether I knew the alphabet, then measured all my tactical and technical characteristics. Finally, I showed a dark aunt a pitch.
I think everything. to home. But what there.
Suddenly, a slightly messy military man appears in the corridor, and screams. We do not run, we go all out into the yard, we build, now the commander of the military committee will speak to you.
We came out, built not very accurately, we stand, we wait for phenomena.
We look in front of some small turboprop miracle, judging by rust, of the time immediately after the Great Patriotic War. But without a race and tribe, probably some small-series, unsuccessful specimen. Or assembled by local floats in a garage of spare parts.
It must be said, at the time, all the military commissions of the city were very competitive in the quest to have some visible military aid on their territory. Someone had a BTR, someone had a mine. We have a mysterious plane.
So here we stand, we talk, we wait. But something caught me this unit, I try to identify the brand by memory, then I was fascinated by aviation, I cut pictures from "Youth Techniques", I understood, the model of the glue.
Finally the boss came out, pushing us something burning. Then he thought and asked:
Does anyone have questions to me?
Everyone, of course, is silent, looking at the gate, then I couldn’t stand and whispered:
Why did you put it in Messerschmitt’s court?
Where is? He did not understand with a deaf voice.
“Yes,” I stumbled towards the plane. He turned and looked at him for a long time, as if he had landed here a minute ago. And then I gradually became aware that because of the color of the drive, he probably doesn’t know very well what this is.
The scream was then. Military promised to remember me forever, to issue a white ticket right now, and never see me again. Yes, they were so scared.
I apologized for a long time, the man turned out to be normal. Most importantly, he really remembered this case, which allowed me, later grown up, to enter our military commissariat, as if home.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №79029
 21.03.2013
Going on a business trip, he joked to his wife that there was a video recorder in the bedroom. I came, and the table in the kitchen was broken.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79028
 21.03.2013
The accelerator burns:

Tagged with: "Ezekiel in the Mist"

Question of 12:
Are you the hero of the Soviet film?
- Yes

Question of 13:
Has your character been tainted?
- OO

Which Soviet multiplayer was this?? to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №79027
 21.03.2013
In the pharmacy:
Please give me a bottle for analysis.
Are you under the urine or feces?
What is the difference?
Under a spoon.
Under the tube?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №79026
 21.03.2013
I talked with a friend, a conversation came about his nephew, he is already 13-14 years old, well, I tell him that soon there will be schoolchildren chasing from her...
He is:
I am still threatening!
But soon I will have a shelf of torn trophy eggs!
I am :
Are you wearing a little puppy? :)

I’ll make a necklace!

Fantasy played out, well, I decided to crack down on the joke, maybe someone has already done it...

Time passed... the boss approaches, we talk there about touring bags, and what she was sleepy to swallow... and I have there "how to make a necklace of male eggs"

The phrase "Woman, are you okay?" made me go back to reality
I have been explaining for a long time what and why.)

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